


Fuck Fate

by ellipsism



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec is a cop, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Attempt at Seduction, Banter, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Izzy is a Romantic at Heart, M/M, Magnus POV, Magnus is an Architect, Misunderstandings, Nudity, Pining, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Swearing, TW for Drinking, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, an inordinate amount of skittles, everyone ships it, it's a lot more innocent than i make it sound, minor sizzy, obviously, pretending to be engaged, shameless flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2018-11-09 12:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 85,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11104920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellipsism/pseuds/ellipsism
Summary: When Magnus woke up on this one fateful day his tongue felt like it was made out of sandpaper, his head like someone had used it as a hammer and his stomach like he’d swallowed a gallon of soap. He barely had the energy to get up but as it turned out the universe didn’t care that he had a hangover to nurse because it still sent him spiraling down a mess of misunderstandings, lies, and confusion. And honestly? He really didn’t have the nerve to deal with it all.So fuck social media, fuck trying to help others and fuck being in love.The only thing that doesn’t seem to work is him fucking Alexander because apparently the whole universe hates him and fate is set against him.Well, you know what?Fuck fate.





	1. Fuck Social Media

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, lovely person!
> 
> After I had so much fun with my first Malec fanfic I decided it would be time for another one - this time multichaptered.
> 
> I'm working on publishing one chapter per fortnight, always on Mondays. However, I cannot promise that I will always have it on time. What I can promise is that I will DEFINETELY finish this fic, no matter what (well, unless I get hit by a bus or something but I'll just cross my fingers and hope that won't be the case). 
> 
> I'm open for constructive criticism so if you think something could use some improvement then don't hesitate to tell me so!
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Magnus was dying.

Not literally, although he felt like it. But he had what must have been the worst hangover in the history of mankind. His head was bursting, his throat was dry and his tongue felt like something had died on it.

He tried to open his eyes but instantly closed them again. Everything was way too bright. He groaned and immediately winced when his head hurt even more from the vibration of his own voice.

God, hangovers sucked.

Just as he had decided that he would stay in bed all day (if he recalled it correctly it was a Sunday and Sundays were pajama days anyway) he could feel something moving next to him in the sheets. Something too big to be the Chairman.

Inwardly he sighed. And so his plans to not leave the bed had already failed.

He didn’t remember much of last night; only that Alexander, Isabelle, Biscuit, Sherwin and him had hit the club together. Biscuit had been upset because her boyfriend had flown to Dallas last night. (“You know, at first I thought that whole pilot thing was really sexy but now it kinda sucks because I miss him so much.”) and Isabelle was still down-beat because of her messy break-up with Meliorn. And so Magnus had thought it might cheer both of them up. Or at least distract them from any miserable thoughts they might have. It had worked, to say the least. Magnus could vaguely remember a lot of laughter and alcohol and his throbbing head only reinforced him in his assumption.

Sometime at that bar he must have picked up a stranger again. He was so not in the mood to kick him or her out again but even less in the mood to spend an awkward breakfast with the person. And most of all he was so not in the mood for Isabelle and Biscuit teasing him for it.

He could hear a sleepy sound, muffled by the pillows and then feel an arm being wrapped around his waist from behind.

Okay, so the person was definitely a man. Even though Magnus still didn’t want to open his eyes he had to congratulate his drunken self for its excellent taste. Those arms felt positively delicious, maybe even more muscular than his.

Magnus could feel the man’s hot breath against his neck and, careful not to wake him, he shuffled his feet a little to guess how tall the other one was. And indeed, even though his body was outstretched, his feet only touched a pair of hairy legs. The man was a good few inches taller than him. That didn’t happen all too often.

But as promising as the body of the man snuggled up to him felt, Magnus was just not in the mood. Slowly he forced his weary eyes open, blinking a few times until the bright light didn’t seem too awful anymore. With gentle fingers he then freed himself from the arm around his waist. He crawled out from underneath the blanket and stumbled into the direction of the bathroom, still naked. 

He would kick the guy out, no questions asked, but he would do so while looking fabulous. He couldn’t face him with yesterday’s makeup still on. After all, he had a reputation to uphold.

He only really woke up after he stepped under the shower and a stream of cold water hit him. He gasped and frantically tried to regulate the temperature until it was hot enough for him. For a few minutes he just stood there and let it rain on him while the small room filled itself with steam. Finally though, he remembered the man in his bedroom and sighed, grabbing the shampoo bottle.

After the shower he stepped in front of the fogged mirror, swiping it with his bare hand until he could see his own reflection. There were still some leftovers from his mascara under his eyes but all in all he didn’t look as bad as he felt.

The first thing he did was to retrieve an aspirin from the cupboard and swallow it with some water. While he waited for the effect to kick in, he ridded himself of the black paint with familiar movements and then proceeded to go through his usual morning routine of products, skipping the makeup. There was no need to get fancy if he didn’t plan to leave the house anyway.

Finally he couldn’t procrastinate any further. Maybe the man had already woken up when Magnus had been under the shower and left to not make things awkward? Unlikely, but one could still hope, right?

The towel wrapped around his waist he went back into his bedroom. The man was still soundly asleep, his tall figure buried under the thick blanket (it was winter and Magnus got cold very easily). He seemed to be sleeping on his stomach because the only thing visible was a mob of dark hair.

With a determined movement he pulled the blanket away. He could see the man’s body stir at the sudden exposure to the chill air. He had a nice back. All muscles, although in need of a serious tan.

“Rise and shine, darling. I’m sure last night was fun but since I now suffer from a horrendous hangover I’m afraid I’ll have to kick you out.”

With a groan the man blindly reached for the blanket to pull it up again, turned around and-

“Alexander?!”

 

-

 

In shock Magnus stared at the man lying in his bed. The man that was very much Alexander Lightwood, his best friend and long-time crush.

“Magnus?” Alexander croaked, his voice still raspy from sleep. “What are you doing here?”

With tired eyes he started to take in his surroundings, realizing where he was.

“What am I doing here?” he corrected himself.

Magnus couldn’t do anything but keep staring. This couldn’t be happening. This was impossible. Finally, finally, he had Alexander in his bed and he couldn’t remember one bit of what had happened. And much worse: He had no idea what would happen now.

Alexander pushed himself into an upright position and only now he seemed to notice something.

“Why am I naked?” And this was when all the pieces in the man’s brain fell into place and he realized what was going on.

“Oh crap.”

“I could not have phrased it any better,” Magnus commented. “I don’t know how much you remember from last night but if your hangover is even half as bad as mine it can't be much. I’m sure you’ll want to take a shower, feel free to use mine. There’s some aspirin in the cupboard over the sink.”

Alexander just nodded, cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. For a moment Magnus just stood there, looking at his best friend, sitting naked in Magnus’ bed, until Alexander cleared his throat.

“Would you, uh, mind turning around, maybe?” His cheeks turned an even darker color and it was adorable to watch. God, he really needed to get a grip. This was so not the right time.

“Sure, of course.” Awkwardly he turned around and closed his eyes to keep himself from peeking. He could hear Alexander getting up, his surprisingly light steps on the floor and then the bathroom door opening and closing again. Shortly after, he heard Alexander turning the shower on.

This was bad. This was very, very bad. He could not even phrase how bad this was. What was he supposed to do now?

A look at his demeanor showed him that he should get dressed at first and so he did. Only this time he didn’t put as much thought into his wardrobe as usually. Worrying about the man in his bathroom and the threat last night had put on their relationship, he simply settled on his go-to outfit. Skinny black jeans and his low cut burgundy shirt with his favorite necklaces and ear cuff.

He could hear the water in the bathroom being turned off and tried to not think of Alexander stepping out of the shower, wet and naked. Instead he took his phone into his hand to distract himself. Noticing the low battery because he forgot to charge his phone, too busy making terrible life choices (like having drunken sex with his best friend), he quickly plugged it in.

With a small frown on his forehead he noticed that his phone was practically bursting with notifications.

 

_Little Cabbage [8:25]_

_I can’t say this comes as a surprise, although it was very sudden. But you never could wait, could you? Tell me as soon as you know a date, so I can book a flight back to New York._

 

This made zero sense to Magnus. Rather than responding he checked what other messages he had gotten this night.

 

_Scott Lowman [00:36]_

_Congrats!! This is like the best thing that has happened in a long time and I can’t wait to hear how it happened! This is like the perfect happy ending and you’ve had it coming for a long time._

 

This was odd as well. Could it be that Samuel knew of his night with Alexander? It could be. After all he had been with them in the bar in which everything had started. Magnus couldn’t think of any other reason that was worthy of congratulations. Only the “how” was none of the boy’s business.

He opened the next message.

 

_Jace Lightwood [00:33]_

_Hey man just heard the news. Congrats! Id have never guessed you 2 had the balls to finally admit it. Btw tell my brother 2 answer his phone. Bc of him I owe clary a shit load of cash now_

 

This message was even more confusing than Steven’s, so Magnus decided to ignore it.

 

_Biscuit [00:30]_

_Congratulations Magnus! I’m so happy for you and Alec! We were all waiting for such a long time for this to happen and we all knew you two were always meant to be. <3_

 

That was just weird. Biscuit should know that one night of sex wasn’t necessarily the beginning of a long-term relationship. 

 

_Isabelle Lightwood [00:28]_

_CONGRATULATIONS! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO!! I’m so excited for the big day you need to let me plan everything! I’m coming over tomorrow at ten so that we can get started. Don’t want to ruin your night ;))_

 

‘Big day’? This was getting ridiculous. It was not like Alexander and he were getting married!

The door opened and Alexander stepped out, a towel wrapped around his waist and droplets of water dripping from his hair into his eyes.

“Hey, could you maybe lend me some clothes?”

Magnus cleared his throat, trying to not get distracted by the view.

“Of course, darling. Just fetch something out of the closet.”

Alexander gave him a small smile but Magnus couldn’t help but feel some kind of awkward tension between them. Things would never get back to normal after this. Magnus just knew it.

“Your sister texted me that she will drop by for a visit around ten, which is in,” he threw a quick glance at the watch “oh, around ten minutes already. And Jace told me to tell you to pick up your phone but I don’t know why.”

Alexander hummed to show that he had understood. Magnus had turned his back to him to give his friend some privacy while he changed. As he was waiting he decided to check his social media that also seemed to be bursting with notifications and ignored the other messages from Lydia, Raphael, Maia, Cat and some of his colleagues and/or friends.

He opened his twitter app and saw that a bunch of people had retweeted or commented one of his tweets. He sent a quick prayer to whatever higher power there was that he hadn’t drunk-tweeted anything embarrassing. Or anything too personal about Alexander and him…

Almost the instant he saw what he had posted he paled. His eyes widened, jaw going slack in shock. He could feel his phone slowly slipping from his grip. Now all the messages he had received made sense.

“Magnus, are you alright?” Alexander sounded worried and Magnus could only imagine what he must look like right now. “What is it? What happened?”

Within a second Alexander was by his side, stabilizing him and helping him to sit on the bed. All awkward tension was forgotten as he gently rubbed Magnus’ shoulder in comfort.

Without a word he handed the phone to his friend who took it, frowning in confusion while doing so. As soon as he set eyes on the screen though, he pretty much reacted the same way Magnus did.

“Oh shit,” he whispered.

Magnus thought that summed up the situation quite well. The tweet was a photo of him and Alexander kissing enthusiastically in Magnus’ loft. But it was not only the kiss. It was rather the text that went with it.

 

_If you like it put a ring on it. Waited for five years and not wasting another day! From now on it’s forever #engaged #finally_

 

The silence that followed seemed to drag on for eternity until Alexander finally broke it.

“But no one’s going to believe it, right? It would be insane. We’re not even dating, why would we get married?”

Magnus took the phone, switched to all the messages he had received earlier and handed it back again.

“Oh my God,” Alexander breathed. “This is insane. They cannot actually believe that we're engaged!”

That stung, although Magnus didn’t like to admit it. Was it really so absurd that Alexander and he could be a couple? Was it really that impossible? He didn’t have to think too long about it, the answer was yes. It wasn’t that Magnus wasn’t attractive. He knew he was. And smart as well. But Alexander was so closed off and traditional. Although he was out of the closet Magnus couldn’t imagine him being with someone so open and colorful. And however much Magnus yearned for Alexander’s love he wouldn’t change himself for it. He would not do that to himself.

He cleared his throat, pushing away those thoughts. “We need to tell them,” he stated.

“Yes, we do.”

As if it had been scripted, the doorbell rang that very second. Both men jumped at the sound but neither of them moved to get the door.

“That must be Isabelle,” Magnus said, announcing what both had thought.

Alexander nodded.

“I should probably get the door.”

Alexander nodded again. As the doorbell rang a second time and it became clear that his friend would give no other reaction Magnus got up. He walked to the front door and pressed the buzzer to let her up, not bothering to check through the intercom if it really was her.

He could hear her high heels on the wooden stairs (the elevator was broken) and soon after she was at his doorstep and hugging him tightly.

“Aw, I can’t believe you’re going to be my brother in law!” She stepped away from him, still resting her hands on his shoulders, taking in his appearance. “I’m so happy for both you and Alec. I couldn’t wish for a better brother-in-law.”

Isabelle looked at him with a genuine smile on her face and tears in her eyes. He gulped.

“Isabelle, Alexander and I need to tell you something about-” but in this moment she spotted Alexander walking up from behind Magnus.

“Alec!” Grinning she ran up to him and threw herself into his arms. Surprised he took a step back but caught her nonetheless.

“Hey, Izzy,” he greeted her in that soft voice that was only reserved for his family. Magnus loved that voice.

Sighing he closed the door. This would not be a comfortable conversation.

“My big brother is finally getting under the hood. I’m so proud of you, Alec!”

“Yeah, about that…” Alexander tried to start but she cut him off before he could complete his sentence.

“Wait. Before you say anything I need to tell you something. Both of you.” She signed them to sit down on the couch in front of her and they obeyed. “Ever since you two met it was obvious that you were the perfect match.” Alexander opened his mouth to disagree but she shushed him. “No, please, Alec, let me talk first. Everyone could see it. And you really went on like a house on fire. You’ve been best friends ever since and we all just waited for you to wake up and realize that you were in love with each other.” Oh God, this was so embarrassing. “I’m not going to lie. The first day you two met we already placed bets when you’d start dating.” That explained Jace’ message. “No one knew it would take you that long and we had to renew the bets twice but now it finally happened. And not only that. You’re engaged!” Her smile was so wide that Magnus was afraid it would hurt her cheeks and she really looked like she was going to cry any second now. “I must admit, at first it seemed like a huge step but it just makes so much sense! I’m not the least bit surprised and neither are the others.  
We were a bit worried though. Before your announcement. We were afraid you’d never realize you were in love with each other and we even planned to push you a little into the right direction. But now that’s not needed anymore and I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.”

Magnus could feel Alexander fidgeting next to him and he already felt bad for taking all that hope from Isabelle. She looked so ecstatic.

“Look, Isabelle, there has been a m-“

“What Magnus is trying to say,” Alexander cut him off, voice unusually high, body tense. “Is that we need to talk alone for a second. We’ll be right back.”

Magnus frowned in confusion but Alexander just took him by his arm and practically dragged him into the bedroom.

“What the- Alexander!” Magnus complained just as his best friend shut the door behind them.

“We can’t tell her,” he breathed. If he wouldn’t have been standing so close Magnus would not have been able to hear him. As a matter of fact, however, Alexander stood right in his personal space, looking down at Magnus with pleading eyes.

“What are you talking about? We need to tell her!” Magnus hissed. “Have you seen your sister? She is convinced that we are soulmates. This will just get worse if we don’t end this now.”

“She’s so happy, Magnus. You know she just had this messy break-up with Meliorn and this may actually help her, you know. Give her hope.”

“False hope, Alec!” Alexander lowered his gaze onto the floor at the mention of the shortened version of his name. “If you encourage this now then it will be the more painful when you crush that hope later on.”

“Just until she’s over Meliorn. As soon as she is calmer we’ll tell her. I will tell her myself, I promise.” He looked up again, his hazel eyes silently begging Magnus to say yes.

This was insane. He should not do this. This was the worst idea ever and he knew it. There was this big voice inside his head screaming “No!” at him. But there was another voice as well. A voice that saw Alexander’s look and wanted to give him everything he wanted. And a voice that knew that pretending to be engaged would very well be the closest thing Magnus would ever get to a relationship with Alexander. And maybe this was all that it would take to make Alexander fall in love with him. It was a stupid, naïve hope and the voice screaming “No!” knew that it would most likely end in heartbreak and misery for Magnus. But the other voice held onto that teeny tiny bit of hope like a lifeline and screamed “Yes!” at him in full volume.

And who was Magnus to ever think of consequences? He had always lived in the moment, enjoyed things while they lasted, knowing that nothing ever lasted forever. So why not do it now?

“Okay.”

Alexander raised his eyebrows in surprise, a small smile appearing on his lips. “You’ll do it?”

“Yes, I’ll do it. But you’ll get to explain all of this to our friends as soon as this is over. And we need to somehow stop Isabelle from organizing our wedding and buying everything. It would be a waste of time and money.”

He was startled when Alexander suddenly cloaked him in a big hug. “Thank you! Thank you so much!” he whispered into Magnus’ hair. The man relaxed into the embrace, hugging him back.

“That’s what I’m here for, darling.”

Alexander let go of him again, Magnus instantly missing the warmth. His friend was grinning now. He looked a lot like his sister when he did that. “I’ll make it up to you, I swear. Whatever you need, name it and I’ll see what I can do.”

“I can already think of something…” Magnus murmured under his breath but Alexander hadn’t heard him, his hand already on the door handle.

“Really, thank you, Magnus,” he said one last time, his voice deep and sincere.

Magnus smiled a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Of course. Anything for you.”

Alexander turned around to open the door but Magnus stopped him one last time.

“Wait!” He reached up, buried both hands in Alexander’s dark hair and messed it up a little, then did the same with himself. “Bite your lips a few times,” he ordered. His friend understood and obeyed until his lips were pink and plush as if he just had a heavy make out session. “Now we’re ready to go. Let’s do this.”

Alexander opened the door and stepped back into the living room, Magnus following him on track. And as he rested his eyes on the broad back of his best friend he couldn’t help but think that this man would break his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for the first chap! Thank you for reading and if you want to tell me what you thought of it leave me a comment or message me on tumblr ([@dontblinkamelia](https://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/)). I'll love you forever <3
> 
> I also want to thank my Beta who assisted me with angelic patience. Thank you so much! (Check out her [tumblr](https://casbabes.tumblr.com/) and her [ao3 account](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Castiel_Winchester67/pseuds/Castiel_Winchester67))
> 
> And of course a huge thank you to my [girlfriend](https://littleashfairy.tumblr.com/) who dealt with all my nervous breakdowns and soothed my nerves with reassuring words.
> 
> This story is based on [this post](http://adribug.tumblr.com/post/117369540499/really-feelin-that-fake-engagement-au-aesthetic)


	2. Fuck, There's Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And deeper we go into the rabbit hole...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What has two thumbs and finally graduated high school? You can't see me but I'm currently pointing both of my thumbs at myself. That's right. It's me.

Isabelle was already in the kitchen and Alexander got there just in time to prevent her from putting a metal pot into the microwave. Apparently she had wanted to boil some water for tea. Magnus ordered both his guests to sit down whilst he dealt with this, already retrieving his special herb mix for hangovers out of his cupboard.

“So, spill!” Isabelle began. Magnus was glad that his back was facing her or else she may have seen the shock on his face as he realized that Alexander and he hadn’t settled on a background story yet. Both had no memory of the last night, so how were they supposed to make up a convincing lie out of the middle of nowhere? This was doomed from the start.

“Where to start?” Alexander laughed nervously and Magnus knew that he was having the exact same thought as he did.

“Who proposed?” she asked with a happy glimmer in her eyes, holding back a grin. Magnus put a cup in front of her and another one in front of Alec on the table and then got one himself. Placing the tea pot between them and waiting for the tea to be ready to drink, he fed his cat, the Chairman, who was starting to grow impatient. Whilst he did so, he could feel Alexander’s gaze on him, silently pleading him to take over the conversation. After all Magnus was the story-teller of them two of them. But Magnus ignored him. This was Alexander’s fault. He had wanted this so he could deal with it.

“Uh, eh, I did,” he finally stuttered. 

That was about as close as it got to the truth.

Isabelle let out a small cooing sound and Magnus realized that Alexander could have told her literally anything and she would have bought it. Her brother was right: She was desperate for romance. Willing to believe in true love and a happily ever after and suddenly realizing that one was in love with one’s best friend and getting engaged and then being together forever. She was so full of hope.

“I knew you would,” she gushed. “You were always the traditional type. You were also always the type to follow through with whatever decision you made. People never truly change… But enough of that. We have a wedding to plan! Don’t worry; I will help you with everything. Just maybe try to get a date in late summer? Or maybe autumn even! Of course that’s up to you but I just have so much to do in the morgue lately and I don’t think I’d have time to plan a big wedding on short notice. I do have a life of my own, you know?”

“Woah, Iz, step on the brake for a second. There’s really no need to make this such a big deal!” Alexander’s eyes practically screamed panic. He looked so helpless, trying to stop his sister from planning their wedding and at the same time not wanting to crush her dreams, so Magnus decided to step in. After all he had agreed to be a part of this. He sat down next to him. 

“What Alexander is trying to say, darling,” he said, reaching out for his best friend’s hand and taking it into his own, “is that there’s no need to be in such a rush. Of course we’d like to get married as soon as possible but we already know that we will be together for the rest of our lives. When we are going to make the vows is not of importance. We know we love each other. That is enough for now.”

Magnus’ heart must have been racing roughly 90 miles per hour while he declared The Biggest Lie There Ever Was. Again, he was avoiding Alexander’s gaze and instead kept his eyes fixated on Isabelle who looked like she was about to melt into a puddle of adoration.

“That is so sweet,” she whispered. Magnus risked a look at the man next to him and found him with an expression that could be described as gratitude. And then, as if acting out of a sudden urge, Alexander raised Magnus’ hand, that was still holding his, up to his mouth and pressed a small but lingering kiss onto it, taking Magnus by surprise. His breath shook a little and for a second it was hard for him to think but then he got a grip onto himself again. He gave Alexander what he hoped was a kind smile and then reached for the tea pot to have an excuse to withdraw his hand. He took his time with pouring the hot liquid into all three cups, having an excuse to keep himself busy. Usually he let it brew for longer to cure a hangover of that caliber but this would have to do.

“You’re right, of course,” Isabelle continued. “There’s no need to be in a hurry. But we will have an engagement party.”

Alexander opened his mouth to protest but his sister shushed him.

“I insist, Alec. Magnus, can I count on your help?”

Magnus looked up from his mug, thinking why the hell had he agreed to do this again and then remembering his ever-lasting crush on his best friend. “Sure. I always love a good party.” He winked at her and she smiled at him. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Alexander running a hand through his black hair in frustration.

After that the conversation turned into idle chat. Isabelle had decided that she would call Magnus when he had finished curing his hangover and was back on track and started to tell them about the latest gossip at work. Magnus noticed that she did not once mention Meliorn’s name, even though just yesterday that had been all she could talk about. Maybe Alexander was right and this whole play actually did help her. He hoped so. At least then he sacrificed his healthy heart and mind for something good.

Around an hour later she left because of a meet-up with Clary and as soon as the door closed behind her both men sighed in relief, losing the tense posture they had held.

“That,” Magnus began, “was actually not as bad as it could have been.”

Alexander snorted and then groaned, holding his head. “I think the aspirin is wearing off,” he murmured.

“Really? I think mine never truly kicked in. Come on, I’m making us breakfast.” 

Neither of them felt like they could eat a lot without vomiting but luckily Magnus’ taste for the finer things in life extended itself to food and so he always kept his fridge well-stocked.

He retrieved some brown bread and cheese and chopped a pair of tomatoes whilst Alexander set the table. They ate in comfortable silence until their stomachs had calmed down a bit and then Magnus went to make another pot of his special hangover-cure tea.

Whilst he waited for the water to boil he turned around to his best friend who still sat at the kitchen table. “And now?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Alexander answered, shrugging helplessly.

Magnus weighed their options for a second before giving up. “Do you want to do a friends marathon?”

“Hell yes.”

And just like that they were back on track. They settled down on the couch, each with a cup of tea in their hands. Alexander was buried in Magnus’ fluffiest blanket, as he always was when he stayed at his friend’s place and Magnus had his legs thrown over Alexander’s lap.

As always Magnus commentated every scene and as always Alexander half-heartedly shushed him but laughed at every witty remark Magnus did.

And soon Magnus forgot that he had ever been afraid things could get awkward between them. Alexander was his best friend and the person he trusted most in life. One night was not enough to ruin the bond they had.

After they were half-way through the first season though, Alexander paused the TV. Magnus had been expecting it and so he kept quiet, waiting for the other man to find the right words.

“We still need to talk about this, don’t we?”

“I presume so, Alexander,” Magnus acknowledged.

Alexander nodded but didn’t say anything else, so Magnus was the one to speak, again.

“I think you were right with keeping the actual circumstances of our relationship secret.”

The dark-haired man looked up, surprise written all over his face. “You do?”

“Yes. When we talked to Isabelle today I noticed a change to yesterday. You were right; it does help her to think that we are happily engaged. I wouldn’t want for her to lose hope in love,” Magnus confessed.

“For Izzy then?” Alexander raised his now empty mug, as if they were to speak a festive toast.

“For Izzy,” Magnus agreed, clinking his own empty mug against it.

 

-

 

Their next big challenge was once again announced by Isabelle, only two days later.

She had finally set a date for the engagement party: Next Friday. It seemed like, coincidentally, all of their friends were in town and free that night. For Alexander and Magnus that meant: rehearsal.

“Okay, so you were the one to propose to me, we already told Isabelle that much. Now the question is how did you do it?”

Alexander was lying on Magnus’ couch, his favorite fluffy blanket draped across him (though not big enough to cover him from his shoulder to his feet, which meant that he had to rub his socked toes against each other to keep them warm) and the Chairman curled up on top of him. Magnus was slowly pacing up and down the room like he always did when he had to organize his thoughts. In his hand he held a package of _Skittles_ out of which he tried to pick all the red ones with a concentrated frown upon his face.

“I don’t know. Traditional, I guess. Just going down on one knee and asking.” Magnus could see that Alexander tried to suppress a yawn. He’d had the night shift at the police department and thus not gotten enough sleep.

“Are you sure you want to do this now?” Magnus asked. “We still have time, maybe you should sleep a bit.”

“No, it’s okay,” Alexander reassured him, snuggling deeper into his blanket. “Oh, and Luke sends his congratulations. He says he’s very happy for us and that he expects an invitation to our wedding or else he’ll set me on the night shift for a month. “

Magnus laughed. “I hope you told him that he would be the first one on our guest list.”

“Something along those lines.” Alexander smirked.

“The people at my work have been going crazy as well. Of course Lydia was the most enthusiastic about it, albeit she naturally showed it in her rather discrete manner. But I can very well say that I have never been more popular around my fellow architecture colleagues. And that’s saying something because I have always been fairly popular around basically everyone, mind you, due to the fact that I am amazing.”

“No need to remind me. After all that’s why I proposed to you. Can you toss me the _Skittles_?” Magnus rolled his eyes but Alexander only grinned and winked at him, which would have been way sexier if he hadn’t looked like a giant fluffy burrito while doing so.

“Of course, darling. I don’t think there are any red ones left anyway.” He closed the package and threw it over to his friend who had freed his arms from the blanket to catch it.

Alexander snorted. “You are such a weird person. They all taste the same.” He shook his head while tugging his feet under the blanket.

“Out of all the things you have ever said to me that might very well be the most ignorant of them all. And that includes you referring to grey as ‘dark white’,” Magnus chastised him.

Alexander blushed. “Not everyone can know as much about colors as you do,” he murmured and sulkily opened the package.

“We’re not talking about azure or lilac, Alexander, although those colors are fairly well known as well. We’re talking about grey. It’s a common word.”

Rather than countering Alexander decided to toss some _Skittles_ into his mouth.

“We’re getting distracted again,” Magnus sighed. Defeated he lifted Alexander’s feet a little so he could slump down on his couch and lay his friend’s feet into his lap instead.

“Cold,” Alexander complained frowning.

“Sorry,” Magnus apologized when he saw that the blanket had slipped from the feet and carefully tucked it back in place.

“It will be fine, don’t worry,” Alexander tried to calm him, wiggling his toes in a lazy attempt to pet Magnus’ arm. “Let’s start again. I was the one to propose and I did it the traditional way. When did I do it?”

“Well, I would say we have two options,” Magnus pondered and absent-mindedly started to massage Alexander’s feet. “First option: We realized we were in love and you couldn’t wait and immediately went down on one knee. Second option: We realized we were in love, fucked like rabbits and after that you, drunken on after-sex endorphins and overwhelmed by my amazing bed-skills, immediately went down on one knee.”

Magnus laughed and ducked, trying to shield his head with his left arm as a handful of _Skittles_ flew his way. He laughed even more when he saw the adorable blush that had crept up on Alexander’s face.

“I don’t think I’d need to be high on endorphins to propose to you,” he muttered, still blushing from Magnus’ comment.

Magnus’ foolish heart beat faster at those words and he gently shook his head because his body should know better than to react that way. “Why, Alexander, I am utterly touched,” he teased instead and silently congratulated himself for sounding unaffected. Trying to keep a neutral face he added: “We also need to establish some touching rules.”

Alexander stopped mid-movement, his hand stuck in the _Skittles_ package, and raised an eyebrow. “Touching rules?” he repeated.

“Yes. The way we behave around each other is crucial for our plan. We need to be convincing,” Magnus explained. And he wanted to know if he would be allowed to kiss Alexander in front of their friends; a thought that equally scared and excited him. He had always wondered what it would be like to kiss the man but in his dreams it had always been because both of them had wanted to and not because they needed to convince their friends of their fake-engagement.

“Oh. Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Alexander admitted. Even though Magnus was well-trained in reading his best friend he found it hard to do so at that moment. He looked thoughtful, maybe.

“We could do things such as hand holding or putting one arm around the other one’s shoulder and so on. We never had personal space problems with each other and it would be weird to change that now.”

Alexander nodded. “What about kissing?” he asked.

Magnus cursed himself for not asking that when he had still had the chance. He’d hoped that Alexander would be answering that question for him. Well, now it was too late, so he tried to play it cool and shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think that we need to make out right in front of their eyes. They believed we were engaged when I drunk-tweeted even though we’re not even dating. They won’t look too critically. But if we somehow get forced into a situation then I’d be okay with a kiss. That is, as long as you are comfortable with it?”

Magnus deserved a fucking Oscar for not letting his voice shake or his hands tremble.

Sweet, innocent Alexander blushed of course but else remained unaffected. “No, it’s okay. No kissing unless Izzy traps us both under a mistletoe,” he confirmed, picking a green _Skittle_ out of the package and throwing it up into the air, catching it with his mouth. Magnus stared at his exposed throat when Alexander pushed his head back but quickly felt guilty for doing so and looked away again.

Rather than looking flustered though, he decided to put his flirty side back on.

“I’m afraid there aren’t any mistletoes left in January. But if you want an excuse to kiss me then you just have to ask, Alexander,” he purred. “I couldn’t blame you, seeing as my kissing-skills are quite remarkable.”

The only answer he got was the whole _Skittles_ package being thrown into his direction, the colorful sweets scattering everywhere. The Chairman meowed in protest and fled from the scenery.

“Hey!” Magnus complained, albeit laughing. “I’m pretty sure throwing things at your fiancé counts as domestic violence. I could report you!”

“Yeah?” Alexander growled, glaring at his friend but a teasing spark in his eyes and a small smile around his lips. “Go on and try then. I’m a cop. They’ll never find your body!”

And with those words he grasped the pillow he had been lying on and throwing that as well, missing Magnus’ head by a few inches.

“Oh, it’s on, Lightwood,” Magnus challenged and soon the two were up on their feet and deep into something that was more of a pillow war than an actual pillow fight.

Magnus won, of course, no matter how much Alexander insisted that it had ended in a truce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Leave me a comment!
> 
> Also, I have a [new](https://sheet-faced.tumblr.com/) [beta](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/) who is amazing and deserves all the love in the world. Thank you!! <3
> 
> You can find me on tumblr [@dontblinkamelia](https://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/).


	3. Fuck My Friend(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an engagement party and we'll discover how Malec first met.

In the end Isabelle had changed her mind and excluded Magnus from any party planning, saying that it was supposed to be a surprise for the newly engaged couple. Something that scared Magnus above all else since that meant he had no control over the extent of the party whatsoever.  
Alexander’s pleads to keep the party as small as possible were only met by her rolling her eyes at him and Magnus didn’t dare to interfere since there was nothing more suspicious than Magnus Bane asking for less drama and flair.

As far as he knew she had asked Jocelyn and Biscuit to help her and when he and Alexander received an invitation to their own party it said they should come to Jocelyn’s apartment, then a date and time. That was it.

Pushing their fears and worries aside, Magnus and Alexander decided to arrive together at the party as one would expect from two soon-to-be-wedded. Both their homes had more or less the same distance to Jocelyn’s, so they agreed that Alexander would pick Magnus up, who always needed longer to prepare himself.

The doorbell rang when Magnus had just perfected his overall appearance and was giving himself one last critical look in the mirror. He had settled on simple black slacks and shirt, the sleeves rolled up, matched with an equally black waistcoat that was decorated with golden floral embroidery. His jewelry was golden as well and consisted of an ear cuff on his right, a bracelet on his left and several rings. He’d been tempted to dye some streaks golden blonde but had decided against it. Playing with gold was a dangerous thing: Too much and it looked cheap. Instead he had made his make-up a little shinier than usual, painted himself smoky-eyes and added a thin line of golden eyeliner under his lower eyelid. He looked positively dashing.

With confident steps he made his way to the door and pressed the buzzer to let Alexander up. It barely took the man two minutes to make it to the fourth floor even though the elevator was broken, for a while now actually. But although Magnus always cursed this circumstance if he needed to carry up two bags full of groceries after a long day at work, he never called someone to fix it. He believed it kept him active whenever he slacked on his yoga routine again. Which happened more often than not.

When Alexander then stood at his door step Magnus didn’t waste any time and immediately went to hurry him inside.

“You look frozen to the core,” he accused him. “Did you walk here?”

Alexander nodded sheepishly and Magnus shot him a glare. His best friend was packed into a thick winter jacket and a beanie. And of course his white scarf which had a way too big resemblance with a bandage. But Isabelle had hand-made it for him when she'd been a teenager and he's worn it ever since. All of those things were covered in a thin layer of snow and ice. The tip of his nose was bright pink and his eyes a little watery. He stood there with his shoulders hunched up and his hands buried in his pockets, stepping from one foot to another to keep himself warm.

“You really should know better than that, Alexander. Let’s get you warmed up first.”

Magnus went to help the other man out of his jacket but Alexander took a step back. “No, let’s just get moving now. If I get warmed up then I won’t want to leave again and Izzy would kill me if I missed my own engagement party,” he explained.

Magnus rolled his eyes but obeyed, going for his coat instead and wrapping a warm scarf around his neck. He thought about putting on a cap or something similar to protect his ears but he’d rather suffer than destroy his hair.

“Let’s get moving then,” he said, grabbing his keys and wallet from the table next to the door. His phone he always had with him anyway. He quickly yelled a goodbye for the Chairman and then closed the door behind Alexander and him, making his way to meet their friends as fiancés.

 

-

 

“Are you ready?” Magnus asked, glancing at Alexander who was standing right next to him and looked at the front door like it was going to eat him alive. He looked more or less like Magnus felt, who had mostly asked the question to buy them some more time.

Alexander shrugged, which was answer enough.

“Me neither,” Magnus murmured and rang the bell. Before anyone could open the door, he grabbed Alexander’s hand, both to make them a more convincing couple and to steady himself. And also because he wanted to and there had to come some good out of this situation at least. Magnus was wearing a pair of gloves that he had kept in his coat pocket so he couldn’t feel whether his friend’s hands were warm or cold (probably the latter) but the firm grip helped to calm him a bit.

Biscuit opened the door with a big smile on her face.

“Hey, you’re here! Everyone else is already inside. Come in!” She ushered them into the warmth and closed the door to keep out the cold. Before either of them had the chance to get out of their jackets they were both met by a giant hug from a tiny red head.

“Congratulation, guys! I’m so happy for you!” she mumbled into Magnus’ scarf. Having somehow thrown one arm around Alec’s neck and the other around Magnus’ she pressed the two men together in her embrace. She was surprisingly strong fur such a short person but of course Magnus had always known that his Biscuit had more strength hidden inside her than most people would assume.

As the hug seemed to drag on Alexander awkwardly started to pat her back.

“Thanks, Clary. But you might want to let us go now because my neck is starting to hurt a little from bowing down,” he suggested but there was fondness in his voice. Magnus knew Alexander hadn’t liked Biscuit at the beginning. Only when she had started to date his brother and become best friends with his sister he had started to tolerate her. When he and Magnus had become best friends though, he was forced to spend a lot more time with the small red-head and eventually had grown to like her.

“Of course, sorry,” she giggled and immediately withdrew, though she still kept one hand on either shoulder of the men, looking up to them with a grin so big it took up half of her face. “I can’t believe I get to see this. You two, finally together. Engaged, even!” She made a sound like a tiny squeal. “I could just hug you again! But not now, the others are waiting and you need to get out of those jackets first,” she decided.

Alexander and Magnus obeyed and peeled themselves out of their layers of scarfs, beanies, jackets, coats and gloves. To no one’s surprise he could see that Alexander was dressed all in black. Still, Magnus had to appreciate that this time his clothes were not worn out as much as usual and that he had even put on a button-down shirt. Something that brought out his arms quite nicely. Not that Magnus would notice.

Biscuit led them to the living room where the action was happening and as soon as Magnus saw what was awaiting them he raised an eyebrow in surprise.

Isabelle had truly outdone herself.

All their friends were there. Cat, Raphael, Luke and Jocelyn, Hodge, Jace, Lydia and Maia, Isabelle, Shawn and Dot. Even Ragnor had come all the way from London; although he did warn Magnus that he had been planning a trip back for a while now. They all were scattered across the room but looked up when the three entered.

Alexander and Magnus were greeted with smiles, hugs and congrats. Even Raphael let himself down to give Magnus some sort of a hug and a pat on the shoulder, which had never happened before. He crossed the line when it came to Alexander though and settled with just shaking his hand; a solution both men were more than content with. While going through the masses of greetings and congratulations Magnus and Alexander exchanged a look every now and then, thinking exactly the same.

How were they ever going to tell them that everything was just faked?

Magnus tried to push those thoughts aside and concentrated on nodding, smiling and hugging back. Finally Isabelle clinked a tea spoon against a glass of champagne to get everyone’s attention.

“Okay, that’s enough! Give the couple some air to breathe. We’ve waited so long for this to happen; we can’t let them die now!” That earned some laughter here and there. “As you all know we are here to celebrate the engagement of my know-it-all, grumpy big brother and the wonderful Magnus Bane.”

“Try magnificent, darling!” Magnus chimed in, which sent a new wave of laughter through the room.

“Hush now, Magnus, or I’ll forget to be nice,” she warned him with a pointed glare that soon turned into a smile.

“Listen to the lady!” Jace called from the back of the room.

“You too, Mister!” Isabelle fired back. “Anyway,” she continued, “as I already said we’ve all been waiting for this for a very long time and each and everyone here is glad that you two finally found the courage to get your heads out of your asses. When you brought Simon, Clary and me to the club that night no one had expected the evening to go that way.”

Magnus exchanged a quick look with Alexander. He knew that they both were wondering if they would now be told at least a part of what had happened that night.

“Of course they were all over each other, as always. And as always it only got worse once they had a few glasses.” Magnus could see that all the guests were exchanging knowing glances and fond smiles.

Yes, Alexander and he both were rather clingy drunks, so much was true, and because they were together most times when drunk they tended to cling to each other. But Magnus had never thought of how that may look like to their friends. Now that he did though, he understood that it was easy to get confused.

“But this night it was especially bad, even before they really got drunk. So we all agreed on giving them some space, hoping that it might help. Simon called them a cab to get them home and we ordered them some water and told them to sober up.”

Now that he heard Isabelle telling the story, Magnus remembered. At least that part (sadly, no memories of the mind-blowing sex he most certainly had). He could recall Alexander and him getting into the cab and halfway deciding that they were not in the mood to go home any time soon, telling the driver to get them to the closest club. That explained why their friends hadn’t known it was a drunk-tweet. They thought the men had only been minorly buzzed and then sobered up in Magnus’ loft. They had no idea they had been getting hammered afterwards.

“And luckily it worked. I cannot tell you how happy I was when I saw that tweet. Well, for the most part I was shocked. Even though we all waited for you to get together, I think none of us expected you two to get engaged right away!”

Again, some chuckling in the crowd.

“But now, seeing you together… it all makes so much sense.”

Magnus shared a look with Alexander, both pained and amused. On Magnus part it was pained too not only because he knew that their friends would be mad and disappointed when the truth came out, but also because hearing Isabelle talking about them that way made him realize what he could never have. Alexander was his best friend, the person he trusted most in this world and the person he cared most for. And although he knew that the man cared for him platonically, he knew just as well that it would never transcend above that. But that was okay. As long as Magnus could have Alexander in his life, he would not complain about the way he had him. Having him at all was enough, as much as he wished for more.

Suddenly he had the urge to take a step towards his friend and lean against him. To seek comfort in the warmth and just a second later he realized with delight that now he could. As long as they were in the presence of people they knew, he would never have to be ashamed of touching Alexander or being close to him. It was all for the pretend, right?

And so he did what he wanted to do and leaned against Alexander, who instinctively wrapped a hand around his waist.

Isabelle and the others had watched their interaction that had not taken more than a few seconds and Isabelle now raised her glass of champagne towards them.

“Magnus, Alec, when I visited you the next day I was worried for a second that you would tell me that you’d changed your minds. I was worried that you two would be too afraid to see how perfect you are for each other because if you can’t make it then no one ever will.” She turned back to the others. “Now I’d like you all to take a glass from the table and speak a toast with me.”

They all willingly obeyed and soon everyone had a glass in their hand and was watching Isabelle expectantly.

“To Alec and Magnus and to finding out that sometimes your love is right next to you.”

“To Alec and Magnus,” everyone repeated.

They were in so much trouble.

 

-

 

“Oh, can you remember that one time when Alec walked around with glitter all over his clothes, like he just came out of a children’s craft course?” Jocelyn said, laughing into her glass of champagne.

They were all gathered around the small table in the living room. Alexander was sitting next to Magnus on the two-seater couch. Isabelle had seated herself on the arm rest, legs crossed and Sharon to her feet on the floor. Biscuit was sitting next to him, while Jace had claimed a kitchen chair and was lazily playing with his girlfriend’s hair. Raphael, Cat, Lydia, Maia, Hodge, Dot and Ragnor had also taken place on kitchen chairs that had been brought to the living room while Jocelyn and Luke had cuddled themselves together on the big armchair.

Alexander groaned and buried his face in his hands as the others broke out into laughter as well.

“Of course I remember,” Magnus smirked. “Poor Alexander had mixed up my XXL bottle of organic glitter glue with the detergent.”

“They look exactly the same!” Alexander defended himself, his ears red in embarrassment.

“Right, except for the big label that says ‘glitter’ in all caps,” Magnus teased him.

“I was in a hurry,” his friend mumbled, sulking. “And who keeps glitter in their bathroom anyway?”

“Ah, yes, I remember!” Luke commented. “Everyone at the precinct was convinced that you and Magnus had finally gotten a go at each other. We all made bets since when you were sleeping together but no one won because it turned out that your washing machine was broken and you were just looking for a place to do your laundry.”

“That’s enough embarrassing stories about me,” Alexander announced. “How come no one is giving Magnus any shit?”

“Honey, they would, but sadly I am impeccable.” Magnus sighed like he was carrying a heavy burden with that fact.

Ragnor snorted. “I beg to differ, my friend,” he argued. “May I remind you of Peru?”

Magnus’ eyes widened in horror. “That’s not fair! We’re telling stories about Alexander and me and that was before his time! And may I remind you of your promise to me? You said you’d never tell another soul about what happened there. Or else I could tell some interesting stories about you too…”

Ragnor took the hint. “My lips are sealed,” he swore and motioned locking his lips closed.

“Oh, but I have a story about you from Alec’s times!” Isabelle exclaimed, eyes lighting up with a mischievous glint.

Magnus eyed her warily. “You do?”

“Please tell,” Alexander begged her.

“It was when you two met for the first time.”

Magnus froze. He hadn’t thought about that day for some time now.

“It was how long ago?” she asked.

“Almost five years,” Cat reminded her.

“By the Angel, yes, almost five years ago. Incredible, how long you two managed to stay oblivious.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. If only they knew that he wasn’t being oblivious, there just was nothing there. Alexander, yes, that man was as oblivious as they got. Five years and he hadn’t noticed Magnus’ little crush yet. Though, Magnus always prided himself with how well he could hide it. Only that his friends weren’t fooled quite so easily.

“Anyway, almost five years ago then. Do you guys remember how Alec was back then? He was even worse than now. A stuck-up control freak and a stuttering virgin. Luckily, that’s not the case anymore, thanks to you, Magnus.”

She raised his glass to him and he raised his in answer.

“My pleasure, darling. Although I know for a fact that I had no part in him not being a virgin anymore, sadly.”

It had been Raj, Alexander’s first boyfriend. Magnus hated him. Not out of jealousy, he wasn’t a high school boy anymore. He just didn’t like him, end of story.

“I thought we were done with stories about me?” Alexander complained.

“I’m still coming to that, don’t worry. It was Alec’s twenty-first birthday and Jace had decided to celebrate it by hitting the club. Something that everyone except Alec enjoyed, of course.”

Some laughed at that.

“However, when we arrived someone else was already there.”

Isabelle obviously had a lot of fun telling the story, dragging it out and leaving a lot of dramatic pauses. Magnus shot Alexander a sideways glance to see how the man was reacting.

“Magnus was wasted, to say the least. Some of you were there, you may remember it. For those of you who don’t know: He was ready for pole dancing and karaoke. And we all know that Magnus is a shameless drunk who apparently had a thing for my brother.”

“No need to exaggerate, dear,” Magnus tried to tone it down.

“Aw, come one! You don’t have to be embarrassed! It’s all out in the open now.”

No, it wasn’t. But Magnus relaxed some when he could feel Alexander’s arm around him, stroking his shoulder with his thumb in a soothing rhythm.

“Now, when drunken Magnus spotted my dearest brother in the club not even his friends could stop him. Mr. Impeccable walked straight up to him, or at least as straight as he managed to do in his condition and said,” with the next words she tried to mimic his tone of voice, “’Excuse me but you’re the finest piece of ass I’ve seen so far and I’d like to climb you like a fucking tree.’”

Everyone was laughing now. Sam almost choked on his champagne and even Raphael seemed amused.

“I don’t even remember that,” Alexander chuckled. Magnus felt a pang of disappointment in his chest. Of course Alexander wouldn’t remember the first time they met. It didn’t matter that for Magnus it was one of the most life-changing moments he’s ever experienced. No biggie.

“Yes, I admit, that was embarrassing and I am not impeccable. Let’s move one,” Magnus hurried, eager to change the topic.

“What? No way, Magnus! I haven’t told the best part yet. Alec, of course, just stood there dumb-struck after this announcement. The poor guy hasn’t really been to any clubs and wasn’t used to drunk people hitting on him. Jace was no use, as always, because he was off in a corner, laughing his ass off.”

“Hey, what do you mean, always?” Jace looked alarmed but Isabelle shushed him.

“Only that Magnus wouldn’t shut up after that. I have to admit I can’t remember a lot of it because I was busy laughing myself but I do know that it involved some very creative pick-up lines. But that was not the best thing. Magnus then made a step towards Alec and when Alec took a step back Magnus stumbled and not only fell himself but managed to drag Alec with him. They both went to the ground so awkwardly that Magnus successfully sprained Alec’s wrist and knocked himself out. It was hilarious.”

The laughter increased. Magnus closed his eyes. Five long years he had tried to erase that moment from his memory but nothing so far. It was just not fair that he had to remember that night but not the one he spent with Alexander doing much more pleasant things.

“The rest of the birthday we spent in the hospital, end of story,” Isabelle concluded with a satisfied smirk on her lips.

Magnus opened his eyes again. “You spent the whole birthday in the hospital? I thought you only had a sprained wrist, did you have to wait so long for a doctor to take care of it?”

Alexander shrugged and shuffled in his seat, obviously uncomfortable. “No, not really,” he mumbled.

Jace grinned his best shit-eating grin. “The doctor came after an hour or so and the nurse patched him up in like ten minutes. We just stayed because Alec wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Magnus turned around to his best friend in surprise. “Is that true?”

Alexander squirmed but nodded in defeat, slowly withdrawing the arm he had lain around Magnus but Magnus didn’t let him. Instead he took Alexander’s other hand and intertwined their finger. Just because he could do it now.

“You never told me,” he uttered.

“Well, it’s, uh, it’s kind of embarrassing, don’t you think?” Alexander sounded almost apologetic. Again, Magnus was met with a wave of fondness for the man next to him. This was yet more proof for why Magnus had the biggest crush on him and why he never stood a chance. Magnus was smart and loud and beautiful but Alexander had a deep and genuine kindness within him, paired with sincere humbleness. It was such a rare gift to have.

“No, it’s not.” _It’s actually very sweet…_

Magnus would rather bite his tongue than to say those last words out loud. Pretending was fine but there was no way he could say these five little words without his voice revealing how sincere they were.

“Aw, you two are too cute,” Biscuit cooed and Magnus was grateful for the distraction.

He really needed to be more careful. If he wanted to pull off this fake engagement then he couldn’t let his real feelings get in the way. He needed to distance himself from it. It was just an act, nothing more.

Easy as pie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was it for now! Poor Magnus. I'm sure he'll be able to get over his crush and accept that this is all fake and then he'll find Camille and marry her and live happily ever after (*loud laughter*).
> 
> Just kidding.
> 
> Tell me in the comments how you liked it or message me on [tumblr](http://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/) where you can also find me if you want to cry about malec with me.
> 
> As always I update biweekly so the next one will be up on Monday, the 17th of July!
> 
> Special thanks to my wonderful beta whom I adore and cherish and who deserves all the love in the world. (Her [blog](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/), her [tumblr](https://sheet-faced.tumblr.com/))


	4. Fuck Wedding Traditions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignoring his own feelings is more difficult than anticipated.

There was something almost threatening about the pile of presents that lay on the couch table. At least that’s what Magnus felt whilst he sat on the couch in front of them with Alexander by his side. It was the ultimate proof of how deep they’d gotten themselves into this whole mess of lies (well, one lie, actually). It felt like the pile was silently judging them for taking advantage of their friends’ kindness and trustfulness. 

There was an expensive bottle of champagne from Lydia and Maia (“for your private celebration”) and a champagne cooler from Ragnor, Raphael and Cat (“we figured someone would probably gift you champagne, so we did the most logical thing”). Dot had knitted them both a pair of socks (“against cold feet”). Hodge had bought them a frame (“for your wedding picture”). Luke and Jocelyn had given them a stamp with their names and Magnus’ address engraved into it (“if you’re handwriting the address on every envelope for your invitations, your hands are going to hurt very soon”). And at last Isabelle, Jace, Biscuit and Sergio had gifted them a photo album that documented Magnus’ and Alexander’s journey from the beginning (“if you want to take a look back”).

The last present was Magnus’ favorite, although they hadn’t taken a good look into it yet. He thought it was an incredibly sweet idea and he appreciated the fact that is was covered in so much glitter that it was leaving traces all over Magnus’ apartment.

“They’re lovely gifts,” Alexander stated, expression blank, just staring at the pile.

“I agree, they are,” Magnus nodded.

“The champagne was probably very expensive, huh?”

“I guess.”

Alexander turned his head so that he could look at Magnus, who did the same. For some time they did nothing but just stare at each other.

“We can’t keep them, can we?” Alexander asked, without it being a question.

“No, we can’t,” Magnus agreed.

Alexander sighed. “It’s a pity, really. They are lovely gifts.” He got up. “I’m getting myself a glass of water, do you want something too?”

Magnus was just about to decline but then changed his mind. “Martini would be great, darling,” he answered instead and smiled a soft smile that Alexander mirrored.

“Of course.” 

Magnus watched him walk into the kitchen until his friend was out of sight. After another heartbeat he got up as well and started to collect all the presents to store them somewhere safe until they knew what to do with them. Not of all of them were returnable, for example the handmade gifts were not. He already felt bad because he knew their friends had put a lot of effort into them and it was for something that wasn’t even real. 

“You know,” came Alexander’s call from the kitchen, “I think we should cook something together today. We haven’t done that in a while.”

That was true. “That’s a wonderful idea, darling. Maybe take a look into the fridge to see if I have anything here that we could use up.”

He could faintly hear the fridge door being opened as he carefully placed the last gift into the bag. He picked up the bag (it was surprisingly heavy) and carried it into his wardrobe where he pushed it into the darkest corner where it should remain until they knew what to do with it. 

Then he made his way right to his kitchen where Alexander was currently searching through his cupboards. He had placed Magnus’ Martini on the counter and Magnus gratefully took it. 

“And? Anything we might be able to use? ” he asked, casually sipping his Martini.

“We could, uh, make some pasta, maybe? You also have some rice but barely any vegetables left. And I think your eggs have expired so we’d need to take a closer look at them to see if they’re still alright. But you definitely need to stock up some things soon. You’re almost out of bread and you’re lacking salt.” 

“Honey, with Raphael as your friend you’re never lacking any salt in your daily life,” Magnus commented with a smirk.

Alexander snorted. “Maybe we should go grocery shopping before we start cooking dinner.”

Magnus shrugged. “Sounds like a plan,” he agreed, sipping his martini.

 

-

 

Grocery shopping with Alexander was always the same. A never ending act of balance between tremendously annoying and exhausting and somehow just a lot of fun. This was mostly due to the fact that Magnus was an expert in all things food whilst Alexander just knew the basic things to sustain himself.

“What does it matter which oil we take? It’s just oil, Magnus,” Alexander argued, holding a bottle of olive oil in one hand and one of canola oil in the other.

“It matters to me. And you may not know this but you too will certainly taste the difference. Also, you cannot use canola oil for temperatures that high. It’s toxic,” Magnus explained, trying to remain patient. 

“It never killed me,” Alexander sulked, already knowing that he was defeated.

“That’s because most of your nutrition is provided by me, darling.” Magnus smirked and patted his friend’s arm. Alexander put the canola oil aside and the olive oil into the basket he was carrying at his arm. 

“Now,” Magnus continued, “why don’t you let me pick out the essentials and you walk through the candy section and get us some skittles and popcorn for the next movie night?”

Alexander frowned. “You know I’m not a kid anymore, right? You don’t have to pacify me with candy while you do all the adult stuff.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Alexander. The skittles are just as important as the rest of the groceries. Now, if you go and be a good boy then I might just let you pick out the movie tonight, even though it’s my turn.” He shot his friend a mischievous smile which he returned with an eye roll, battling off a smile of his own.

Alexander seemed to be about to give a witty reply but was cut off by a female voice calling their names. As they turned around they saw Isabelle walking down the aisle up to them, a plastic basket dangling around her arm and a bright smile on her face.

“Izzy! What are you doing here?” Alexander asked his face lighting up at the sight of his sister.

“Grocery shopping, duh! I was searching through some of Mom’s old cookbooks and found a recipe that I’d like to try out.” She presented them her basket where vegetables of all kinds were piled up. “I couldn’t find common flour though so I just took some cornmeal. It’s basically the same, right?”

Magnus felt a sudden wave of terror hitting him as an image of Isabelle standing in a kitchen where everything was on fire flashed before his eyes. Apparently Alexander had the same thought because he tried to make eye contact with Magnus. One look was enough and a silent agreement was made.

“That sounds wonderful! Alexander and I were about to cook some dinner tonight as well but if you’d like to join us we could try out your recipe!”

“No, please, I don’t want to intrude. I’m sure you two would like some time alone,” she declined with a wicked grin upon her face.

Alexander rolled his eyes. “Iz, Magnus and I can spend every second of our free time together. You won’t intrude.”

“Exactly. Also, we haven’t spent nearly enough time together lately and I miss my favorite fashion advisor,” Magnus jumped in for support. 

He could see Isabelle’s shoulders dropping in defeat and a big smile spreading on her lips. “Alright then. After all I can’t let the only person who still appreciates good fashion hanging.”

“Oh, you have no idea. The ignorance I had to endure,” Magnus sighed dramatically and shook his head in silent desperation.

Alexander frowned. “Hey, I’m not _that_ bad,” he tried to coin in.

“Do you remember that one time he called grey ‘dark white’?” she asked Magnus with a giggle, completely ignoring her brother who showed his offence in a great deal of eye-rolling.

“Please, the wound is still fresh.” Magnus covered his heart with his right hand which earned him a laugh from Isabelle.

“That was one time,” Alexander murmured under his breath but the other two ignored him.

 

-

 

Whilst Magnus had kept Isabelle distracted, Alexander had been raiding the store to find all the right ingredients, putting some of the ones Isabelle had chosen back. Knowing that neither of the Lightwoods had any talent for culinary things (although the brother was not as hopeless as his sister was) Magnus double-checked everything that Alexander had put into their basket. After he’d been satisfied they’d payed and went to Magnus’ loft where they had put Isabelle on film-choosing-duty. 

If the girl had noticed that they were doing anything to keep her away from the food she didn’t let it show. 

“What do you say _Princess Diaries_ or _Clueless_?” she asked from the living room, raising her voice slightly so that the men could hear her from the kitchen. 

“Both are good options,” Magnus pondered, slicing the paprika into stripes. “But you know I’m weak for Austen so I’d go with the latter.”

“They both belong to the same kind of movie genre. Can’t we watch something with a little more action?” Alexander argued. He lifted the lid from the pot to see if the water was already boiling and promptly burned his fingers. He hissed and went for the tab to let some cool water ease the pain. 

Magnus furrowed his eyebrows in worry. “Careful, darling. Never use your bare hands when you deal with hot things, always take a cloth. Unless you’re dealing with me in which case you should always use your bare hands and try to avoid any fabric between us.”

Alexander snorted. “I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”

“Don’t tell me you’re against Rom-Com movies, Alec. I know you enjoy them.” Isabelle had moved from the living room to the doorway to the kitchen.

Alexander shrugged, seemingly un-offended by claim. “I do. I just don’t feel like watching one right now.” He turned off the water and examined his fingers closely. When he thought the damage that had been done wasn’t too bad he picked up a cloth from the counter and lifted the lid from the pot. “Water is boiling,” he announced. 

Magnus nodded and got the potatoes, already peeled, which he gently let into the water. “Well, I’m okay with action. As long as it’s not just mindless shooting because that just stresses me out. Now, let me see your hand, Alexander.”

His friend obeyed, albeit reluctantly. “I’m fine, Magnus. It’s just a small burn.”

Magnus dismissed his words. “Let me be the judge of that.” He gently took Alexander’s hands in his to inspect it further. “You’re right; it’s just a small burn. It’ll pass. Until then you should get yourself a package of frozen peas out of the freezer.”

He had barely finished his sentence when Isabelle let out a horrified gasp that had both men startled. 

“What is it?” Alexander urged with his eyes widened in worry.

“You’re not wearing any rings!” she exclaimed and Magnus could see Alexander losing some of the tension in his posture when he realized it wasn’t anything serious.

“You’re engaged! You’re soon to be married! What does that even mean when you’re not wearing any rings? How are people supposed to know?” Isabelle did seem to think that the matter was more than serious. 

“Izzy, it’s not a big deal,” Alexander tried to calm her but Magnus already knew he’d chosen the exact wrong words.

“I’m sorry?” Isabelle had lowered her voice to something barely above a whisper and Magnus was yet again reminded of how scary she could be if she wanted to.

“What Alexander is trying to say,” Magnus chimed in, “is that it’s not important to us because we don’t need anything materialistic to remind us of the bond we have. We’ve made a promise that night and we’re going to keep it, no ring needed to make sure of that.”

Isabelle narrowed her eyes just slightly in suspicion but ultimately dropped the topic, satisfied with his answer.

Magnus exchanged a quick look with Alexander and saw his friend’s gratitude for the quick save. 

He felt the sudden urge to reach out to him, reassuring him that, no matter what, he’d stay at his side. Not only because he’d agreed to the whole thing and wanted to prove he was a man of his word but because he would never leave Alexander unless he asked him to do so. 

And a second later he remembered that he could reach out to him now. That was something he had to remind himself of constantly. With Isabelle watching every move he made towards his friend would be seen in a romantic context from her side. If Alexander would be confused by any unusual sign of affection then he could always use the façade they had to keep up as an excuse. 

Smiling faintly he reached out and took Alexander’s hand in his to give it a light squeeze. 

He could see his friend’s eyes widen oh-so slightly but else he didn’t show any other reaction and just squeezed back.

The gesture seemed to convince Isabelle though because the whole ring-dilemma was forgotten when she bit her lip like she was trying to repress an excited giggle. 

“Alright, you two lovebirds,” she said, “let’s get back to choosing a movie.”

They ultimately settled on _The Winter Soldier_ , which they watched while having dinner on Magnus’ couch. 

Since Isabelle had the next day off she stayed till late with them, drinking wine and chatting about everything and nothing. When she finally decided to leave, Magnus called her an Uber and asked Alexander if he wanted to leave with her. 

“I’m sure Alec would love to stay the night,” Isabelle purred, her cheeks reddened a bit by alcohol. 

“And I’m pretty sure that’s somewhere on my list of the top ten things I never wanted my sister to say,” Alexander commented, looking slightly disturbed by his sister’s attempt to hit on Magnus for her brother.

Magnus smirked. “I am surprised that you’re still put out by sexual comments. I would have thought that my unique charm would have thickened your skin.”

“That’s different. You’re not my baby sister,” argued. He still looked a little put out but Magnus only laughed.

“And thank God for that, my dear,” he said full of sweet wistfulness. 

Alexander had ended up staying the night but insisted on sleeping on the couch, saying he didn’t mind it being too small for him.

-

The next time Magnus saw Alexander was almost two weeks later. Magnus currently had a huge project going on and a problem had arisen that had required his full attention. He had worked every hour of the day on it which left little time for friends, even those who were also his fake fiancés. 

Unfortunately his lack of time didn’t stop him from scolding himself every time his mind drifted off to Alexander when he had one of his weak moments.

What had he been thinking when he’d taken his hand into his?

He was not supposed to let his whole engagement thing let him get carried away. He’d decided that it would be for the best if he ignored his own feelings. He knew Alexander didn’t feel the same and Magnus was pathetic and ridiculous for pining after the same man for almost five years. A man who had refused him time and time again above that. 

Whenever he would touch Alexander in public now it would only be to uphold their act not because he felt like doing it. Whenever he could feel himself getting too attached, too hopeful then he’d stop and withdraw. 

He would not let himself be destroyed over this. 

When Alexander climbed the stairs to Magnus’ apartment on a Friday it was this thought that Magnus kept in mind.

He thought about it whilst he greeted Alexander, whilst he poured the two of them drinks and whilst they seated themselves outside on the balcony.

It was already late and both had had dinner but Alexander had asked to see Magnus nonetheless after they barely had had any contact for the last two weeks. Magnus always turned his phone off when he was working on something important, as to not be distracted and when he had turned it on again he had mostly been too exhausted to send more than two texts before collapsing on his bed.

Seeing as it was just the beginning of February it was actually too cold to be sitting outside but the view from Magnus’ balcony was too good as not to miss when having a quiet evening with a glass of wine. So they tucked on their coats and brought some blankets outside with them.

“To us,” Magnus proposed, keeping in mind that it was all an act.

“To us,” Alexander agreed, letting his glass clink with Magnus’.

They both took a sip and then sat in quietude for a while, simply enjoying each other’s company.

“Magnus?”

Magnus hummed to show that he was listening.

“I was thinking about what Izzy said a couple weeks ago.”

Magnus furrowed his brows in confusion, turning his head into Alexander’s direction. His friend was looking down on his hands that he had joined in his lap. 

“She was talking about how we aren’t wearing any rings even though we’re engaged. And I know the whole engagement thing is just a fake but I think she’s right.” The words coming out of Alexander’s mouth were spoken low as if he wasn’t quite sure if he wanted Magnus to hear what he was saying but they were also clear and Magnus could see that Alexander was determined to say whatever he had to say.

“We never really said it out loud but doing this whole engagement thing with me takes more sacrifices from you than lying to all our friends. You can’t date anyone while we’re doing this whole thing.” Alexander was still not looking at him. “Of course you know that if you were to meet anyone important then I would call this whole thing off instantly. But I think you knew what you were walking into when you agreed on doing this with me and that’s why I think it wouldn’t do any harm to-” 

Alexander searched for something in his inner coat pocket with his right hand.

Magnus went tense. Yes, he’d known what he’d walked into when he’d agreed to this and no, it hadn’t mattered that he wasn’t able to date anyone else during that time because dating Alexander was the best fucking thing that could ever happen to him and he wouldn’t throw it away for anyone. Even if it was fake.

But now there was a growing suspicion in him as to what Alexander was searching for in his coat pocket and Magnus forced himself to remember that this was all an act. Nothing of this was real. It was all an act. Nothing was real. All was an act. Nothing was real. All was an act. Nothing was-

Alexander held a small velvet box in his hand.

Finally he met Magnus’ eye. He smiled a small, nervous smile and then he got up.

He put his glass of wine aside and, taking one deep breath, went down on one knee.

“Magnus Bane, I will forever be grateful that you are in my life. I don’t know any words to tell you how much it means to me that I can always count on you to be by my side. And honestly I don’t think there exist any words like that. 

“Will you do me the honor of accepting this ring?”

And it was then that Magnus committed the greatest sin of them all. He forgot it was an act.

He didn’t even look at the ring that was presented to him in. All he could see was Alexander. His mob of black hair combed but not styled, his pale skin almost glooming against the dark night, only illuminated by the moon and the light coming from Magnus’ apartment. He watched those beautiful hazel eyes looking at him openly and above that the dark brows that were often scrunched together but now did nothing but make his face look soft, despite the small scar that parted the right brow. And of course those pink lips that looked like they were made for kissing and that Alexander always wet with his tongue when he was nervous, just like he did right now. 

Magnus had never been more in love with him.

Slightly dizzy he nodded, not trusting his voice. He could see Alexander’s expression brighten.

“With this ring I thee pronounce my fiancé,” he declared and slipped the silver jewelry onto the ring finger of Magnus’ left hand. Only then Magnus took a look at the ring. It was a rather simple thing. A thin silver band with three stones set into it, the middle one being the biggest one of them. It looked like they were diamonds but that was hardly possible because that would have cost Alexander a fortune. It reminded Magnus of Alexander. It was simple without being plain and there was an undeniable beauty to it. Magnus also noticed that it would go well with most of the jewelry he already possessed. 

“Even if it is only for now.”

And those were the words that shattered everything. Magnus looked up from where he had been gazing at the ring that now felt like it was weighing down his hand. Alexander was yet again not meeting his eye. Instead he got up from where he had still been kneeling in front of his best friend and sat next to him again. 

Alexander was right, it was only for now. Magnus had agreed to do this until Isabelle had gotten over her break up. This ring came with a timer and as soon as that ran out the ring would disappear and eventually go to the hand of a more suitable bearer.

Just the thought made Magnus sick and his throat feel tight. He wasn’t yet ready to let Alexander go. It didn’t matter that he had been pining over him for almost five years now. He was already in so deep it would take him another ten to get out again.

Magnus knew if he tried to distance himself from Alexander it wouldn’t work. He would just end up exactly where he was right now, completely in love with the man next to him. And if he couldn’t distance himself from the man he loved there was only one thing left for him to do.

He would make Alexander fall for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Every time you leave kudos or a comment on a fic somewhere a fairy is being born. 
> 
> See you in two weeks, lovelies! Although it may be that, depending on the shift I have to work at my new workplace, the chapter will be delayed for one day. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it won't happen but if it does then you'll get the chap early the next day.
> 
> My beta is a beautiful, angelic being and I love her very much. ([Her tumblr](https://sheet-faced.tumblr.com/), [her blog](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/))
> 
> Come visit me on [tumblr](http://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/) to discuss headcanons, cry or just talk with me. xx


	5. Fuck Subtlety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus would make his best friend fall for him. And nothing interrupts the friend zone more than sexual attraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two weeks since the last chapter and the response has been amazing! I would like to thank all the people who left kudos. You guys really made my day. And a very special shout out to those who left comments because you are what still manages to make me smile when I fall into bed after I finished yet another ten hour shift.

Magnus was not an amateur in the art of seduction. He knew that in order to make Alexander fall for him he’d have to make the man notice him in a different light first. Nothing interrupts the friend zone more than sexual attraction. 

The usual flirting wouldn’t be enough though. Magnus had been flirting with him for years now and the man had remained dense. He had to step up his game.

He pushed his hair that was still damp from the shower he’d just taken out of his face and opened the doors to his closet that was actually more of a small room next to his bedroom. 

Spencer, Biscuit and Isabelle had invited Alexander and him to a round of pool at the Hunter’s Moon and Magnus had called Alexander to pick him up so that they could leave together. 

Alexander had told him that he would come as soon as his shift ended which gave them a time gap of a little over an hour. Plenty enough time to get ready and Magnus was in no rush to get dressed, although he already knew what he was going to wear. 

Magnus could hear Alexander ring the doorbell and went to press the buzzer and let him up before he returned to his closet. The door to his apartment was unlocked anyway.

“Magnus?” he soon heard Alexander’s voice coming from the hallway.

“I’m in here, darling!”

He could hear his friend’s steps getting closer but didn’t turn around to greet him. Instead he stayed focused on his clothes, pretending like he was still trying to choose the perfect outfit for a pool night. 

“Magnus, how many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn’t keep your door unlocked? You live in New York, you-”

Magnus smirked when he could pinpoint the exact second Alexander had entered the room and laid eyes on him. He let his smirk widen into a smile and turned around.

“Alexander! You’re early!” No, he wasn’t. He was on time, as always. “Sorry, I’m not quite ready yet. I’ve been working on some last minute changes for my current project.” No, he hadn’t. He’d taken the day off after having worked extra hours last week.

“Uh,” Alexander responded a little dumbstruck. Magnus heart purred in satisfaction when he saw his friend’s eyes wander over Magnus’ bare torso.

What a lucky coincidence that he’d been working out for the last hour. Well, it wasn’t actually a coincidence but that was of no importance.

“Are you alright?” he asked and shifted his weight to draw attention to his hips. It worked but Alexander’s eyes snapped up almost the second they’d been drawn down.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’ll – uh – I’ll wait outside for you.” With his thumb he pointed at the door behind him and took a few steps back without quite turning around.

“Okay. I won’t take long,” he promised and smiled.

Alexander nodded, turned on his heel and left. As soon as he was out of sight Magnus allowed himself one moment of triumph. His friend had clearly been interested.

Of course he shouldn’t be reading too much into this. Just because Alexander was able to recognize a nice chest it didn’t mean he was up for dating Magnus. But he knew the other man and he knew that he wouldn’t have been as flustered as he’d been if he hadn’t been genuinely attracted to Magnus that moment. 

Humming in delight he collected everything he’d chosen for the outfit he’d picked for today. He should have tried this sooner.

As soon as he made himself decent again he went to do his make-up. Alexander knew how to make himself at home and could be left alone for twenty minutes. 

Before leaving the room though the ring on his left hand caught his eye. After hesitating a few seconds he striped it off his finger and put it on the side of his sink. Tonight was not about pretending. 

Just like expected, when he returned Alexander was sitting on his couch, a mug of coffee on the table, his favorite blanket draped across him and a book in his hand. It was a familiar sight and one that made Magnus’ heart swell in affection for the other man. 

“I’m done,” he announced. “How do I look?”

Alexander tore his eyes from the page he was currently on to take in the sight that Magnus presented him with. His expression was unreadable as his eyes wandered from Magnus polished shoes over his skinny black jeans and his black button up shirt up to his face where he’d decided to go for a light make-up to not darken his overall look too much. Eventually Alexander nodded in approval.

“You look good.”

With Alexander that could mean that he was either just trying to be polite or he genuinely thought that Magnus was looking good. The man had never been great with big words.

He decided not to read too much into it, as he often seemed to do with Alexander at the moment. And in the end the other man hadn’t seen his outfit from behind yet so the ultimate reaction was still to wait for. He hadn’t chosen a plain black shirt, after all he was Magnus Bane. He just hoped Alexander would appreciate the back of the shirt being purely made out of lace and nothing more.

“Thank you, darling. Are you ready to go?”

 

-

 

The Hunter’s Moon was crowded like every Friday evening. Maia was standing at the bar, serving the customers that paid, and snarling at those who didn’t.

“How is my favorite bartender?” Magnus greeted her.

She raised an eyebrow in mockery. “That you still dare to show your face here. I haven’t seen you enter through these doors in forever, Magnus.”

“Oh, well, you know me. I’m a busy man,” he sighed with a false air of drama.

“Hello, Maia,” Alexander said his greetings from where he was standing behind Magnus.

Maia flashed him a smile. “Now, I guess I can’t blame you. Newly engaged people always have more important things to do than keeping up with old friends,” she joked, winking at them.

Magnus didn’t have to look around to know that Alexander was blushing right now. He could have kissed Maia for playing so fabulously into his plan. But maybe he’d spare his kisses for Alexander instead.

“On the house for my favorite customers,” she told them as she shoved their usual drinks over the counter into their direction. 

“Favorite customers?” Alexander asked with a frown. “Isn’t that title reserved for Lydia or Simon?”

“Nah, my girlfriend doesn’t drink so technically she’s not a customer and Simon doesn’t tip as graciously as you two,” she explained, only half-serious.

“Well then I’ll have to defend our throne and insist,” Magnus declared and laid a twenty dollar bill on the counter. “I can’t have us losing to dear Solomon.”

She rolled her eyes but took the money. “Sorry, I’d love to chat some more but work is calling.” She nodded to her left where a pile of impatient customers were starting to line up. “The others are already waiting for you.”

Magnus and Alexander thanked her, took their drinks and went to join their friends that were already mid-play.

Biscuit spotted them first. “Magnus! Alec!” She beamed at them and went to give both of them a hug.  
Seth kept standing where he was and gave them an awkward wave whilst Isabelle greeted them with a big grin, her hip leaning against the pool table.

“You ready to get your asses handed to you?” she taunted.

That was more than enough to stir Magnus ambition. He was not someone to back away from a challenge. 

“It’s on, sweetheart,” he fired back, shrugged out of his coat and carelessly threw it onto one of the chairs at his side. “Let’s see if you’re still that confident after we’re done with you,” he added and grabbed one of the cues. Only then he noticed that Alexander hadn’t followed him.

As he looked around he saw that his friend was still standing where he left him and hadn’t even gotten out of his jacket yet.

“Alexander? Is everything alright, darling?” 

The man seemed to snap out of something. “Huh? Oh, yeah.” He quickly got out of his outdoor clothes and hurried to grab a cue himself. 

They ended up separating themselves into two groups, Alexander playing with Isabelle and Magnus playing with Biscuit and Stanley, to keep it somehow even. Isabelle and Alexander were both excellent players, Biscuit could land a decent hit every now and then, Stan was terrible (“I’m not _that_ bad!”) and Magnus was brilliant, of course.

Usually Alexander was pretty big on the shit-talking during a play but it seemed as if today his head wasn’t quite in it. He was unusually quiet, leaving his sister with having to do all the shit-talking which was always countered by a quick-witted reply of Magnus’. But even those lost a lot of their heat as Magnus’ worry about Alexander grew bigger and bigger. 

It was only when they’d finished the first round (the Lightwoods had won by the width of a hair) and taken a short break that Magnus was alone with Alexander for a few seconds who finally opened his mouth again. 

“I didn’t realize your shirt had that…” he made some vague motion with his hand, “that see-through fabric.” 

“Lace?”

“Yeah.” He swallowed. “Looks good.” 

Magnus heart seemed to burn out of his chest. Because this time he knew with certainty that Alexander wasn’t just being polite. 

Trying to control his emotions and not let his giddiness show he merely managed a small smile.

“Hey, you’re ready for round two? Or are you tired already?” Isabelle challenged him and successfully destroyed the intimateness they’d shared for this short while.

Magnus turned around, his smile turning into a smirk. “Are you so eager to be dethroned already, princess?”

Isabelle laughed. “I’d like to see you try.”

Before Magnus went to make good on his promise he whispered a few last words to the man next to him: “Thank you, Alexander.” 

His friend nodded and turned back to the game.

 

-

 

The next game was again won by Isabelle’s team, and the one after that but the fourth one Magnus’ team decided was for themselves – mostly due to the fact that he’d told Stewart to not even try doing something right but just play it safe and minimize the harm done.

Alexander had warmed up a bit and made one or two snarky comments but he was still unusually quiet. Something his sister had noticed as well. After the fourth round she announced that she would get new drinks for everyone and declared that Magnus would help her carry everything, despite Shayn offering to do it. 

Magnus figured that she wanted to be alone with him and didn’t put up a fight. As it turned out he was right. As soon as they reached the bar, she confronted him.

“What is going on?” she asked with her left hand on her hip and a searching look in her eyes. Isabelle had always had an intense gaze that seemed to know more than you did, a sign of her confidence and her determination. A promise that even if she didn’t know what you did she would find out, no matter what. It was one of the reasons why he’d grown to like her so much.

Now though, he raised an eyebrow in confusion. “I can’t say I know what you’re talking about, my dear. You’ll have to be a little more specific.”

The bar was even busier than before and Maia was still caught up with other customers.

“Oh, c’mon. Something is going on, I can tell. My brother has been even more quiet than usual and you’ve been acting weird all evening,” she kept pushing.

Now Magnus was actually confused. “’Acting weird’?” he repeated, baffled. “How so?”

Isabelle rolled her eyes like he was being exceptionally slow right now. “You’re wearing a shirt whose back is purely made out of lace – amazing choice, by the way; you must tell me where you got it from – and your hips have gained an extra sway. Also I could bet you’ve bent over the pool table longer than necessary a few times and I can only imagine it is because you know how nice your ass shows off when you do that. Not to mention: You’re wearing all black. If I didn’t know any better then I’d guess you’re trying to seduce my brother.” 

Oh, so she’d noticed. Magnus felt slightly overrun by Isabelle’s thorough deduction and so his brain chose not to process the fact that Isabelle had noticed the game he was playing but to catch itself up on a detail she’d mentioned. 

Magnus frowned. “What does the color of my clothes have to do with that?” 

“It’s that thing you do,” she explained, smiling fondly. “The closer you and Alec get the more black you wear. The further away you get though the more colorful you get. Remember that big fight you had last year? You’ve never worn more colors in one week as back then, for as long as I’ve known you. But on your engagement party you wore almost exclusively black except for some golden accessory.” 

Magnus just stared at her dumbstruck and let the seconds pass by. “I never noticed,” he finally breathed awe-struck.

“No, but I did.” She shrugged with a self-satisfactory smile on her lips.

Did he actually wear more black when he felt closer to Alexander? It would make sense, somehow, trying to make them match when he felt like they were in sync or if he wanted to appeal to the other man more. Alexander almost always wore nothing but black so if he wanted them to match it was only natural that he chose the same color scheme. 

Still, he was impressed that Isabelle figured that out even though Magnus didn’t even notice it himself. It made him wonder what else he did that gave away his crush that he wasn’t aware of. He tried not to think too much about it.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you’d make yourself good in your brother’s job?” he asked Isabelle instead. 

Isabelle shrugged. “Many, but I don’t think the world is ready for a mind like mine yet. It’s better to keep me with the dead.” She winked at him and he attempted a half-hearted smile.

Just as it looked like she was about to say something else Magnus was yet again saved by Maia who always seemed to be playing in his favor today.

“Thank you, dearest,” Magnus told her when she presented them with a tray on which the drinks for their whole group stood. 

She just nodded, took the money Magnus offered her and immediately went back to serving the other customers. 

Eager to escape his conversation with Isabelle he picked up the tray and hurried back to the pool table. He hoped she wouldn’t speak about it while Alexander was close and maybe then she’d forget about it. 

Wishful thinking, he knew. Isabelle had a memory like a computer’s data base but at least he’d be safe for now. Later he could think of something to tell her.

For the next round they teamed up differently by Isabelle and Biscuit trading places. And this time Magnus was determined to make Alexander snap out of whatever little bubble he was currently in. 

“A pity, actually, that Isabelle is in my team now,” he sighed. “As long as she was in yours there was at least a bit of a challenge. Now this is going to be over in the blink of an eye…”

He could see Alexander’s eyes narrowing and an ambitious spark igniting in them, one he knew all too well and had grown to love and fear.

“Pretty sure of ourselves, aren’t we?” Alexander raised an eyebrow.

“I’m just being realistic. We all know you only won the first round because you had your sister backing you up. Now, though? Not much of a challenge left, I’m afraid.” He mildly shook his head in lament.

“Are you calling me a bad player?” Biscuit clinked herself into their conversation.

“Of course not,” Magnus cooed and smiled, trying to come off as patronizing as possible and knowing Biscuit hated it. “I’m just saying you don’t stand a chance against Isabelle and me.”

He could hear Isabelle laugh next to him as she applied some chalk to her cue and somewhere on his right Seamus said: “I’m on your team too, you know?” But he didn’t let it distract himself as he held eye contact with the tiny redhead that now seemed to be fuming. 

“Oh, it’s on, Bane,” she spat and Magnus smirked.

 

-

 

I turned out Isabelle and Biscuit switching teams was the best decision they had made this evening. Alexander’s brooding mood was forgotten and replaced by a competitive monster that fed off of Biscuit’s spiteful energy. And boy, she sure had a lot of that.

“How did you do that? That’s cheating!” Sheldon exclaimed after Alexander had nailed an especially tricky hit. 

“That’s not cheating, that’s called playing good. You should try it sometime,” Alexander deadpanned. 

Clary giggled but Sarah looked like he was about to stick his tongue out. Instead he just pushed back his glasses and stepped aside so that Alexander could make his second hit. Magnus thought that that was probably for the best if the boy wanted to keep the little that was still left of his dignity.

Alexander bent over the table, trying to find the right angle for his next hit. Magnus was standing behind him and already settled on enjoying the view when he had an epiphany.

This was why he’d been friend zoned in the first place. Alexander obviously didn’t catch up on all his pick-up lines (unless he was ignoring them on purpose – something Magnus didn’t want to think about) so it may be possible that Magnus was being too subtle. Who’d have thought that would ever happen? Surely not Ragnor. 

Anyway, he needed to take more action. 

Casually he slandered over to the table, and bent over a little, careful not to touch the table. He now had clear view on Alexander’s profile, up close and personal. 

“Whatever you do, just stay focused,” he purred. He could see Alexander’s eyebrows furrowing, trying to ignore Magnus presence and focusing on his actions instead. Magnus took that as an encouragement. He shuffled closer until he knew his breath hit Alexander’s neck. “Don’t let yourself be… “ he lowered his voice with every word until he only whispered the last one, “…distracted.” 

Alexander’s cue shot forward, hitting the ball at the complete wrong angle and sending it spiraling against the bend. 

Alexander cursed and Magnus stood up straight again, his smile full of sweet self-satisfaction. 

“Oh, that was bad luck.” He didn’t even try to hide his pride.

“That’s not fair! You distracted him!” Biscuit complained. 

Magnus feigned shock. “Biscuit! I’m hurt. You’d think I’d sink so low? I didn’t even touch him.” 

He could see her narrowing her eyes. “You didn’t have to.” 

“Are you suggesting that I used my flawless body and amazing sex appeal against my own fiancé by simply standing next to him?” He could see Alexander’s eyes snapping up to him that moment but ignored it. It was the first time Magnus had brought up the official label of their relationship out of his own accords in front of their friends. 

“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.” She crossed her arms.

Magnus smirked. “Then you’re exactly right,” he purred. He could hear Isabelle laugh in the background while Biscuit tried to glare at him but eventually failed.

“You’re impossible, you know that?” she accused him.

“It’s crossed my mind.” He shrugged. “Now, whose turn is it?” He already knew it was Sean’s and turned around to face him, making an inviting gesture with his hand into the direction of the pool table. “The stage is yours, Sigmund.” 

“You know, one would think that now that you’re about to get married you’d start to grow as a person and actually bother to learn my name but that’s never going to happen, is it?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I already know your name, Sandy. Now hurry, we don’t have all day,” Magnus mocked.

Sheen looked out and like he was about to protest but ultimately just moved to the pool table to make his hit. Magnus could already see from where he stood that he wouldn’t make it.

He was right.

His and Isabelle’s pool skills were usually more than enough to make up for Shae’s inability when playing against Biscuit and Alexander but Alexander played better than he usually did and Biscuit’s ambition had been stirred a bit too much, which Magnus almost regretted now. 

So it ended up being a battle for the black eight. 

“Truly astonishing. I must congratulate you for making it this far. It’s impressive, albeit a little suspicious maybe. One must wonder what it took to let you get this far,” Magnus pondered, eyeing Alexander warily.

The corners of Alexander’s mouth twitched. “Maybe you’re just not as impressive as you might think,” he teased. 

Magnus gasped. “I beg your pardon? I am every bit as impressive as I take myself to be, Alexander. Which is very.”

He could see his friend’s eyes twinkle in amusement and lost himself in it for a second until Isabelle’s voice snapped him out of it.

“Them having a shot at the win is certainly not the only thing being suspicious today,” she told him, keeping her voice low enough so that it was only for him to hear.

She shot him a meaningful look that reminded him of their conversation earlier. He forced himself to stay calm but didn’t know what to respond to her hint and so he just did what he could best: Distract.

“You’re right,” he whispered back. “Suspicious is also the way dear Saul seems to have more eyes for you than for the win.”

It had just been a joke, of course. It was pure coincidence that Salem had been looking into their direction at the moment. He’d expected Isabelle to laugh at his remark, take it as the joke it had been. But her reaction was quite unlike he’d expected.

Instead of laughing her gaze immediately snapped to Sahan. The boy, who’d actually been looking at them (just like Biscuit and Alexander had, since everyone was waiting for their team to make the next hit), was a little startled by the sudden attention but smiled at her out of what appeared to be a natural reflex. 

She smiled back.

Magnus brain went a hundred miles per hour. Since when was this a thing? He knew, of course, that Sander had had a thing for Alexander’s sister for a while now but up until this moment Magnus had always thought it had been a one-sided thing. Looked like he’d been mistaken.

He just hoped Isabelle wouldn’t use the poor boy as a rebound. Not that he’d ever admit that he liked the scrawny-looking nerd nor did he expect Isabelle to be the kind of person to do things like that but everyone had done some stupid things in their life and he didn’t think poor Siegfried could take it. 

“Well, then,” he announced. “I think I have a game to win.” He moved to the pool table to push their opponents back behind their boundaries with a well-placed hit. But before he could start choosing the right angle Alexander raised a hand to stop him.

“It’s not your turn,” Biscuit reminded him. “It’s Simon’s.”

Damn it. Magnus closed his eyes to collect his strength and when he opened them again he saw that Alexander and Biscuit seemed awfully smug about the whole situation. Magnus couldn’t blame them. Sven would most certainly miss and then it was Alexander’s turn and he’d win the game with ease. 

He turned to his team mates. “Isabelle, it was an honor to play with you, side by side. Silas,” Magnus squeezed his shoulder in something that could be interpreted as both a comradely and a threatening gesture, “Just don’t miss.”

Shane gulped and Magnus dropped his hand again.

Isabelle gave Skeet a soft poke with her elbow. 

“Breathe. I know you can do this.” She smiled in encouragement and he nodded, now looking a tad braver than before.

Again, Magnus wondered when this whole thing had started. 

Sherman moved to the pool table and bent down, trying to find the right angle for his hit. Magnus almost didn’t dare to look. He knew he’d have to endure Biscuit’s smug face for the next millennium when they lost. In retrospect, bragging about how they would surely win hadn’t been the best idea he’d had that day.

Suddenly, though, Isabelle stepped forward and positioned herself somewhere behind Skyler, guiding his arm until he found the right position.

“Relax,” she reminded him. “You’re going to be just fine. Try to use slightly more force than you usually do.”

Poor Skipper nodded eagerly and blushed as Isabelle stepped back to let him make his hit. As Magnus glanced upwards he could see her brother frown a little. Even he had noticed the change in their dynamics. 

Magnus had to admit that he was at least a tiny bit impressed. Isabelle had shown no hesitation in her actions towards Spenser. It seemed to be easy for her while for Magnus it was just so fucking hard.

Sabin’s cue shot forward, hit the black eight that went into motion and-

“No!” Biscuit cried out. “That can’t be! One hit! You missed all the others and this one you need to nail? Come on, Simon!”

“You had one job. Can’t even do that right,” Alexander agreed, shaking his head.

Seymour didn’t seem to care though. He had a giddy smile on his lips and a blush upon his cheeks and only his eyes betrayed his disbelief. 

“Oh my – Did you see that? That’s – wow. I mean, that was a good hit, right? The ball actually went into the right hole! That’s so cool! Guess I’m not that bad of a player after all, huh? That’s right, guys. We beat you! I bet now you regret ever making fun of my pool skills which are obviously superior to yours.”

“Shut up, Simon,” Alexander deadpanned and Schmuel did.

Isabelle ignored her brother. “I knew you could do it,” she said and winked. His blush deepened. 

“I didn’t think I’d ever say this to you but you did manage to surprise me,” Magnus admitted with a mocking smile. “Well done, Simon.”

Slater’s eyes widened. “Did- did you just call me Simon?”

Magnus frowned. “Don’t be ridiculous. Why would I do that? Of course I called you by your actual name, Simson.”

Isabelle and Biscuit laughed while Salim huffed in annoyance.

 

-

 

At some point in their evening Magnus had lost count of the games they’d played and the times his team had won. It was sometime around 1AM and whilst Magnus was still pretty much sober, Biscuit and Sydney were positively tipsy. 

“I’ll get them home,” Alexander announced, pointing at the two friends that giggled about some inside joke that Biscuit had made. 

“Are you sure?” Isabelle asked. “I can do it too if you want to spend the night at Magnus’.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Iz. Your flat is the furthest away from theirs and you have work tomorrow. I live close to them and tomorrow is my day off anyway. It’s no trouble,” he argued.

“No,” she insisted. “You two haven’t seen each other enough since your engagement. You should take the opportunity now that you two have the same day off. That doesn’t happen too often with your job, Alec. It’s not like I can do much damage at work; they’re all dead anyway. I can take the time to bring them home.”

Magnus could see Alexander’s frown deepen and as much as he’d love for the man to stay the night and surely didn’t want him to be forced to do so by his little sister. 

“Isabelle, dearest, Alexander is right; you should go home right away to get some sleep. He can take the car to my place later,” he persuaded her. 

She still seemed conflicted but eventually she gave in, apparently no longer able to counter with a convincing argument. 

Alexander poked Biscuit and Sasha to get them moving. 

“See you later, Magnus,” he called over his shoulder and Magnus nodded and watched him go.

“He didn’t kiss you goodbye,” Isabelle stated. 

_I know_.

Magnus wasn’t disappointed. Not really. Not more than usual. Of course there was the want, the urge, to kiss Alexander but that was an almost constant companion in his life, every time he was near him or thought about him. But he wasn’t disappointed that it hadn’t happened now. After all this time he didn’t want the first kiss they’d share – and remember – something forced and fake from his friend’s side. 

He smiled. “He doesn’t have to. He’ll kiss me hello when he returns.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta is magical and pets elephants in her free time. ([Her tumblr](sheet-faced.tumblr.com/), [her blog](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/))
> 
> Come visit me on [tumblr](http://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/) if you want to talk to me. I'd love to hear from you!
> 
> Next chapter is in two weeks where Magnus is going to meet some very special people and our saltiest friend will be making a visit. See you then! xx
> 
> (Comment to tell me what you liked or how you think I could improve my writing.)


	6. Fuck Being In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting your boyfriend's parents is always difficult. But what's even more difficult is meeting the parents of your best friend aka fake!fiancé whose parents happen to be minions of Satan.

Truth be told, Magnus should have seen it coming. Really, it was the next logical thing to happen to them and if Magnus hadn’t been busy thinking about how he could make Alexander fall in love with him he may have thought about it already. In this case though, there was nothing to prepare him for the horror that he felt when he looked at his phone and saw Alexander had texted him those fatal words:

_My parents want 2 meet u_

To say he almost dropped his phone in the middle of the subway was maybe a little extreme but he didn’t remain unaffected either. Unsure what to do now he stared at the little grey bubble as if its content would somehow magically change itself.

He had met Alexander’s parents before, occasionally. They’d never talked much though since Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood seemed to prefer judging Magnus from afar. But going from the conversations he’d already had with them it wasn’t like Magnus missed their talks.

The train arrived at the next station, the doors opened, people stepped out, people stepped in. Magnus kept staring.

Suddenly a new grey bubble appeared, with three dots in them. A few seconds later there was a new text, followed by two more. 

_Jace told them about the engagement_

_They want 2 invite us 2 dinner_

_Iz, Jace and Max will b there 2_

To be fair, meeting Max was intriguing. Throughout all these years he’d heard so much about the little rebel but had never had the opportunity to actually meet him. But he didn’t think he was ready to pay the price for the boy’s company.

He sighed. Maybe he was lucky and the dinner was at a date where he didn’t have time anyway so he could postpone it. It wouldn’t help him to avoid the whole event per se but every day that he didn’t have to spend with Alexander’s parents was a good day.

 _When is it?_ , he texted and held his breath when he saw Alexander was typing, silently praying for a date far, far away. Next year, maybe. 

_This Friday, 6 pm_

That was in two days.

_U free?_

Yes, he was. But two days was not enough. He needed more time.

_Not sure yet. I will message you as soon as I know_

A few seconds passed until Alexander texted him a simple ‘k’. 

With a sigh Magnus put his phone away. He was actually on his way home after having bought a new jacket after work that he’d had his eye on for a while. However, now he decided he had to get off two stations early and visit an old friend.

He needed advice.

 

-

 

“What are you doing here?” Raphael frowned and looked Magnus up and down. Then he leant forward to see if anyone had come with him.

“Where’s your boy toy?”

“It’s lovely to see you too, my dear.” Magnus smiled and stepped past the other man and into the apartment. “Thank you for inviting me in. Alexander is feeling good, how nice of you to ask.”

Raphael grunted and closed the door. 

“Don’t tell me you just came for a chat. I have to get ready for work in an hour.” Raphael worked at some fancy late night restaurant whose name Magnus always forgot. Probably something French. Most times that meant that Raphael had to get ready for work not long after Magnus had just finished his working day. 

For Raphael that worked just fine since he was not only a night owl by nature but it also gave him an excuse to avoid social interactions on a regular basis.

“Don’t worry, I’m not only here to enjoy your pleasant company. I need someone to talk to.”

Raphael frowned. “What about Cat?”

Magnus had considered calling her instead when he’d already been half on his way to Raphael. Cat was by all means more empathetic than the man but Raphael had a way of putting things into perspective in the most brutal but also clearest way. “She’s probably working. And Ragnor is in London-“

“Why don’t you skype him?”

“- where it’s currently the middle of the night.”

“Like that’s ever stopped you,” Raphael grumbled but signed for Magnus to take a seat while he walked into his kitchen, coming back with a bottle of wine and two glasses. He poured some of the dark red liquor into each glass and handed one of them to Magnus.

“Thank you, my dear.” Magnus took it but didn’t drink.

“So, what is it you want to talk about? Since you’re coming to me for advice instead of your boy toy I can only assume it’s somehow about him. I hope it’s unnecessary to remind you if it’s about your sex life, I don’t want to hear it.”

Magnus sighed and stared at the glass in his hand, gently swaying the liquid.

“He wants me to meet his parents.”

“And?” Raphael raised an eyebrow and took a sip.

“And? That’s a big deal!” Frustrated he set the glass back on the table. He felt a little sick and not like drinking at all.

Raphael narrowed his eyes and cocked his head a little to the side. “So what? You’re marrying this man, Magnus. What did you think that would mean? It’s two families being joined. True, in your case there is not much of a family left but that just means that you will be integrated into his. From now on every Christmas or any other significant holiday is probably going to be spent with those people. You need to get to know them sooner or later.”

Magnus huffed. “I do already know them. That’s the problem. We’re not exactly best friends.”

“Well, that sucks, amigo. But it’s what you chose.”

Of course that wasn’t actually what he’d chosen, was it? They weren’t engaged it was just an act. In a few months tops everything would be over. He had never made the agreement to spend any Christmas at the Lightwood’s house and certainly not to join their families so, really, nothing was forcing him to play nice to Satan’s minions, Robert and Maryse. 

Although, somehow Raphael’s words still applied. Magnus had chosen Alexander. He had not only fallen in love with him but clung to him like a drowning man to a lifeline, despite the impossible odds. And more so, he was trying everything in his power to make Alexander fall for him as well. 

Which was exactly why he was so afraid of this dinner.

“It’s just…” he took a deep breath, his voice lowering with every new word he spoke. “What if his parents disapprove of our… engagement.” Of them. “Alexander treasures his family above everything else. If they say no-“ It would be over before it even began.

Raphael looked at him like he’d just said something incredibly stupid. 

“Then I think you just have to trust that he loves you more than he loves his parents’ approval.”

 

-

 

Raphael kicked him out of his apartment shortly after, to get ready for work. 

Although their talk hadn’t offered him a solution to his problem it did help Magnus to soothe his nerves. Just admitting his fears out loud took some of the burden off of his shoulders.

He knew that although his fears weren’t exactly irrational the problem he was facing was unavoidable. If he wanted to be with Alexander then he’d have to get along with his family, somehow. 

What he was most afraid of was that it was too soon. Alexander wasn’t in love with him yet and if his parents disapproved of their relationship then making him fall for Magnus would get significantly more difficult. Not that it wasn’t difficult already. 

On the other hand though, if Magnus did well at that dinner then his chances would double, at least. And since they were both still pretending to be engaged it wasn’t like they could back out of a good old family gathering to show off the ring.

The ring.

Magnus gaze went down to his left hand where the silver jewel was sitting, shining and innocent. Magnus had stopped wearing any other rings at that hand as to not distract from it and every time he fell into deep thoughts he mindlessly looked at it for a bit. It was beautiful.

This whole engagement might not be real but faking it meant treating it like it was. 

Determined he pulled out his phone out of his pocket and sent a quick text before he could change his mind again.

_I’m free. Will you pick me up then?_

 

-

 

Alexander was already one minute and twenty seconds late and Magnus was starting to grow impatient. With utmost concentration he watched the hands on the clock distancing themselves from the point at which Alexander should have sent him a text or called, saying he was waiting outside. 

He started playing with his ring – a nervous habit he’d picked up. Although, it wasn’t even his ring, was it? It was a ring that had been given to him temporarily. Something that already felt like a part of him but that he soon would have to give up.

Almost two minutes now. Magnus started counting the seconds until the red hand on his clock would reach the twelve.

Five, four, three – 

His phone vibrated and a message from Alexander appeared on the screen.

_I’m outside_

Magnus practically jumped up from the couch and hurried to get his coat and wrap a scarf around his neck. He pocketed his phone, keys and wallet and then stopped to give himself one final look in the mirror. Just to calm his nerves he fixed his hair where it wasn’t necessary and took one last deep breath. He could do this.

As he was almost out of the door he remembered the bottle of wine he’d chosen as a sacrifice to persuade the angry gods. It was good wine and he hoped the gesture was appreciated. He’d hate to see good liquor go to waste.

Yelling a quick goodbye to the Chairman he closed the door and hurried the steps downstairs. He’d left the feline enough food for a week at least (just in case Magnus wouldn’t survive the evening).

When he stepped outside Alexander was standing right in front of him, leaning against his car and looking beautiful, despite wearing the white, bandage like-looking scarf Isabelle had made for him.

“Why didn’t you wait in the car? It’s freezing!” Magnus scolded him. 

Alexander just shrugged. “What’s that?” he asked instead of giving an answer and nodded at the bottle in Magnus’s hand. 

“Oh, that’s just a small gift for your parents. I thought it might set a friendly tone.”

“Don’t worry, you’re gonna do great.” He smiled and opened the door to the front seat for Magnus.

Magnus managed to return a tense smile himself and got into the car. He just hoped Alexander was right.

 

-

 

“Alec, it’s good to see you,” Maryse greeted them as she opened the door.

She didn’t appear to be too delighted by her son’s visit but there was no direct hostility in her expression either. She seemed to be waiting, indecisive yet.

Her gaze travelled to Magnus.

“And this must be your… boyfriend.”

“Fiancé,” Alexander corrected her without hesitation.

“Right. Come in.” She stepped aside to let them through and closed the door behind them.

Magnus offered her the bottle of wine he brought.

“I brought you a small gift as a thank you for your invitation. I hope you like Chardonnay.”

“Oh. How thoughtful of you. Thank you.” Maryse accepted it and looked around as if she didn’t know what to do with it. “I think I am going to dispose this in the kitchen for the moment.”

The moment she went away with the bottle Magnus felt a little lost, not having anything left to hold onto.

“Here, let me help you with your coat,” Alexander offered and gently nudged his arm. Magnus snapped out of this somewhat lonesome feeling and smiled. 

“Thank you, darling.” He shrugged the coat off his shoulders so that Alexander could slip it off his arms more easily.

Just as his friend hung the coat onto the hanger next to the door Isabelle walked into the room.

“Magnus, you came!” she cheered, walking straight up to him to give him a hug. 

“Of course I came, sweetheart. The way I understood this I’m the whole reason why we’re gathering in the first place.”

“Well, maybe we should gather in the dining room,” Alexander suggested and so they moved on after Isabelle greeted her brother as well.

Robert and Max were currently setting the table as they entered the room but as soon as Max spotted his big brother he set the last plate down and came running towards him.

“Alec!” 

Alexander kneeled down to get on the same height level as the boy and ruffled through his blonde hair.

“Hey, buddy. How’re you doing?”

Max grimaced and slapped the hand away, carefully combing it back to place with his fingers in a way that made Magnus smile in endearment.

“Is it true that you’re getting married?” Max jumped straight to the point. 

Alexander froze. “Uh, well, you know…” he stammered and Magnus could almost feel how reluctant the man was to lie to his brother but eventually he gave in. “Yes. Yes, it is.”

“Cool,” Max commented. He peered around Alexander to get a better look at Magnus. “Is that him?”

“Yes, that’s Magnus.”

Magnus crouched down as well to meet the boy at the same eye level. He extended his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Alexander has told me all about you.”

He could see Max’s brows furrowing in suspicion but slowly he took the hand that was offered to him and shook it once. 

It was Maryse’s sharp voice that interrupted them. “Dinner is ready. Take a seat.”

“What about Jace?” Max complained, his small face scrunched up in a deep frown. 

As Magnus looked around he saw that Jace was indeed the only one still missing.

“Dinner is served when it’s ready. If he’s not here then that’s his problem. He can’t expect everyone to wait for him.”

Almost the second she finished her sentence the doorbell rang. Max jumped up and ran to the door whilst Alexander and Magnus took their places at the table. Magnus took great care to seat himself at the edge of the table, Alexander to his right, no one to his left and Isabelle in front of him. Only did he not count with Maryse Lightwood.

“Alec, why don’t you and Magnus come sit between Robert and I? It’s impossible to have a proper conversation like that.”

Magnus was just about to come up with any excuse to avoid having to sit next them but Alexander had already gotten up from his chair and Magnus had no other choice but to follow. Just as they sat down again, Max led Jace by the hand into the room.

“Sorry I’m late, guys. Traffic was hell.” He waved into the round and Magnus greeted him with a smile.

“Don’t worry, Jace. You’re just in time.” Maryse ordered him to sit down with a wave of her hand and then demanded everyone’s plates so she could serve dinner. 

Magnus identified the food on his plate as Blanquette de Veau, a French veal ragout that he’d often eaten with Camille during their time in Paris. He had to admit Maryse was an excellent cook. It was delicious.

“So,” Robert begun a few minutes into dinner what Magnus had dreaded all day long. “What do you do for a living?”

“I’m an architect,” he told him. So far so good. Magnus had never been more grateful to be having such an innocent profession. 

“Really?” Robert seemed delighted. “I’m in construction myself. Well, more or less. I’m a real estate attorney. I haven’t lost one case in five years. That was, until recently. I was actually trying to secure the lot near Time Square for the building of a mall.”

Oh no.

“But some idiots insisted that it’s still part of Time Square and used that as an argument to snatch the lot away from me and build a theatre there.”

_No._

He laughed at his own joke. “But that just shows that you can’t always win. What about you? Have you ever done any important projects?

Usually Magnus would tell the other man that all projects were important but this was no usual circumstance.

“I’ve mostly done small things. Nothing worth mentioning,” he tried to avoid a direct answer and took another bite.

“What about your current project?” Jace chimed in, helpful as ever. “Lydia told me all about it. She said it was a real struggle to get you the lot because you’re still so young and it’s a big project. She also said you’re gonna crush it.” He smirked.

“A big project?” Robert asked. “What is it?”

Now he might as well just say it. “I’m, uh, constructing the theatre on the lot in Time Square.”

Awkward silence filled the room as everyone stopped eating. Even Max who, Magnus was sure, hadn’t been listening to their conversation but was simply picking up on the overall change of mood.

“Oh. Well then I think congratulations are in order,” Robert stated expressionless.

“Thank you, Sir.” Magnus smiled a tense smile.

“Are you also on construction sites?” Max jumped in and Magnus was glad for the change of topic.

“Yes. I accompany the project from start to finish.”

“Have you ever seen someone lose their thumb?”

“Max!” Maryse chastised her son. Magnus raised both eyebrows but the corners of his mouth twitched in amusement.

“Their thumb?” he checked whether he heard the boy correctly.

“James Kelly said it happens all the time on sites when people don’t watch out.” His eyes were widened in what seemed to be a mixture of excitement and awe.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint. I’ve never seen anyone lose their thumb, regardless of where.”

“I knew it was a lie…” the boy murmured, his brows furrowing whilst he stabbed his fork into his food and then proceeded to nibble on the impaled piece of veal.

“But your friend James is not wrong either,” Magnus continued. “You have to be very careful on construction sites or else you can get injured.”

Max nodded with a serious expression upon his face, as if he’d try to remember the warning, were he to ever visit a construction site. Then he moved on to Alexander. “Alec’s seen plenty of murdered people at work. Right, Alec?”

The man almost dropped his cutlery into his ragout. Magnus chuckled.

“Max, that’s enough,” Maryse tried again but Alexander ignored her and answered anyway.

“Luckily not. But yes, sometimes it does happen that we find a corpse.” Magnus could see that the thought alone immediately darkened his mood but he kept a straight face and his tone was professional.

Isabelle had less quarrels with the topic. Grinning she leant forward and said: “I get to see dead people all the time.”

Max’ eyes lit up with excitement.

“That’s so cool,” he whispered in awe.

“Isabelle, don’t encourage him. Maxwell, I told you, it’s enough.” Maryse words were final and dinner was finished in almost complete silence after that, except for a polite question here and there that wasn’t enough to spark a proper conversation.

At some point though, they moved on to the dessert. 

“What about your parents?” Maryse started another try at small talk. “Now that you and my son seem to be determined to stay in a lasting relationship, I would like to meet your mother. I’m sure we would get along well.”

Magnus tensed up. Family wasn’t one of his favorite topics and although Maryse couldn’t possibly know any better he suddenly felt the urge to snap at her and end the conversation before she could pry deeper.

Instead he took a deep breath and tried to compose himself.

“I don’t doubt that but I’m afraid that won’t be possible. My mother died when I was still a child.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. What about your father?”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“He abandoned me. I grew up in an orphanage.”

Maryse didn’t bat an eye. “Did you ever try to find him?”

Carefully he laid his spoon aside. The crème brûlée suddenly tasted bitter in his mouth.

“I don’t have the habit of chasing after people who don’t want me,” he said whilst sitting at a dinner table with the parents of the man he loved only to try and make said man fall in love with him too after already having been rejected by him. And also doing a more than mediocre job with it.

Magnus felt like the worst kind of hypocrite.

Only, a voice in his head told him that this was different. Alexander had never abandoned him. He may not love him but he did want him. As a friend, that is.

“I think you should. Whatever he did, he’s your family. Blood is thicker than water.”

Magnus froze, his eyes locked with hers. He didn’t know what to say or do. He’d walked into the room knowing that this was a play of pretend and an attempt to make a good impression. From the start he’d chosen the words and actions that fit into this pattern, regardless of whether he felt like saying them. Now he no longer knew what the best course of action was and he was left with nothing but a blank expression.

Next to him, though, Alexander almost growled with anger. “Mother, I think that’s Magnus’s choice and his choice alone. He has valid reasons not to look for his father and it’s not your job to meddle in his private life.”

“Don’t talk to your mother like that,” Robert disciplined his son.

“I won’t if she stops talking to Magnus like that,” Alexander fired back.

“Enough.” Although Maryse hadn’t raised her voice she still managed to demand silence, just like she’d done before. “Both of you. We arranged this dinner to get to know the man at Alec’s side and I won’t let this end in a shouting match. I apologize to Magnus. I fear I may have overstepped my boundaries without me realizing.”

Her whole posture was tense but her tone of voice carried a kind of casualty that forbid any sincerity to her words. Still, Magnus acknowledged that she was making an effort. He nodded.

“Apology accepted,” he agreed to the truce, not meaning it either but also not wanting to fight.

The silence that followed was icier than the awkward silence from before and really, it was no wonder that everything ultimately escalated.

Dessert was finished and they had moved from the dining table into the living room to get some drinks. Magnus shared one couch with Alexander and Isabelle, Robert and Maryse took the couch opposite to theirs (although Robert was currently standing to hand out the drinks) and Jace had claimed an armchair to the side. Max had been excused from their round and sent to bed.

What triggered the disaster was that Magnus accepted his drink from Robert and therefore raised his left hand practically to Isabelle’s eye level. There was no way she could have overseen it.

“You’re wearing a ring!” she exclaimed.

Magnus felt like a deer trapped in head lights but he let Isabelle grab his hand and examine the jewelry further.

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” she cooed. “I never knew you had such good taste, Alec.”

Jace had leaned a bit forward to take a look himself. 

“Well done, big bro.” He nodded in approval.

Magnus allowed himself a smile. Of course it wasn’t his ring but he couldn’t help but feel proud of Alexander. The ring really was beautiful and he was glad that others could see that as well.

“Yes, it truly is beautiful,” Maryse stated. Her gaze was fixed on the ring on his left hand but her expression was unreadable to Magnus. Less so to her children who all exchanged worried glances.

“Alec, may I have a word with you?”

Alexander frowned, immediately growing wary. “Why?”

“There’s a matter that I would like to discuss with you in private.”

“Whatever it is you can say it in front of us as well,” Isabelle argued. Magnus didn’t know if that was wise but he didn’t know the Lightwood ways as well as she did. Alexander didn’t say anything which his mother interpreted as a silent agreement to his sister’s words.

“Very well then. How dare you.”

“Excuse me?” Alexander raised an eyebrow.

“You know exactly what I’m referring to. My mother’s ring?”

“You gave it to me.”

“Yes, to give it to the person you’d like to marry someday.”

“Which I did.” Magnus heart skipped a beat. “Or is this about the fact that I’m giving it to a man? Because when you gave it to me you told me to give it to the _girl_ I’d like to marry some day?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. This has nothing to do with your… sexual preferences.”

“What then?” Alexander wasn’t shouting but he’d raised his voice, anger sparking in his eyes.

Robert interfered, his voice calm but insistent, as if he was trying to lecture a child. “Alec, your mother and I really tried to be supportive but you’re not making it easy for us. This is not about the gender of your partner but more about the circumstances of your liaison.”

“The circumstances,” Alec echoed. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Maryse snapped. “You’re not going to marry _him_ , Alec. Don’t be ridiculous. From what I’ve heard you weren’t even in a romantic relationship with him before and suddenly you’re engaged? This is nothing more than a phase. You two have nothing in common. You come from completely different worlds. This isn’t going to work.”

Although Maryse talked like Magnus wasn’t even in the room the words hit him like she had spat them into his face. They embodied everything he feared. All his doubt about whether or not this could work out.

How he wished Alexander would just say something, do something, anything. 

But he didn’t.

Because there was no reason to be upset or even angry about anything other than how rude his mother was being. She hadn’t attacked anything real. 

Still, she went on. “I can deal with that. I can play along and make conversation with whoever you bring home and not speak about the matter again after everything is over. Your father and I were trying to be patient but you simply cannot resist but go too far. Bringing someone like him home and saying he’s your fiancé is one thing. Letting him wear my mother’s ring… this is too much.”

Alexander didn’t move a muscle beside him. Didn’t make a sound.

Magnus suddenly felt the urge to stripe off the ring or at least cover it but Isabelle held his hand in a firm grip. 

As the seconds passed by it became clear that Alexander wasn’t going to say anything. 

“Well, I think that’s bullshit,” Jace finally broke the silence. “You gave it to him so he could give it to the person he wants to marry someday. He chose Magnus. Period.”

“Jace is right,” Isabelle backed him up. “Whether or not that works out is not for you to decide. I think we should go now.”

She stood up and turned to leave, pulling Magnus with her by his hand. He looked around to see if Alexander would be coming as well.

The man was leaning forward, staring at his hands with his shoulders hunched up. Magnus freed his hand from Isabelle’s.

“Alexander?”

He didn’t react at first but then, slowly, he stood up. Without looking anyone in the eye he placed one hand on the small of Magnus’s back and guided him towards the exit, not saying a word.

 

-

 

The ride to Magnus’s apartment was silent. Magnus was starting to grow sick of all this silence. He should have known this was an awful idea. He should have said no. But between all the frustrations he felt because of himself he could also feel anger fueling inside him because of Alexander. 

Why hadn’t he said anything?

It didn’t matter that Maryse was right about them not going to work in a romantic relationship. Yes, Magnus was hurt and sad because of that but although Alexander might agree with his mother on that matter it didn’t change the fact that she’d treated Magnus like garbage.

She’d talked to him like he was inferior filth, nothing but a rebellious phase of her eldest. Engaged or not, Alexander was his best friend and Magnus had expected the other man to stand up for his friends, foolishly so as it appeared.

But what made him most mad wasn’t even that Alexander hadn’t told her off for not standing up for Magnus but that the other man hadn’t stood up for himself. And somehow the fact that this bothered him more than having been treated like filth made him mad at himself.

When Alexander eventually parked in front of Magnus’s place Magnus was practically fuming. And it was then that his friend finally decided to open his mouth.

“Magnus, I’m sorry.”

Not good enough. 

“I- I shouldn’t have brought you.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow but refrained from looking at Alexander, instead focusing on the glove compartment. “Oh, so that’s what you’re sorry about? I understand.”

“No, it’s not- God.” He huffed, obviously annoyed. 

Magnus’s anger grew at that. He had every right to be sulking whilst Alexander had no right to be annoyed by him. Magnus had tried everything to show his best side, always avoiding any discussion and shutting his mouth when he would have liked to make his opinion clear.

He took off his seat belt, determined to leave but Alexander grabbed his arm to keep him in place. Magnus glared daggers at him and Alexander pulled his hand back as if he’d burned himself.

“I’m sorry for what they said,” he tried a new attempt. “You deserve better.”

“I don’t care about what they said. I care about what you did. Or rather what you didn’t do. What happened? You simply sat there without saying a word to defend yourself.

“I’m not surprised that your parents talked to me like that. The whole evening I waited for it to happen, to be completely honest with you. But I’m surprised that you remained passive. Not only because they acted like they’re better than me but because they acted as if they knew better than you.”

“They’re my parents-“

“It’s your life, Alec! Only you get to decide what you do with it and when you do you should have the guts to show pride in the decisions you’ve made.”

Without giving Alexander a chance to say anything else Magnus opened the door and stepped out.

 

-

 

As soon as Magnus walked into his apartment he kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his coat, both of which he just left in some corner on his floor. Without hesitation he walked straight to his liquor cabinet.

He poured himself one glass of Whiskey, added some ice, took a sip and then sat in his armchair. This whole evening had been a disaster. His plans to make the Lightwood parents like, or at least tolerate, him had failed most spectacularly and given him a huge disadvantage in his lousy attempt to woo Alexander.

Not to mention that it had led to him and Alexander fighting which was the last thing that he’d wanted.

He thought about what Raphael had told him. _You just have to trust that he loves you more than he loves his parents’ approval._

Raphael had served him the answer on a silver platter even before the dinner. Magnus knew that Alexander didn’t love him, not in that way at least. Had he actually thought he could compete with Alexander’s parents? His family? The thing he treasured more than anything?

Maybe Ragnor was right and he did have a bad case of hubris.

He took another sip. He’d already drank a few glasses, trying to think about literally anything else than the last few hours, when his doorbell rang.

He frowned, grabbing his phone and checking the time. It was way after midnight, too late to receive any visitors.

Unless…

No. Alexander wouldn’t drive to Magnus’s apartment in the middle of the night only to apologize. This wasn’t some kind of B list romance movie. Probably just some drunken kids playing doorbell pranks. 

It rang again.

But what if it was Alexander?

Magnus shook his head. It wasn’t. And even if it was then he could rot outside. Magnus was still mad at him.

The doorbell rang again, this time continuously. It must be him. No longer able to ignore it Magnus got up and pressed the buzzer. He didn’t bother to wait until Alexander climbed the stairs and returned to his armchair again, where his glass of Whiskey awaited him. The door was open anyway.

A minute later he heard his front door being opened and shut again.

“If you’ve come to apologize I’ll let you know that I’m not in the mood,” Magnus announced, raising his voice slightly so that Alexander could hear him.

“I’ll let you know that I would never apologize to you, out of sheer principle,” someone responded. It was a man’s voice but it wasn’t Alexander.

Surprised Magnus looked up from his glass only to see Raphael standing in front of him, a box carrying the logo of the restaurant he worked at in his hand.

“I’ve already eaten,” Magnus told him, eyeing the box. 

“Good. I wouldn’t want to share, I’m starving.” He turned around and walked into the kitchen where he maneuvered for a while before returning with a plate and some cutlery. He let himself drop onto the couch in front of Magnus and began eating.

“How many glasses have you had?” Raphael nodded at the golden liquor in his hand.

Magnus shrugged. “Not many.”

He could see his friend’s eyes darting towards the bottle next to him. Magnus followed his gaze and was surprised to see that three quarters of the bottle had disappeared. He hadn’t noticed how much he’d been drinking. 

“Was that bottle full when you started?”

Yes. “I don’t remember.” He put the glass aside. “What are you doing here? In the middle of the night, may I add.”

Raphael took another bite. “I just finished my shift. I passed your apartment on my way home and saw that the lights were still on. I thought you might need company and were too stubborn to ask for it.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. He wasn’t stubborn. “I could have been with Alexander,” he reminded him.

Raphael shook his head. “His apartment is closer to the Lightwood mansion than yours. If you were with him you’d be at his.”

Magnus raised both eyebrows in surprise. “How do you know? Where the Lightwood mansion is, I mean. Not the other part.”

“You texted me their address so I could hand it to the police in case you wouldn’t return.”

Oh, right. He remembered.

“So, what happened?” his friend asked.

Magnus hid his face behind his glass, avoiding any eye contact. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, you never do.” He grabbed the glass from Magnus and took a sip himself. Magnus pouted but didn’t protest and simply got up to get a second one. No one would forbid him to drink as long as he was in his own apartment.

“Alexander and I fought,” he finally admitted

“So it wasn’t the devil parents?”

“No. Yes. Partly. Does it matter?”

“If it matters to you.”

“Maryse freaked when she saw that Alexander had given me her mother’s ring. She said some ugly things and Alexander didn’t protest,” Magnus summarized things for him.

Raphael nodded and waited for him to elaborate. Magnus sighed.

“And I may be a little hurt because a lot of what she said is true.”

“And that would be?”

“Alexander and I are two completely different people coming from two completely different worlds and chances are that this is not going to last.”

Raphael raised an eyebrow. “It lasted for five years.”

Magnus rolled his eyes at him. Again. “As friends. That’s something completely different.”

“Maybe. But you’ve never been just friends, have you? You and your boy toy were already married before you got engaged. Listen, I’m not going to give you love advice because if you want that then you have to go and ask Cat but whether you’re having doubts about getting married or you’re just pissed that Alexander didn’t step up for your relationship I think what you really just have to accept is that you’re in love with this man.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “I know I am.”

“Do you? Because to me it seems like you’re constantly worrying. You worry that his parents won’t like you or that he won’t like your clothes…”

“Excuse me? My fashion taste is impeccable and I happen to know that.”

“Dot texted me last week to tell me that you asked her if she thought you were wearing too much black since your engagement.”

“That was just to check something; it had nothing to do with-“

“The point is,” Raphael cut him off, “that the Magnus Bane I know takes pride in his feelings and the choices he makes. I’m not saying you’re above doubt but I’m saying that you’re worrying far more than you usually do. 

Maybe Raphael was right and he did worry more than usual. But that wasn’t because he couldn’t admit his love for his best friend but because he knew that his best friend didn’t feel the same and that he desperately tried to change that without ruining their relationship forever. So yes, maybe Magnus worried a little more than usual but as far as he was concerned he had more than valid reasons to do so. After all he was under a teeny bit of pressure here.

“I may not be an expert in that matter but I guess running from friendship into engagement from one moment to another could come with some doubts as to whether or not that will work out. But I think if you’d just accept that you’re in love with Alec, and that this won’t change any time soon, you’ll realize that you will work it all out. There’s no shame in loving, my friend.”

Magnus didn’t know what to answer. Was he ashamed of being in love with Alexander? Maybe. He’d kept this secret for more than five years now, buried it under hundreds of layers of denial. He’d never said it out loud.

Of course he’d complained to his friends about how much he was pining after Alexander and how little the other man was noticing him and how he had no chance with him after having been refused already. He’d done it enough that his friends had started to groan whenever he’d even so much than mentioned his name. But after a while he’d stopped. Resented. Realized that there was no point in whining because life would move on and so must he. 

That was until now.

The more Magnus thought about it the more he realized that Raphael was right. He’d forbidden himself to say those words out loud for so long that he now was afraid to do so.

He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes for a while. When he opened them he met Raphael’s gaze and held it.

“I’m in love with Alexander.”

It didn’t feel like a grand change, nor was a weight lifted off his chest or anything else. On the contrary, he could feel his heart beating louder and quicker than before, like he just completed a physically exhausting task.

“There you go. Now, are you going to forgive him or will you call off the wedding?”

Magnus sighed. What wedding? “Of course I’m going to forgive him. But first I will stay mad at him for a little longer,” he concluded and finished his glass.

This time though he didn’t refill it.

 

-

 

Magnus woke up with a slight hangover the next day. It wasn’t even half as bad as his last one, only a slight headache. But seeing as he didn’t have to work that day he used it as an excuse to just lie in bed and do nothing. Drifting in a space between not fully asleep but not fully awake either he let the winter sun that was shining through his window warm him until the Chairman jumped onto his chest and meowed, demanding his breakfast may be served to him.

“Are you hungry already?” Magnus asked the feline, scratching him behind the ear. 

The Chairman meowed.

“How can you be this tiny and still eat that much? Last night I left you enough to feed an entire cat army. How can you still be hungry?”

The Chairman purred and started kneading Magnus chest. 

“Alright then, let’s get you something to eat.”

Carefully cradling the cat in his arms he walked into the kitchen where he gently let it to the ground again. With well-known movements he prepared the Chairman’s breakfast and then went on to boil some water for his special hangover-cure tea. 

Yawning he stretched himself a little and then decided that it probably wouldn’t harm either if he took an aspirin. Taking his time he went to the bathroom, took one out of his cupboard and swallowed it with some water. On his way back to the kitchen he took his phone, which was still charging on his nightstand, with him. 

He poured himself a cup of his freshly brewed tea and left it on the counter to cool off a bit. Finally, he checked his phone.

One new message from Alexander.

Magnus hesitated but then scolded himself for being ridiculous. There was no use in procrastinating the inevitable. 

_R u home?_

The message had been sent about half an hour ago. Magnus typed out a quick yes. The response came almost immediately.

_Can i come?_

Magnus locked the screen and laid his phone aside, taking his cup of tea into his hands instead and gently blowing to cool it off. 

He was still mad at Alexander that was out of the question. But his conversation with Raphael had made him think. 

It was like Maryse had said: Alexander and he were two very different people. So maybe Magnus should stop judging his friend by his standards. 

The reason why Maryse’s words had affected Magnus as much were not the rude way they’d been delivered, although it certainly hadn’t been nice. It had much more to do with her saying that the thing he wanted most was impossible. That he was not good enough.

But for Alexander they must hurt in a completely different manner. It was more than his own parents doubting the relationship he had. It was them doubting the choices he’d made, ridiculing them. Magnus had been so long without his parents but if he thought about how it would feel like if Cat and Ragnor, who were more family to him than anything else, would turn on him… he couldn’t even imagine it.

Of course the way Alexander had handled the situation, especially later on in the car, was not ideal but maybe Magnus had been too hard on him.

He took his phone back into his hands and quickly agreed to Alexander’s request. 

At peace with his decision he took a sip from his tea and promptly burnt his tongue, hissing at the sudden pain. Before he could get a glass of cold water the doorbell rang.

Magnus frowned. Unless Alexander had somehow gained teleportation powers over night it was way too early for him to have already arrived.

Curious Magnus pressed the buzzer and waited at the door until the person conquered the last set of stairs. And really, to his surprise it was Alexander. His black hair was a mess and he was panting from having run up the stairs but he looked beautiful, as always.

“Alexander? I didn’t expect you this soon.” A thought occurred to him. “Did you- did you wait outside?”

His friend shrugged which Magnus took as a yes.

“Why didn’t you just ring the bell?” He thought about how Alexander’s first text had been sent over half an hour ago and wondered if he’d waited all this time outside for Magnus to reply.

Again, the other man shrugged, seeming a little embarrassed. “I guess I just wanted you to know that it would be me coming up the stairs so that you could choose whether you’d let me in or not. Look, Magnus, last night was a disaster and I’m here to apologize but I’m not good with words so please just… just wait until I’m done.”

Magnus nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

He paused. The silence that followed stretched so long Magnus thought for one hilarious moment that this was the end of Alexander’s speech but then the other man started talking again.

“You were right. I can’t apologize on behalf of my parents, although if I could then I would because they didn’t treat you right. But I didn’t treat you right either and I want you to know that I’m sorry for that. I should have said something back then but I was too much of a coward to open my mouth. You’re my best friend and that means standing with you, even when my parents don’t agree. You were also right about me. I should start to stand up for myself and what I want.”

He seized something out of his pocket and held it out for Magnus who took it on instinct. 

“This is for you. Both as an apology for what I did but also as a ‘thank you’ for going with me to that dinner in the first place. I know you didn’t actually want to.”

It was a _Skittles_ package. Magnus smiled.

“Thank you, Alexander. Your apology is accepted. And I think I have something to be sorry for as well. The way I reacted wasn’t appropriate.”

“No, it’s okay,” Alexander protested but Magnus raised a hand to cut him off.

“It really isn’t. They’re your parents. I shouldn’t have gotten this mad.”

Alexander smiled and nodded in acknowledgement which Magnus interpreted as an acceptance of his apology.

“Do you want to come inside?” he offered, suddenly realizing that they had carried out their scene in the stairwell with Magnus still wearing his silk pajamas. 

“No, my, uh, my shift starts in an hour and I need to run by my apartment first to get some stuff. I just needed to do this first.”

“Okay. See you soon then?”

“Yes, I’ll send you a text.”

“Okay.”

Alexander turned to leave again but at the last second he looked back once more. 

“We’re good again, right?”

Magnus smiled. “More than ever, Alexander.”

His friend smiled back. Magnus watched him leave before he closed the door again and leaned against it. 

Raphael was right. Magnus was in love with Alexander. He would work this out because there was just no other option for him.

Looking down on the _Skittles_ package in his hand he noticed that it seemed to be fuller than the average one. Also, it had already been opened.

Curious he glanced inside and broke out into a full grin.

Inside the package were nothing but red _Skittles_ , presumably collected from multiple packages.

Yes, they were more than good again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was it for this time! I've gotta tell you, it was hard to me to write Maryse like that after she went through such a beautiful development on the show. But someone's gotta stir up the drama and no one can do it like a Lightwood can...
> 
> Tell me in the comments what you thought of it or leave suggestions on how I could improve my writing! 
> 
> WARNING: Due to personal reasons I probably won't be able to stick to my current posting schedule from now on. I can promise you that the next chapter will be up in two weeks as per usual but after that it's kind of still hanging in the air if I'll manage to get the chapter done in time. I hope so.  
> If you want to know the exact time at which I'll upload it I recommend that you either subscribe to the story or follow [my tumblr](http://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/) where I will be posting warnings as to when the new chapter will be up from now on.
> 
> My beta is an angel who leaves me the sweetest comments and assists me with all the patience in the world. ([Her tumblr](https://sheet-faced.tumblr.com/), [her blog](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/))


	7. Fuck Sexual Tension

“I’m telling you, Raphael, this woman is a genius. She’s more than that. She’s a goddess,” Magnus gushed over his phone.

“You’re insane,” countered his friend. He didn’t say it in disbelief or confusion but rather as if it were old news. A simple fact that was well-known and just had to be stated out loud every now and then.

“You might as well be right about that but she is still a genius. Did you know that most of her clients report huge successes in their personal life as well as soon as they clean everything after her method? She’s brilliant.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Frustration wavered in his friend’s voice.

“Alexander is at work.”

“So am I.”

“Yes, but Alexander is a cop while you, my dear, are a chef. If I would disturb him at work lives could be endangered. Also, you’re on a break, so that cannot actually be counted as working,” Magnus explained. The silence that followed was hard to interpret but was probably one of either disbelief or exasperation. Maybe a mixture between these two.

“I’m hanging up now.” Definitely exasperation.

“Did you know that she’s the single most successful cleaning expert?” Magnus asked, just because he couldn’t resist being a tease.

The only answer he got was a deep, monotonous beeping.

“Rude.”

Magnus chuckled and laid his phone aside, gripping yet another one of his shirts, examining it thoroughly and then putting it on top of the pile of clothes to his right.

He had spent the whole Sunday organizing his closet and getting rid of things. Yesterday he had been struck by a sudden want to clean. His whole apartment had seemed cluttered to a degree that he almost felt like he had no air left to breathe. Hence his solution: A huge clear-out.

“Magnus?” a familiar voice resounded throughout his apartment.

“Alexander? I’m in here, darling!”

He heard footsteps approaching and soon enough the man himself stood in the doorway to his wardrobe, his face a mask of utter shock.

“What happened in here?”

“Magic cleaning,” Magnus announced, spreading his arms as if to present the mess that was his closet. Piles of clothes, boxes and accessories were scattered in a complicated labyrinth around him that no one could make sense of except for Magnus himself. 

“Magic what?” Alexander raised one eyebrow.

“Magic cleaning,” Magnus repeated with patience. “It’s a method by this Japanese genius, Mari Kondo. She’s brilliant. I read her book and I’m in awe. So I thought why not clean out a little and get rid of all this junk that I have lying around? I feel like I need to try out something new. A change will do me good.”

“Okay… so basically you’re just cleaning?”

“Magic cleaning, Alexander,” he corrected him. “If you do it right then it can change your life.”

Alexander didn’t look convinced. “How does it work?”

“I think the core of it is taking things into your hand and asking yourself ‘does this make me happy?’ and if the answer is ‘yes’ then you keep it and if you have doubts then you get rid of it. Except for things that are indispensable, like your passport.”

Although his friend did no appear to be too impressed by the explanation he nodded in acceptance.

“So, this is what you’re getting rid of?” He pointed at the large pile to Magnus’s right. 

“Huh? Oh no, that’s what I’m keeping. This is what I’m getting rid of.” He pointed at the small pile to his left. 

“Of course.” There was the shadow of a smile on Alexander’s lips but he refrained from teasing Magnus about the size of the pile of things he’d get rid of compared to the size of the pile of things he wanted to keep. Magnus was grateful for it. He had detachment issues, okay? No need to call him out on it.

He turned around to pull yet another item out of his row of clothes. This time it was a soft pink sweater. He’d already forgotten that he owned something like it.

“Does this make me happy?” he asked out loud, his brows furrowed in concentration.

“I’ve never seen you wear it before,” Alexander answered.

“No, the color doesn’t go with a lot of what I own. Also, I think it’s a little large. It was a gift by an old friend of mine with whom I lost touch.” He took a closer look. It was good quality.

Eventually he sighed. “I think I’ll just have to try it on.”

With one fluid movement he stripped himself out of his shirt (he probably could have just pulled the sweater on top of the shirt but where would be the fun in that?) and then changed into the sweater.

It was ridiculously large. Magnus was by no means a small man and he knew that he had broad shoulders. He’d always been quick to gain muscle mass and was proud to say that he had good arms. The sweater, however, hugged him about as flattering as a potato sack. It went down to the middle of his thighs and the sleeves covered his hands up to the tips of his fingers. The neck was so wide that it almost slipped off of his shoulder if he pulled it too much to the side.

“Now, this is absurd,” Magnus commented, looking down on himself.

He looked at Alexander to get a confirmation but his friend just shrugged. 

“I think you look pretty.”

Magnus could feel his temperature rising and a warm, pleasant feeling settling in his stomach. _Stupid_ , he chastised himself before he could ban the thought out of his mind. Gently he shook his head. There was nothing stupid about being flattered. He was allowed to be happy when the man he loved made him a compliment. 

“Thank you.” He smiled and slipped out of the sweater, putting it on the pile with stuff he’d keep.

“I talked to Jace.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow at the sudden change of topic, waiting for an elaboration. 

“He’s going to move out.”

“Oh, are he and Biscuit finally moving in together?” Magnus smiled. He’d already been waiting for news like that to arrive soon. He and Biscuit had been together for what felt like eons by now. It had only been a matter of time until they’d move in together. 

“Yeah, I guess they are.” He left a short pause. “Actually, he quit his apartment because he wants to cut bonds with our parents.”

“What?” Magnus face was filled with shock and confusion.

“The apartment he’s currently living in belongs to our parents. He lived there because they let him rent it for cheap and since he’s always away because of his job he didn’t want to spend a lot of money on a place he wouldn’t use that often. But now he’s much more often at home and since that night where… we had dinner with my parents he decided that he doesn’t want to depend on them any longer.”

Alexander paused and so Magnus nodded to show that he was still listening.

“Apparently he had a big fight with them. But you know Jace, of course he said something stupid and now he needs to move out until the end of next week, so he needs a place to stay until he and Clary found a new place. Then one she currently shares with Simon is way too small for the three of them and so I offered my apartment.”

“So Jace is going to live with you for a while?” Magnus asked, unsure if that was what Alexander was trying to say because the other man made it seem as though he was about to confess something rather than inform him about something.

“Yeah, about that,” Alexander wet his lips like he always did when he was nervous. “Jace assumed that I’d stay at yours during that time because then no one would have to sleep on the couch. I couldn’t really tell him a reason why that’s not possible without blowing our cover.”

Magnus expression cleared when he finally understood.

“So, you need to live here for a while?”

Alexander nodded. “Only if that’s okay with you. It’s just until Jace and Clary find a place.”

Magnus smiled. Would he be okay having Alexander close to him 24/7? “Of course that’s okay with me. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I wouldn’t be imposing? Because if you don’t want me to stay then I’ll just come up with an excuse for Jace. After all it’s your apartment and I kind of decided this without asking you for your permission first.” His friend appeared sincerely apologetic for his behavior and his puppy eyes alone would probably have managed to still his anger if he’d ever been angry in the first place. But luckily that wasn’t the case.

“Imposing? What a ridiculous idea, Alexander. You are always welcome here, darling. I hope you know that.”

Magnus could see how Alexander’s posture lost a little of its tension when he let out a small breath in relief. 

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. It’s out of pure selfishness that I’m letting you stay here. Your beautiful face goes wonderful with the new couch that I ordered today. And now that you’re staying here you can even help maneuver it up the stairs.”

“Didn’t you want to get rid of things, not add new ones?”

“No, I want to only surround myself with things that make me happy.” _Like you_. “And when I saw the couch it made me very happy indeed.”

Alexander snorted and rolled his eyes. 

“Are you going to the Hunter’s Moon next week?” he asked.

“My dear, I think I’ll have to. I haven’t payed Maia a visit in forever. If I don’t do it any time soon she’ll have my head. And I do miss her.”

“We should drive there together. We can take my car. I’ll have to drop by some of my stuff at yours anyway.”

Magnus took another piece of clothing into his hand and smiled. “It’s a date then.”

 

-

 

When they arrived at the Hunter’s Moon where they were supposed to meet some of their friends, the majority of them were already there. Isabelle, Sheldon, Raphael, Biscuit and Lydia had pushed some tables together in order to fit everyone in and when Alexander and Magnus got themselves some drinks from Maia at the bar she told them that she would join them any minute, as soon as her shift ended. That meant that only Jace was still missing. 

“Alec, what’s up? Feeling a bit colorful today? I’m counting at least five different shades of black!” Skyler greeted them as soon as they’d stepped to the table.

“Who invited him?” Alexander asked Isabelle and seated himself, Magnus choosing the chair right next to him.

“Seriously?” Serjin complained. “Dude, you really need to get over this whole grumpy façade. It’s growing a little boring with the time. And eventually people will know that you actually like me when I get an invite to your wedding.”

“Who says you’re invited?” Alexander countered.

“What? You’re kidding, right?” Solomon didn’t look too sure anymore.

Alexander didn’t even twitch, slowly raising his beer to his lips to take a sip.

“C’mon, Alec! You can’t do this to me! You’re my only chance on getting my name on the invite right!”

Isabelle laughed and even the other girls chuckled a little. 

“Since when are you having fun without me?” A voice from behind them asked. Magnus turned around to see Jace towering above them, arms crossed.

“Since always. But now that you’re back the fun’s over. We can all just as well go home now,” Isabelle mocked.

“Haha,” Jace deadpanned. “Move over,” he demanded and his sister scooted closer to Sherwin so that Jace could sit next to his girlfriend on the bench. As soon as he sat their lips locked in an open mouthed kiss, like they were pulled in by a magnetic force. 

“Please, try not to drool over the leather benches. That’s unsanitary,” Raphael remarked. Biscuit pulled back, her cheeks colored in an embarrassed blush but Jace just presented him the middle finger.

“Aw, come one, Raphael,” Isabelle jumped in. “Leave them be. Now that they’re moving in together their honeymoon phase starts all over again.”

“Maybe. But that doesn’t mean that I need to be a part of it,” Raphael countered.

“By the way, Magnus,” Jace said, “I wanted to thank you for taking up with my brother so that I can have his apartment. I appreciate the sacrifice you’re making.”

Magnus could almost feel Alexander roll his eyes although he couldn’t see his face whilst looking at Jace. 

“Oh, Jace, you should know by now that I would never do anything purely to help you out. Believe me when I say that my motives for taking your big brother in are a hundred percent selfish.” He smirked suggestively and raised his drink to his lips.

“Maybe that’s finally going to trigger your honey moon phase too,” Scooter laughed.

Alexander frowned. “What do you mean?”

Biscuit answered instead of her friend. “We’re kind of still waiting for you to hang onto each other’s lips. I mean, even back when you were ‘still friends’,” she underlined the last two words with quotation marks that she signed into the air with her fingers, “you were a little more on the physical side, which is odd because Alec doesn’t like touching anyone.”

“That’s not true,” Alexander protested.

Isabelle countered. “I hate to burst your bubble, Alec, but ninety percent of the time you keep your hands locked behind your back. You don’t do casual touches. I think I’m going to get me another one of those.” Her last sentence had been referring to the empty glass in front of her.

“I can do it!” Stewart got up and almost threw over his chair in his eagerness. 

Isabelle smiled. “Thank you.” Steve smiled as well and disappeared into the direction of the bar.

Alexander completely ignored their small interaction. “Of course I- I mean- that’s not- I didn’t-,” he sputtered and Magnus pulse began racing. He wasn’t sure if it was surprise, excitement or happiness that made his heart beating like it did but he didn’t care either. He’d never really questioned it before but Isabelle was right. Alexander didn’t do casual touches but he always seemed to be comfortable with Magnus touching his arm or hand and even initiated touches of the same nature. 

Isabelle laughed at her brother’s stammering. “Don’t worry. There’s no need to be embarrassed now.”

Jace eyes lit up with a mischievous spark at that notion. “Wait, does that mean we can tell all the embarrassing stories where Alec-“

Before Jace could finish his sentence Magnus heard a loud clunk followed by a sudden wetness on his shirt and pants and the biting smell of beer. Without thinking he immediately jumped out of his chair to escape the liquid that was dripping down the table from where Alexander had knocked over his glass but the damage was already done.

“Oh my God, Magnus, I’m so sorry!” Magnus raised a hand and his friend froze from where he had just been about to get up.

“It was an accident,” he reminded him, although he feared his voice was a little pressed. He could feel the cold seeping in where his wet clothes clung to his body and droplets of the beer running down his legs and into his shoes. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go and clean myself up.”

Without waiting for a reply he made his way to the bathroom with as much dignity as one could manage, being drenched in beer. He passed Maia whose shift seemed to have ended that minute but waved her off as she shot him a questioning look.

Only when he had white tiles under his feet he began to relax. One look into the mirror that hung above the sink and he knew that the way he looked Alexander could have just as well pointedly emptied his glass over Magnus. The beer had hit him on the left side of his chest, where Alexander had sat, had covered a little of his arm and then run down his shirt where it had gathered in his lap, leaving a stain that looked suspiciously like Magnus had peed himself.

He sighed and started grabbing some paper towels. He started drying off his face and throat first where some drops had hit him when the beer had splashed his chest. 

Halfway through his motion the door opened again and Alexander stepped through. 

“Hey, I wanted to see if you need any help.” He had a sheepish look on his face and rubbed his neck in embarrassment. “I’m really sorry about what happened,” he added.

“It’s okay. It was an accident, nothing more. You’re forgiven.” Magnus smiled faintly and Alexander mirrored it but the apologetic expression didn’t leave his face.

He stepped to the sink and also grabbed some paper towels from the stand to his left. Magnus accepted them and started to pat his shirt dry.

“Guess I’m going to smell like a bar for a bit,” he sighed, accepting his fate. 

“Sorry,” Alexander murmured again.

Magnus immediately regretted having said anything. “Don’t worry, darling. There are worse things than a bit of beer. Nothing that a shower can’t fix. Only this is not going to work.”

The last sentence had referred to his attempt at erasing the worst damage on his shirt. The clothing still clung to his body and he could feel the liquid drying on his skin and leaving sticky traces. Frustrated he unbuttoned his shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“Patting it dry doesn’t work. I’m going radical.” With a little effort he shrugged out of his shirt, the wet fabric making it more difficult than it usually was. Scrunching it up he wrung it out over the sink until no more droplets fell from the fabric down onto the white ceramic.

Flattening the shirt out again he took a look at it. It wasn’t quite as drenched as it had been before but the stain had gotten bigger and the fabric was all rumpled up now. But that had to be expected. Magnus sighed. That was not how he had planned this night to go.

“Here, let me help,” Alexander said, voice low.

He was holding a bunch of paper towels in his hand and held them under the tab for a second. Magnus already had his hand half extended to accept them but Alexander ignored it and instead leaned forward himself and started cleaning Magnus’s chest and belly with soft, caring strokes.

Magnus twitched for a second when the cold towel touched his warm skin but else he tried to keep as still as he could, barely daring to breathe.

He could feel himself shivering under the cool touch but his pulse raced, making his temperature shoot up until he felt like his chest and face were burning. His heart beat so loud and strong that for a second Magnus was afraid Alexander could hear it from where he stood.

Maybe half a step and they would bump chests. Magnus could just cross the distance between them and kiss him. Just like that. Just one kiss.

But it was too soon. Alexander didn’t love him yet.

Instead of looking at his friend’s kissable lips he directed his gaze down to his hands that still cleaned up Magnus’s belly and chest. His movements were, albeit slow, practical and effective but also careful, almost tender.

Once he had to throw away the paper towels he was using and wet some new ones but he did so in silence and Magnus just kept standing still.

With each new touch the tension in the room thickened, the air between charged with a thousand volt.

After a while Alexander moved up with his strokes, slowly running over Magnus’s collarbones, along his throat and shortly touching upon his fluttering pulse.

Magnus would have rather bit off his tongue than said that there wasn’t actually any need to clean his throat and face, which, except for a few lost droplets, had remained unaffected by the beer-disaster.

Alexander slowly moved his hand towards Magnus’s chin, stopping right below it. Out of a reflex Magnus wet his lips and he could see Alexander’s eyes dart down to where his tongue had been a mere second before.

Magnus breath hitched.

Suddenly the door burst open, startling them both.

“Oh.” Jace stood in the doorway, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “The girls sent me to check up on you but I see you are handling the situation pretty good.”

His eyes darted between Alexander and Magnus and only then the latter noticed how close they were still standing. A little embarrassed he took a step back to give his friend some space, knowing that Alexander would probably be uncomfortable with showing that much affection in front of anyone else.

Alexander hesitated but then he let his hand sink that had still hung in the air. 

“Uh, I think that’s it,” he murmured and turned around to throw the paper towel into the trash. Magnus would have given anything to see his face in that moment but instead he just stared at his back, Alexander’s feelings remaining a secret to him. 

“You sure? You seemed pretty cozy right now. Don’t let me interrupt you.” Jace grin didn’t weaver for a second.

“No, it’s okay,” Magnus waved him off. “I should probably get home and change.” He grabbed his shirt from where it lay next to the sink and pulled it back on, wincing a little when he had to force himself back into the sticky, wet fabric that immediately clung to his skin and made it more difficult for him to get dressed.

“I’ll drive you,” Alexander offered.

“Oh, no, you don’t have to. Really, I wouldn’t want to ruin your night off.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Magnus. We drove here together. Do you really want to take the subway like that?”

He had a point. Magnus sighed. If he wanted this with Alexander to work then he would have to stop backing off every time they grew a little closer.

“A ride would be great, thank you, darling.” He smiled and Alexander mirrored the motion.

Jace was still grinning as he held the door open for both of them. They first went back to their table to collect their jackets and inform their friends.

“Dude, you’re soaked,” Samuel commented as soon as they stepped to the table.

“Thank you, Sherlock, I almost hadn’t noticed,” Magnus deadpanned. 

“What happened?” It seemed as though no one had told the boy what had occurred in his absence but Magnus didn’t feel like explaining it, so he dismissed the question.

“We’re heading home, I need to get changed,” he announced.

“Oh, okay.” Biscuit sounded a little disappointed. “Are you coming back?”

Magnus eyes traveled to Alexander, out of sheer reflex and when they locked with Alexander’s the intensity of the other man’s gaze, although he couldn’t quite place it, took his breath away.

It took him a second but eventually he found his voice again. “I think we’re probably going to stay. We both have work tomorrow and I’m feeling a little tired tonight. I’m sorry, Biscuit.”

He was met with the slightest of nods from his friend’s part and he knew that he’d said the right thing.

“I can’t believe you guys,” Maia said from where she sat, with one arm around her girlfriend. “Now that my shift has ended you go off to fuck? What a way to treat your friends.”

Lydia blushed in second-hand embarrassment but also bit her lower lip to keep herself from laughing out loud. 

“I’m sorry, my dear,” Magnus apologized, smiling fondly. “I’ll make sure to pay you visits more often to make it up to you.”

“You better, mister,” she threatened.

They both said their goodbyes and made their way to Alexander’s car. Whilst they were walking side by side there was a strange kind of tension between them. The kind that made Magnus oddly aware of the space between Alexander and him, how close their hands dangled next to each other and how the body to his side radiated warmth. Also the way his own body worked became much more present to him. How his lungs filled themselves with air and his heart pumped blood through his veins that rushed in his ears. All the while the world around them became somehow fuzzy. The streetlights frizzed out around the seams and the people around him became faceless bodies whilst cars rushed around on the street in a blur. Noises reached Magnus’s ears in a grey mass, one undistinguishable from another. 

The electric feeling between them that he had sensed in the bathroom was back again as though it had never left.

It was pure anticipation.

Their walk was silent and when they reached the car Alexander opened the door for him and Magnus slipped into his seat without a word. He didn’t know for sure what was going to happen now. He felt as though he was awaiting something but he didn’t know what it was. Not with certainty.

Alexander walked around the car to get to the driver’s seat. As soon as he’d slipped into his place he put on his seat belt but before he turned the key he looked one last time into Magnus direction, their eyes locked and time froze.

Magnus felt a hunger boiling in the pits of his stomach. A desire that made his skin prickle and one that he saw mirrored in Alexander’s eyes, pupils blown wide.

Out of reflex he wet his lips and saw how Alexander’s gaze travelled down to catch the movement. 

Magnus felt his heart galloping inside his chest at what he was about to do. What he’d wanted to do for so long. But it had never been the right moment, the right time. It had never been like this when he could see clear as day how much Alexander wanted this too.

He leaned forward, only a little, and saw Alexander move with him, closer to him and-

A loud knock right next to his ear startled Magnus so much he almost jumped out of his skin. 

“Hey, lovebirds,” Jace’s voice called them, muffled through the thick glass.

Out of every person on this godforsaken planet Jace must be the one with the worst timing. With a deep sigh Magnus let the window down.

“What is it, Jason?”

“Alec left his jacket.” He held up a fur-lined leather jacket that Alexander had worn on their way to the bar. Magnus sighed again, took the jacket through the open window and threw in onto the backseat.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. Oh, and sorry, for interrupting.” There was laughter in his voice.

Magnus answered by letting the window up again. He could hear Alexander’s faint chuckle next to him and then the key turning and the engine roaring to life.

But despite the interruption the electric tension between them had not vanished for good. There was a promise left between them. A promise for continuance, a follow-up.

A promise for more.

They spent the rest of the ride in comfortable silence and were lucky enough to find a parking spot close to Magnus’s apartment. 

Magnus watched Alexander still the engine, put the handbrake into place and then look up to meet Magnus’s gaze with a heated one that immediately had the man’s blood boiling. It was like they had never been interrupted. The same tension that had built up between them in the car had never left the vehicle and Magnus felt the same desire flutter in his chest like before at the sight of his friend.

His friend.

His best friend.

Oh, God, what was he doing?

His arousal was instantly choked off by the fear that packed him with ice cold hands. Sure, this had been his plan all along, seducing Alexander. But in all his planning and scheming he had forgotten one crucial detail.

Sex did not necessarily equal love. Just because Alexander wanted to sleep with him that did not mean that he was ready to commit to a romantic relationship with Magnus. In fact, Magnus had seen it happen a thousand times. Friends who became fuck buddies until one of them grew tired of the other or found someone else and then broke it off and things got awkward. Friendship ruined. Forever.

Okay, so maybe he hadn’t seen it a thousand times. But it did happen! 

He wanted this. God, right now he wanted nothing more than to just undo his seat belt, jump into Alexander’s lap and kiss him senseless. But there was no guarantee for him that Alexander would mean the kiss in a way Magnus did. What if they jumped each other now and tomorrow things would be awkward already? It wouldn’t be like the first time because this time there was no way they would forget what happened.

“Alexander.” Something in Magnus’s voice must have alarmed the other man because he backed off just the slightest bit, barely noticeable but enough for Magnus to want to reach out and yank him back in, this time impossibly close. But he had to do this first. He had to make sure that they were on the same page and that he wouldn’t lose his best friend over one night of bad decisions and miscommunication.

His next words sounded soft and low when he said them. “Whatever happens now,” his gaze flicked down to Alexander’s lips, “I want you to know…”

His sentence trailed off into nothingness when Magnus saw Alexander moving towards him again, almost agonizingly slow.

He started another attempt. “I want to make sure that we’re on the same page with this, so…”

Magnus tried to finish the sentence, he really did but it was hard to stay focused with the way Alexander looked at him. Or with the way strays of Alexander’s dark hair fell into his forehead or the way he exposed his smooth neck by turning his head to look at Magnus. 

“Yeah?” Alexander’s voice was hoarse when he talked and a teasing spark had mixed into the heat of his gaze, as though he knew exactly what kind of effect he had on Magnus and was daring him to keep on talking. His pink lips carried the faintest trace of a smile.

“…so that we can keep being friends,” Magnus finished his sentence. As soon as the last of his words rolled of his tongue he leaned forward to finally capture Alexander’s mouth with his but before he could even so much as reach the other man Alexander turned away from him.

“I think I should drive home now.”

Magnus froze. 

He blinked, confused by the abrupt change of mood. Had he been reading this entire situation wrong? No. That could not be. All these glances and what happened in the bathroom, Magnus was sure that he hadn’t been imagining it. Embarrassed he leaned back into his seat again.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Alexander shook his head but refrained from looking at him, instead keeping his eyes locked firmly above the steering wheel.

“No, you didn’t. I’m just- I’m just tired. I should go home.” 

Magnus could feel his cheeks heat up in shame. “Yeah, “he breathed. “So should I.”

He gulped, trying to swallow down the confusion and humiliation that he felt.

“Good night, Alexander.”

Determined he undid his seatbelt, pushed the door open, stepped out and walked straight to his apartment without risking a look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative title for this chapter: Fuck Jace (And His Timing). Because honestly, that boy always shows up when you need him the least.
> 
> Any thoughts on the new chapter? Leave a comment!
> 
> I already mentioned this last chapter but I'm going to do it again:  
> From now on I probably won't be able to stick to my regular posting schedule any longer. Things are a little stressfull at the moment and I can't seem to find the time to sit down and write. I will try my best to not keep you waiting for too long but I can't make any promises.  
> If you don't want to miss the next chapter either subsribe to the story or follow me on [tumblr](http://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/) where I will be posting updates on when the next chapter is going to be online.  
> Thank you for sticking with me up until now. I hope you'll stay with me through this.
> 
> My beta is a beautiful and amazing person and deserves all the love and praise in the world. ([Her tumblr](https://sheet-faced.tumblr.com/), [her blog](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/))


	8. Fuck Lying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some things that simply cannot be overlooked or forgotten, no matter how much you wish you could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a new chapter! I know, I'm really late and I don't really have an excuse but I hope you find the chapter worth the wait. As always, I am open for constructive criticism.

That night Magnus cried himself to sleep, alone in his bedroom. He cried because he was embarrassed and confused and because he was tired. Because it didn’t matter that he loved Alexander so much it made his chest hurt and his throat tighten. It didn’t matter one bit because Magnus wasn’t wanted in that way and he never would be. He cried because he clung onto this stupid hope instead of moving on because he could no longer imagine a life in which he was not in love with Alexander. He cried because he felt stupid and childish. 

And only when all of his tears had left him he fell into a fitful sleep. 

When he awoke he could feel his head throb. His eyes felt puffy and he had no doubt that they were red. It was Saturday so he could stay in bed all day if he wanted to. He didn’t have anything planned anyway since he’d wanted to stay in with Alexander that day. 

Magnus closed his eyes and groaned. Thinking about his best friend brought back memories of last night that made him want to die of mortification. 

Alexander had actually been supposed to stay the night with Magnus in his apartment since Jace had occupied his own space. They had had a duffel bag full with clothes and essentials lying in the trunk of Alexander’s car but after what happened he had no doubt that Alexander had gone back to his own apartment to share it with his adoptive brother.

Magnus had no idea if Alexander wanted to stay at his apartment at all from now on. He’d probably make up some fight between him and Magnus to avoid having to stay at Magnus’s. Jace would move in with Biscuit and endure her roommate for a while. Magnus and Alexander would grow out of touch because they would avoid each other for months until one of them would eventually be forced to move away because of work and they would never visit each other after that until Magnus would one day receive an invitation to Alexander’s wedding with another man, asking him if Magnus was going to bring a plus one. Of course Magnus would first have to return the ring to Alexander so that he could give it to his new fiancé. The thought of this imaginary future husband of Alexander’s alone was enough to spurt jealousy in him, although he was ashamed to admit it. 

Magnus opened his eyes again and lifted his left hand in front of his face to examine the ring closer. He’d forgotten to take it off before going to bed last night. Or maybe he hadn’t forgotten but just didn’t want to take it off, not even for a minute. It made him feel safe, gave him hope. As long as he still had that ring he still had Alexander. He couldn’t lose him if he was still needed for this whole pretend relationship scheme. It wasn’t much of a solace but it was all he had right now. 

A light ‘ping’ to his right caught Magnus’s attention. His phone screen had lit up with a message. Magnus stared at it from afar, not being able to read the message from where he currently lied. Without moving he watched the phone screen turn black again after a while. It could be a message from Alexander. If it was then Magnus had no idea what to expect from it. It was probably from someone else anyway. Raphael complaining about something or Maia reminding him they wanted to meet up. 

But if it was a message from Alexander, what could it say? Would it be a request for the ring back? Maybe. Or maybe a heartfelt apology for driving away and a confession that he wanted to spend the rest of his days with Magnus? Probably not. Maybe it would be nothing more than an ominous ‘we need to talk’. Or maybe it was nothing like that. Maybe it was just a casual text, asking him if he should pick up some food from the grocery store on his way to Magnus’s. 

The last thought was both somehow terrifying and desirable at the same time. Magnus didn’t want to let things go back to normal; he wanted to move on from where they were. He wanted to be able to kiss Alexander and hold him and tell him he loved him a thousand times a day. But if the alternatives to choose from were that he either have Alexander like he had him for the last five years or that he’d loose his best friend then he would pick the former, no matter what. 

Pulling himself together Magnus reached over the mattress to take his phone. There was no use in agonizing over the different possibilities for all of eternity. Better jump straight into the cold water.

_can I come over?_

At first there was nothing but pure relief for Magnus. Alexander wasn’t avoiding him and would most likely not end up with another fiancé somewhere outside of New York. But what quickly followed was fear.

What would happen if he let Alexander come over? How was he supposed to react in front of him? Should he act like nothing had happened? Was that something Magnus wanted? To act like nothing had happened? Maybe.

Magnus was confused. He had been sure that Alexander too had felt the tension between them; it had even felt like Alexander had been the one to spark it. But then he had rejected Magnus suddenly just as the man had been about to kiss him and now there were doubts crawling around Magnus’s mind.

What had made Alexander turn away? Had it been something that Magnus had said? He tried to remember what it had been that he’d said before Alexander had backed off but, to be honest, in his mind the moment was filled with heated looks and shaky breaths and feeling his heart pounding in his ears. 

He remembered wanting to make sure that it all wouldn’t turn into some friends with benefits-thing. Was it that? Had Alexander stopped because that had been his goal and now he’d realized that it meant more to Magnus than it did to him and so he decided to put an end to it before it started to protect Magnus’s feelings?

No, that didn’t seem right. If Alexander had backed off because he’d noticed Magnus’s feelings for him ran deeper than a sexual fling and he couldn’t reciprocate those feelings then he would’ve talked to Magnus about it. 

One thing that Magnus had always appreciated in his friend was his honesty and his straightforwardness. The way Alexander had distanced himself from Magnus had almost been cold, his voice empty and his expression unmoving, gaze directed to the outside without focusing on anything specific. If he’d done it to protect Magnus there surely would have been more warmth, maybe even pity (as much as Magnus hated that thought) shown from his side?

Unless he’d been so shocked by the revelation that he didn’t even think about more than getting away from Magnus in order to be able to process that new information on his own. But that still didn’t seem right. Alexander’s first instinct would have been to talk to him, that much he knew. So it must have been something else. What exactly had it been that Magnus had said?

He tried to replay the exact moment in his mind, pushing away the burn of embarrassment he felt rising in his cheeks when he thought about it. 

He remembered them sitting in the car and the strays of Alexander’s black hair falling into his forehead, the way he’d gazed at Magnus through thick eye lashes, pupils dilated and the way Alexander’s tongue had darted out to wet his lips that were pink and plush and perfect. He remembered that the only thing holding him back from jumping his friend’s bones had been the seat belt.

He didn’t want to think of how Alexander would have reacted if Magnus had actually climbed into his lap if Magnus had already started making things weird by trying to kiss him, a memory that instantly brought back the bitter feeling of humiliation. He tried to ignore it and banned all images of Alexander out of his mind. 

He remembered wanting to make sure they were on the same page and saying as much. That no matter what happened he wanted them to be friends.

That was what he had been most afraid of: losing his friend. Of course he wanted to be with Alexander in a romantic fashion but not for the price of the bond they already shared. He wanted it to be more of an… extension, where he could admit his feelings out loud and know they were reciprocated. Having Alexander as his boyfriend shouldn’t mean losing his best friend but as it turned out he might end up with having neither.

Unless Alexander misunderstood him? A lot of people saw being friends with someone and being in a romantic relationship with someone as two separate things that could not coexist. Also, a lot of people were idiots, in Magnus’s opinion, but it was still a widely spread belief that Alexander might share. 

What if Alexander had thought that Magnus meant he wanted them to be _nothing more_ than friends? Magnus might not have expressed his sentiment in the clearest way in his hazy state and it wasn’t like he had lingered to explain what he meant.

Alexander and he had never really talked about how they viewed love. Alexander wasn’t the type to talk for hours about his last date and Magnus avoided the topic ‘love’ at all costs in his presence.

Had Alexander withdrawn because he wanted to be more than friends?

Magnus could feel his heartrate speed up at the prospect. 

Only, if he really did want to be more than friends then the most logical thing to do would have been to let Magnus kiss him. Unless he’d had the same fears as Magnus and didn’t want to start a friendship with benefits that would end in tears and heartbreak. But if he truly were afraid of that he wouldn’t have started the whole thing in the bathroom. If he’d wanted to make sure it was more than just sex then he would have talked to Magnus instead of running his hands over his naked torso. And if not talked then at least created a different kind of tension that was more romantic and less sexual.

A suspicion sprout in Magnus: Did Alexander really ‘create’ the tension? Had it been a set-up? If so that must mean that the incident where he had spilled beer all over Magnus’s shirt hadn’t been an accident but done on purpose. 

He shook his head. That was ridiculous. Alexander wouldn’t do something like that and, besides, he really had looked sorry for what had happened. This whole idea was ridiculous. Alexander was not in love with him and that night hadn’t been a set-up. Five years ago he’d already allowed hopes like that to infect him and he’d paid in a lot of tears. By now he should know better than to let it happen again. 

But why had Alexander backed off? There must have been a reason but Magnus couldn’t think of a single on that made any sense. Had he remembered he’d left the stove on and was too embarrassed to admit so? Had he said the truth and actually just been tired? Was he secretly a super bad kisser and didn’t want Magnus to know? Magnus could just not figure him out and he knew that there was only one way to find out for sure what had happened: talk to Alexander.

As much as he dreaded it he knew there was no way around it if he didn’t choose to pretend like last night didn’t exist. 

He unlocked his phone again whose screen had turned dark whilst he had been lost in thought and now stared at the text message waiting for him.

_can I come over?_

Taking a deep breath he typed out his response: a simple ‘yes’. After that he threw his phone out of reach and watched it bounce a few times on the mattress before crawling out from under his blanket and walking into the kitchen to give the Chairman his breakfast. 

He didn’t feel hungry himself, his stomach turned by nervousness as his initial worries returned.

What should he say? What should he do? What would Alexander say or do? How should he greet him? Usually Alexander would come over and they would immediately fall into their routine without leaving time for greetings or small talk. If they did leave time for such things or they hadn’t seen each other for a longer time (which rarely happened, now that Magnus thought about it) then they sometimes hugged.

Magnus figured that a hug would be rather inappropriate this time, given the circumstances under which they had parted the last time they saw each other.

When the bell rung Magnus almost jumped out of his skin, having been in deep thought. For a second he just stood in the middle of his kitchen, not knowing what to do until something finally clicked in him and he went to press the buzzer and let Alexander in. 

Should he wait at the door until Alexander had climbed the stairs and greet him there? No, that was insane. He never did that. Panicking a little he paced around his apartment to find something to do that didn’t make him look like he’d waited for his friend to arrive. Something casual, normal. 

When he heard a hesitant knock at the door he quickly grabbed a random book out of his shelf and let himself drop into his armchair. 

“Come on in,” he called, his voice a little higher pitched than usual but hopefully Alexander didn’t notice.

The door opened a little and his best friend peeked through. When he spotted Magnus he opened the door wide enough to slip into the apartment and carefully closed it behind him. He looked like a mess, with tired eyes, ruffled hair and stubble on his chin. And, damn him, he still managed to look handsome. 

“Hey,” Alexander said. 

“Hey,” Magnus responded. 

For what seemed like eternity they just looked at each other, unmoving, lingering in awkwardness. Eventually Magnus got sick of it.

“You can sit down if you want to,” he remarked. Alexander seemed to snap out of something but hastily followed Magnus’s offer and took a seat on the couch. There were still a few feet between them but now that there wasn’t the couch table and half the room distancing Magnus from Alexander, his friend suddenly seemed very close. Magnus crossed his legs and clutched his book a little tighter, clinging onto the small barrier between him and his friend. He also threw a quick glance down onto the book to make sure that he wasn’t holding it upside down, which would have been more than embarrassing. 

“Birdwatching?”

“Huh?” Magnus frowned in confusion at Alexander’s random input. The man nodded at the book that Magnus was clasping. He closed the book and read the title _Bewick’s History of British Birds_. He remembered that he’d purchased the book on a yard sale once, thinking that he could consider making birdwatching his new hobby if he only had to pay fifty cents for it and then never touching the book again. Still it had survived all his cleaning out attacks throughout the years because he felt like it made him look diverse and intellectual to keep a book about an unusual hobby. It probably didn’t but by now enough time had passed to make nostalgia save the book from landing in the trash can. 

Alexander, of course, knew all those things. He had been with him at that yard sale and had teased him for buying something he wouldn’t use anyway. Magnus had protested but naturally Alexander had ended up being right.

“Yes. I thought I might give it another try since I decided to keep it around.”

Alexander nodded and they fell back into silence.

“Well, I think I’m going to get myself a drink. Do you want anything?”

“No, thank you.” His friend had long ago given up trying to stop Magnus from drinking in the mornings if he was in the mood. 

Magnus got up and went to his liquor cabinet where he chose the bottle of Whiskey he had opened the night he’d met Alexander’s parents. Not a pleasant memory but in a way that made it even more fitting, to choose the same liquor to drown his sorrows once again.

He poured himself a glass and took a sip. Without turning around he asked:

“Have you brought your things?” He didn’t dare to look at Alexander whilst asking. He didn’t quite know what he was afraid of but he knew he didn’t want to see his friend’s reaction to the question. 

“I didn’t know if you still wanted me to.”

Now Magnus turned around. “I’m a man of my word, Alexander. I meant it. You are always welcome here.”

There was the shadow of a smile on Alexander’s lips. “They’re still in the trunk of my car. I will get them later.”

Magnus smiled and took another sip, not wanting to show how relieved he actually was. Alexander still wanted to stay so there was still hope.

The question Magnus had wanted to ask tugged at the back of his skull, demanding to be said out loud but he still shied away from it, taking another sip. Alexander wanted to stay, nothing was broken between them. Was it really that important to know why his friend had acted the way he had last night? Maybe it was easier to just forget about everything than to make things even more awkward between them. Not that they already were awkward. They were fine. Everything was fine.

“So, I’m guessing I owe you an apology for what happened last night.” 

Magnus froze, his gaze darting to Alexander. Somehow he hadn’t expected that the other man would be the one to start this conversation. 

“I’m sorry.”

Magnus still didn’t move, glass in his hand. “Continue,” he finally encouraged Alexander after it didn’t look like he would elaborate. 

“I get that what I did the other night might have been… confusing. I should have talked to you instead of just assuming. I made things awkward between us because I was being stupid. But you and me, we always seem to find our way back to each other. We can still be friends, right?”

This was it. His opportunity to just brush over it and continue their relationship as it was. Maybe not how he wished it would be like but how he could be content with it. It was at least much less of a risk to take. 

But he needed to know. “Why?” he asked, his voice strained. He bit his lip, not able to articulate a full sentence for the fear of spilling more than was good.

Alexander frowned. “’Why’?” he echoed.

“Why. Why did you do it?” Instead of looking at his friend Magnus kept his eyes fixed on the golden liquid in his glass.

“Why did I do what?” It seemed as though Alexander was a little dense this morning. Magnus repressed an annoyed sigh. He was already loathing this conversation and Alexander dragging it out with his stupid questions did not help to improve his mood.

“Last night. Why did you do it?” He tried not to sound too impatient.

“I don’t know.” Magnus finally looked at him again. Alexander appeared to be helpless, staring into nothingness and shrugging. “I guess,” he continued, “I wasn’t thinking things through. It was a stupid idea and eventually I got that.”

Magnus didn’t know what to do with that kind of information. So Alexander had started playing with him because he felt like it and suddenly he had realized that this wasn’t the greatest idea he’d ever had and simply changed his mind. Good to know it was that easy for him. 

Magnus felt anger boiling in the pits of his stomach. Of course it was irrational. Alexander didn’t know what harm he was causing. He didn’t know how much pain he brought Magnus. But somehow that didn’t make it any better. 

Magnus was mad at Alexander for being this dense, for not realizing that, yes, his best friend was in love with him, has been for the last five fucking years. Damn right, Alexander had not been ‘thinking things through’. What a fucking understatement. 

He had to be alone now.

With a swift motion he emptied his glass and put it on the little stand next to the armchair he had sat on before.

“I’d suggest you get your things now. I’m going to make some space in my closet for you. Are you hungry?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s food in the kitchen. Serve yourself.” And with those words he went into his bedroom and closed the door, hoping that Alexander would at least not be dense enough to read the invisible ‘keep out’ sign that was hanging outside from the door knob. 

 

-

 

Magnus grabbed his laptop and resigned to doing some work in his bed. He only left his room to either snatch something from the kitchen when hunger eventually caught up to him or to use the bathroom. Whenever he did he saw Alexander sitting on his couch and either reading or working as well, on his laptop which he had brought with him. And the Chairman, that damn traitor, sat by his side instead of being with Magnus, who gave him food and a place to sleep. 

But around dinner time the smell of something burnt wavered through the cracks of his door and started to fill his room, luring him out of the security of those four walls and into the kitchen from where the smell seemed to be coming from. 

The kitchen had turned into what resembled the construction sites Magnus often worked on. Pots and pans were piled on top of each other, plates, knifes and cutting boards filled the counter and the sink and the air in the room was a little hazy from smoke. 

And in the midst of it all stood Alexander.

“What on earth is happening here?” Magnus asked, standing frozen in shock.

Alexander whirled around, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “Uh, I’m making dinner.”

Magnus let his gaze wander over the mess and raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure that’s what you’re doing?”

His friend gave him a sheepish smile, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. Magnus sighed and walked to the stove where something was cooking. Curious he grabbed the dishcloth and used it to raise the lid off the pot. He was greeted by a cloud of smoke that had him immediately turn down the heat and slide the pot off the hotplate. 

Apparently Alexander had attempted to cook rice. Magnus took a spoon out of the top drawer of his counter and carefully took a look at how much of it had burnt. It turned out that it wasn’t half as bad as he had expected. Most of it would still be edible. 

“What did you want to make?” he asked his friend, taking in the amount of cut vegetables that covered the counter.

“Nasi Goreng.”

Magnus stared at Alexander wide-eyed. Nasi Goreng was an Indonesian dish. Something he had eaten almost every day when he had been a kid. Now he only ever made it on rare occasions, as a comfort food; just like when white people made themselves chicken soup whenever they were sick. And of course Alexander knew that, just like he seemed to know everything about Magnus – except for the minor fact that Magnus was in love with him. 

“Why did you try to make Nasi Goreng?” he asked, bewildered. “You could have asked me, I could have helped you.”

Alexander shrugged. “You seemed upset. I wanted to cheer you up. Also, I figured you being upset was probably my fault so I didn’t think that it would be a great idea to disturb you.”

Magnus sighed. Why was it so infuriatingly hard to be mad at this man? Not that he wasn’t mad anymore because he certainly still was. But he guessed that sulking in his room wasn’t any help, as much as he would prefer it right now. 

“What recipe did you use?” he resigned. Alexander showed him his phone where he had looked one up. As Magnus quickly scanned it he decided that, although it wasn’t like he would have done it, it was decent-looking and seemed simple enough. 

“Alright, you can go and get the wok and then clean up the counter a little so that we have enough space to work with. I’ll prepare the chicken,” he decided.

Alexander nodded and they went to work, moving in familiar harmony next to each other and only talking when necessary. Magnus managed to save most of the rice and threw away all that was too burnt to be eaten. The vegetables were all cut to more or less the same size as he was relieved to see. At least something that Alexander had kept in mind from the many cooking lessons Magnus had given him. 

In the end they created a meal that even Magnus could be proud of. They switched on Netflix and slouched down on the couch to eat. The dish was different from how he usually made it but delicious nonetheless and it still managed to give Magnus the comfort it always did. With his stomach full and his feet wrapped into a blanket he felt it was much easier to relax and enjoy the show they were watching. He didn’t comment on the scenes as he usually did but Alexander didn’t bring it up. 

As the hands on Magnus’s clock slowly reached eleven pm Magnus cast a look to his side and saw that his friend had fallen asleep next to him. For a long moment he just took in the view that Alexander was when he was sleeping. His expression had softened; there was no frowning, no discontent. He looked almost like a boy. 

Growing tired as well he reached forward to grab the remote and switched off the TV. He turned to wake Alexander only to see that the man was already watching him with sleepy eyes. 

“What time is it?” he asked, his voice raspy.

“Shortly after eleven pm. You haven’t been asleep for long.” The last part was more of a guess. Magnus had refrained from looking at Alexander for the most part but he knew that the other man hadn’t been asleep three episodes ago because that had been the last time he’d risked a look, so at least he hadn’t been sleeping for longer than an hour.

“Wasn’t sleeping, just dozing,” was the response. If that was true then he hoped Alexander hadn’t noticed how he had stared at him right now. 

“Time for bed?” Magnus asked. 

Alexander nodded and rubbed his eyes with the balms of his hands. 

“Do you want to shower now or tomorrow morning?”

“Tomorrow.” Magnus hadn’t expected anything else. Alexander had always been the shower-in-the-morning type. 

“Then I’m going to take a shower now. You can take your things and put them into the wardrobe. I cleared some space for you.” There hadn’t been the opportunity for that before since Magnus had occupied the bedroom for himself. A part of him felt guilty and ashamed for being this childish but he refused to listen to it. Sometimes one just had to be angry for some time and not feel bad for it at all, no matter how petty the reason.

He got up and went into the bathroom where he quickly took off his make-up and showered. After he changed into his pajamas he opened the door so that Alexander could enter as well and then went to brush his teeth, his friend joining him only a second later, already dressed in his usual sleeping attire: sweatpants and a loose shirt.

However, when Magnus headed into the direction of his bedroom Alexander walked towards the couch in the living room.

“Where are you going?” Magnus asked, frowning.

Alexander stopped and raised both eyebrows. “To sleep. I’m tired and I need to work tomorrow morning.”

“I know that. But you’re not going to sleep on the couch. It’s far too small for you; you’ll break your back.”

“Magnus, I’ve slept on the couch plenty of times. I’ll be fine.”

“Yes, for one night. You’ll be staying for weeks, are you planning on sleeping on the couch all that time?”

Alexander shrugged.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We can share the bed, it’s big enough.”

“No, please. I don’t want to- You don’t have to give up your space for me. I don’t want to disturb you.”

He could see Alexander’s cheeks getting a pink tint, as always when the man was especially embarrassed. Magnus could feel his jaw tighten and his posture tensing up. Again, anger and annoyance rose in him. Was it really such a horrible thing to share a bed with him? What did Alexander think he’d do to him? Harass him in his sleep? This was why he was afraid of confessing his true feelings. It would just make things weird. They would pretend it wouldn’t but it would. All he’d done so far was trying to kiss Alexander. He hadn’t even had the chance to get through with it and he hadn’t even told the other man why he had wanted to do it. Yet it was already weird. Alexander couldn’t even bear being this close to him anymore. 

“Just get into the damn bed, Alexander,” he growled through clenched teeth. It was late, Magnus was tired and he was emotionally exhausting by the last week – no, month – so if Alexander really did have a problem with being this close to Magnus then he could damn well just say so out loud instead of keeping on beating around the bush. 

For a second it really did look like he was about to just spill whatever he had to say but then he surrendered and walked into the bedroom, Magnus right behind him.

Alexander crawled under the blanket and lied down on the very edge of the mattress, as far away from Magnus as possible, as if the other man had an infectious disease of some sorts. 

Very well then, Magnus wouldn’t force his presence on anyone. Ignoring the hurt he felt at being rejected like that he lied down on the other end, as close to the edge as he could without risking falling down. He stared at Alexander’s back that was turned to him as though he could burn holes into it with his eyes. 

But more than anything, more than the anger and the disappointment and the shame, he felt the space that was between them. A big gap, barely three feet in width but it might as well have been miles. He felt the emptiness that radiated from it and the absoluteness with which it was not to be crossed. Like an invisible barrier had been put between Magnus and his best friend that could not be broken down or overcome, built up in a single night full of stupid mistakes. It was laughing at him and taunting him for having created it, leaving a bitter feeling in the very depths of his stomach that was made out of pure terror. 

Magnus was afraid because he felt like he had just lost his friend and he feared he could never have him back. 

 

-

 

As much as Alexander knew almost everything about him, Magnus knew Alexander like the back of his hand. He knew what the other man liked to eat, what his favorite book was and what his favorite movie was. He knew how he liked his coffee and he knew how he always stuck his tongue out to wet his lips when he was nervous or how he blushed and stuttered when he was embarrassed. There was only one thing he had forgotten. He had known it but it was one of those little things that never seemed important and so they slipped your mind. That thing was that Alexander Gideon Lightwood snored.

It wasn’t as though he was a heavy snorer but it was just loud enough to keep Magnus, who was already down to his nerves, up at night. 

So it was no wonder that when Magnus awoke the next day it was already closing in on noon. Magnus woke up slowly. At first he tried to fight himself back to sleep, snuggling deeper into his blanket and cowering together to warm himself and not opening his eyes yet. But after a while he gave up. Whatever he did, sleep would not come back to him.

He wasn’t surprised to see the other side of the bed empty, although maybe a little disappointed. Alexander had to work that day so he had probably left in the early hours of the morning. Probably couldn’t have waited to get away as well, he thought bitterly.

Rubbing the rest of sleep out of his eyes he yawned, stretched and pulled the blankets away to get up, shivering as the chill air touched his bare skin.

When he went to the kitchen to make himself breakfast and give the Chairman his food he saw that there was a post it stuck to his fridge door.

_I’m off to work, didn’t want to wake you. Hope you slept well. There are leftover waffles next to the stove._

Magnus stared at the note for a bit longer but finally ripped it off. He intended to throw it into the trash but at the last second he hesitated and laid it onto the counter instead. 

He discovered that Alexander had also already fed the Chairman which explained why the feline hadn’t dragged him out of bed by his teeth himself so that he’d give him food. In a way that was the least the man could have done after having kept him up all night with his snoring. Not that he’d done it intentional, Magnus knew that, but he was rather prone to being mad at Alexander at the moment and so every little detail that would usually not be more than a slight annoyance suddenly grew into in infuriating inconvenience. 

Next to where Magnus laid down the post it note that had stuck on his fridge door he noticed a brown paper bag standing. Curious he opened it to see what was inside and discovered a number of sandwiches. 

He frowned. Hadn’t the note said that Alexander had left him waffles, not sandwiches? He checked and indeed the note said waffles. He turned to his stove and, yes, right next to it was a plate on which maybe four or five waffles were piled up. 

But then why was there a package with sandwiches on the counter? Unless – oh. Magnus’s frown fell as he realized that Alexander had forgotten to take his lunch with him. 

He sighed. What an idiot.

Magnus made himself a bowl of cereal for breakfast and then went in search for the Chairman whom he picked up for some extra snuggle time, something that he’d neglected to do for some time now. But whilst he sat on his kitchen chair and stroked the purring feline behind the ear the bag with sandwiches stared at him accusingly. 

It was ridiculous. Magnus couldn’t just drive to Alexander’s precinct and deliver the bag. He was a busy person that had adult things to do like grocery shopping or working. True, it was Sunday so all the grocery stores were closed and yes, he had done all the workload he’d taken home with him yesterday but he was sure he also had other responsibilities to fulfill like… like…

Damn it. He had absolutely nothing to do that day.

Magnus pulled himself together, put the Chairman to the ground who fled into the kitchen, and went into his bedroom to get dressed.

 

-

 

The drive to the precinct didn’t take long but it was enough for Magnus to develop doubts. Would it be weird if Magnus brought Alexander his lunch? How would the other man react? How would his colleagues react? With glee he remembered that Luke might also be there. That would make it easier. Magnus could simply say that he’d hoped that Luke would be there so that he could catch up with an old friend. Although maybe that wasn’t the best idea. Magnus was sure that Luke had more important things at work to do than to chat with him. Still, the calming presence that always radiated from Luke would be enough to sooth his nerves, he hoped.

Armed with the brown bag full of sandwiches he entered the precinct. He’d already been there a few times, mostly as Alexander’s plus one at the Christmas parties, so he already knew which way to go. He entered the elevator with two other people and pressed the button for the third floor. Whilst he waited until he could get off the elevator again he started tapping his foot impatiently, which earned him an annoyed side-look from the woman next to him. He ignored it.

Finally the doors opened and Magnus stepped out. The room in which Alexander worked with several of his colleagues was dull, to say the least. The floor was made out of grey linoleum and the walls were painted in pastel yellow. Or at least Magnus supposed it was meant to be pastel yellow. Whatever color it was, it was mostly covered by huge noticeboards and flyers and framed pictures and certificates for which Magnus was grateful since that color did next to nothing to brighten the aesthetics of the room. Everyone in the department had their own desk, each of which was overflowing with paper work but there was just enough space for one person to pass between the tables comfortably, maybe two if they squeezed a bit. 

To Magnus’s utter relief the first person he saw when he entered the room was Luke. Clutching the bag a little tighter he made his way to Luke’s desk.

The man noticed him when he was still a few steps away, his face splitting into a grin.

“Magnus! It’s good to see you.” He got up and greeted Magnus with a hug. “Are you visiting Alec?”

“Yes. He left his lunch at home so I thought I’d pop by and bring it to him.”

“That’s nice of you. You’re already acting like an old married couple and you haven’t even had your honeymoon yet.” He chuckled about his own joke and Magnus forced himself to laugh with him. His right hand snapped immediately to his left hand though, where the engagement ring sat. Somehow he had completely forgotten that everyone thought they were engaged. He’d been so wrapped up because of the mess that his emotions were that one of the things that had caused the mess in the first place had managed to slip his mind. 

“He’ll be glad to see you,” Luke continued. “He’s been a little down today but I’m sure he’ll cheer up when he finds out that you’re here.” 

Magnus wasn’t too sure. He was actually rather certain that he was the reason why Alexander may have been acting down. After their conversation he had barely spoken a word with the other man and ignored him most of the time. He did feel a little guilty about that but that didn’t change anything about his own feelings and the confusing mess of anger and shame and love that swirled around his chest and threatened to make his heart burst.

Luke didn’t notice anything of the sort. He kept on talking.

“He’s currently down in the forensics department but he should be back any minute. You can wait for him if you want to.”

Alexander wasn’t there. That was his chance. He could just turn around and leave again. Avoid any contact to his fake fiancé which would most certainly be awkward and could blow their whole engagement story. 

“Wait, no, looks like he just came back.” He pointed at something (or rather someone) behind Magnus who turned around to see Alexander walk into the room, a file in his hand.

Maybe he’d stay and have a little chat after all. It couldn’t be too bad, could it?

Alexander’s eyes found him almost immediately. Magnus could see his brows furrowing in confusion.

“Magnus, what are you doing here?” he asked, not unfriendly.

Magnus lifted the brown paper bag a little to draw the other man’s attention to it. “I brought you your lunch. You left it at home,” he explained.

“Thank you,” Alexander stuttered. He looked a little stunned but accepted the bag that Magnus handed to him. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I had nothing better to do anyway.” He buried his hands in the pockets of his coat.

He heard Luke snort next to him and saw him gently shake his head. “I remember when Jocelyn and I were still like that. We were both always coming up with excuses why we were in each other’s areas because neither of us wanted to admit that we actually just went to see the other.”

He noticed both Alexander and Magnus looking at him and seemed to catch up on the tense atmosphere between them that was now mixed with embarrassment. He raised both hands in defeat and bowed his head apologetically. 

“I’ll leave you two alone. I still have some files for Gretel,” he mumbled an excuse and fled.

After he was gone they stood in silence for a few seconds. 

“Thank you, again,” Alexander mumbled eventually.

“No bother at all.” Another few seconds of silence passed until Magnus couldn’t bear it any longer. “I should probably go now,” he excused himself without looking Alexander in the eyes. “Goodbye.” He turned around, about to leave, as a hand held him back by his shoulder.

“Wait!” Magnus slowly turned back around and Alexander immediately withdrew his hand as though he had burnt himself. Typical. To touch Magnus must be revolting for him now. After all he didn’t know when Magnus could jump him again and try to kiss him. Every movement could trigger it so it was better to be careful. That was what Alexander thought, wasn’t it? Why he had always kept space between them wherever they stood, sat or lied next to each other. Why he couldn’t bear to touch Magnus’s shoulder for more than a handful of seconds.

“Was he-,” Alexander tried to start a sentence but didn’t finish it. He rubbed his neck, looked down to the floor then up to the ceiling and then to his side. Everywhere but at Magnus. “Was he right?”

Magnus raised one eyebrow, waiting for Alexander to specify what he meant. “About what?”

“Did you come to see me?”

Magnus froze. Had he? Maybe he’d just wanted to be kind. He hadn’t had anything else to do and the bag with sandwiches had stood on the counter, begging to be brought to its rightful owner. And it wasn’t like it was a pleasure to stand with Alexander in awkward silence. On the other hand, he could not possibly fear those awkward silences either because he had definitely not been trying to avoid those interactions or else he wouldn’t be here now. Alexander wouldn’t have starved if Magnus hadn’t come. There was an excellent bakery right down on the next corner and the man always carried some money with him and even if he’d forgotten that too he could have borrowed some from one of his colleagues. No, if he’d really wanted to avoid Alexander he wouldn’t be standing next to him at this moment. But had he been actively seeking him out? Had he come only to see him once more? The easy thing to be would be to lie and just say no but Magnus didn’t want that. There were enough lies in his life right now and he couldn’t use another. 

“I don’t know. Maybe,” he told him the truth. It was a small confession but it was a confession nonetheless and somehow that lifted a burden off of Magnus’s shoulders. Alexander already knew that Magnus felt something at least, he’d given that much away when he’d tried to kiss him and although he didn’t know the extent of Magnus’s feelings the fact that Alexander wasn’t completely oblivious helped him to make this small confession. Magnus would kiss him if given the chance so it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if he might have come to the precinct just to see him. 

The more he thought about it the more he was certain that this was exactly what he’d done. He’d come to see Alexander. He straightened himself.

“Yes. Yes, I came to see you,” he admitted.

He risked a look to see how Alexander reacted to his words. There wasn’t a trace of disgust in his features. Instead it looked almost like… relief? Magnus was more than confused but he tried not to let it show. 

“I’m glad,” Alexander told him and made Magnus’s heart beat a little faster with doing so. “I don’t-,” he continued, “I don’t want us to… to- I don’t want to lose you. I mean our friendship.” He ran a hand through his hair and huffed in frustration. “I just don’t want to have things awkward between us. You’re my best friend and I trust you more than any other person. I know you’re mad at me but I’m truly sorry, you have to believe me.”

There was something pleading in Alexander’s hazel eyes that would have kept Magnus from having any doubts even if he would have wanted to. 

“I do. I believe you. And to be honest I don’t want things to be awkward between us as well.” _But I’m still hurt about the way you rejected me. But I can’t help but be in love with you and it’s making things harder for me than it should. But you can’t even bear to touch me now that you know that I feel more for you than you do for me._

A million endings to that sentence rushed through his mind but he let them all run into nothingness. As much as it hurt to be with Alexander and be reminded of what he could never have the alternative, not to be with him at all, would hurt much more. At least this was a pain he could endure. 

“So we’re good again?” Alexander asked. 

They weren’t, not really, but Magnus nodded nonetheless. “We’re good again.”

Alexander sighed in relief and smiled one of his rare but all-the-more-precious smiles.

“Good.”

Magnus didn’t have to force himself to return the smile. He may not feel very happy but seeing that Alexander was made the corners of his mouth turn up all on their own. 

“I should head back home and let you get back to work.” He took a step back into the direction of the exit without turning around quite yet.

“Yes, of course,” Alexander agreed. “Oh, and thanks again, for the lunch,” he said for the third time.

“That’s what a good fiancé does, isn’t it?” Magnus joked.

For a second he thought he saw Alexander’s smile dampen with the comment. He decided not to think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was it! I have no idea when the next chapter will be up but don't expect it too soon because I'm guessing it's going to be crazy long. I have big plans for these boys!
> 
> Also, we are aproximately three quarters through with this. I have about three more chapters planned and another one shot from Alec's perspective. However, I won't make any promises because my projects tend to grow far bigger than I originally planned for them to be. 
> 
> My beta is the sweetest cutie pie and a total badass who somehow finds the time to go through all my nonsense between her studies. ([Her tumblr](https://sheet-faced.tumblr.com/), [her blog](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/))


	9. Fuck Couches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who would have thought that a simple couch would set so much in motion?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry. I know it's been ages (about three months, I think) since I last updated. In my defense, at first I was wrapped up in [a new project](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12576432/chapters/28645740) and then I was heads deep in preparations for a big trip that I've been meaning to do for some time now and for which I worked my ass off (basically I'll be travelling for six months). It's a Christmas miracle that I actually finished it at all haha! Anyway, enough of my excuses and let's get to it.
> 
> Happy Holidays and greetings from Vietnam  
> \- Vi

Over the course of the next two weeks they established a routine. Since they had already spent almost all of their free time with each other for the last five years even before they had moved in together, there were a lot of things that just went unspoken. Magnus liked to shower in the evening, Alexander in the morning. Magnus cooked if he had the time and when possible Alexander helped. They tried to take turns with doing the dishes but most times it ended up being Alexander who didn’t loathe the task as much as Magnus did. Meanwhile, the laundry was done by whoever just happened to have the time on his hands. 

But it was also small things like getting ready for work together; something their friendship hadn’t known prior to their domestic life.

Alexander’s working schedule always switched between day and night shifts so he didn’t always have to get up at the same time as Magnus did. But most times they got out of bed together anyway because Alexander was a light sleeper who woke up whenever Magnus did and often didn’t bother to go back to sleep after that; Magnus soon grew accustomed to the extra warmth that brought another person in the bed and quickly got cold without it. The only exception was when Alexander had had a long night shift the day before, which was in such a deep sleep that nothing could wake him, not that Magnus would try to. He could never disturb his friend when he lied there like that, all soft and innocent.

Sharing a bed wasn’t as awkward as Magnus had feared. It was nice, actually, to have the presence of a warm and breathing body next to him.

He even got used to Alexander’s snores. The first few nights it had kept him awake until exhaustion had forced him into sleep which had led to him being tired and moody at work and consuming more caffeine than was probably good for him. He had considered buying ear plugs but instead he had learned how to let the rhythmic sound lull him into sleep as he breathed in sync with it. Now he thought it to be calming, even.

After they would get up, Alexander would disappear into the bathroom to take a shower and Magnus would walk into the kitchen to feed the Chairman and make breakfast. By the time he was ready Alexander would emerge from the bathroom again with his hair still damp. They’d eat together, maybe update each other on things that had to be done that day, like picking up groceries after work or taking the Chairman to the vet for his annual routine check-up.

That day it was a reminder from Magnus that the new couch would be delivered that afternoon.

“You bought a new couch?” Alexander asked, his spoon stopping half-way to his mouth.

“Yes, I told you about it, remember? I think it was the same day you told me that we’d be living together for a while.”

Alexander’s face scrunched up in thought. “But that was like two weeks ago.”

“Three. I know, they’re taking forever. The shipment is coming from Europe and first they sent it to the wrong address and the couch ended up somewhere in Japan which is the completely opposite direction from where it should have gone… it’s one hell of an ordeal. Anyway, it arrives today. I’m going to head home early from work but if I don’t make it on time, do you think you could sign for it?”

Alexander had the day off but Magnus had no idea whether the man would be home or out and Magnus didn’t think it wise to assume.

“Sure, no problem. I don’t have any plans today.”

Magnus smiled in gratitude and relief and Alexander mirrored the motion before both of them went back to eating their breakfast.

 

-

 

Of course Magnus got held up at work. Someone had knocked over a pile of newly ordered files and Magnus had to clean up the mess because apparently, he was the only one capable of doing so. 

When he finally arrived at home the couch was already there, Alexander waiting right next to it. Only the delivery men were not. 

"Hey, sorry I'm late, I got held up," he greeted his friend. Confused he looked left and right as if the people that had brought his couch might be hidden somewhere. "Where are the delivery people?"

"They bailed the second I signed to confirm that the couch had arrived at its destination."

"But it hasn't. My flat is its destination and the entrance hall is not my flat. What is it doing here?"

"They said that they weren't paid for that."

"That's ridiculous." Magnus pulled out his phone, searching for the confirmation mail that he'd gotten from the company after he'd placed the order. "I specifically asked for delivery service to my flat!" He found the mail and clicked on it, scanning it quickly with his eyes. "I forgot to ask for delivery service to my flat," he realized upon reading the mail again. "God, I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry, darling."

Alexander had been standing next to him, watching him with amusement in his eyes. Now he raised his hand as though to stop Magnus from apologizing. 

"It's okay, Magnus. It happens. I already called Jace and Izzy and they'll drop by after work to help get this thing up the stairs. Do you know what you really should do though? Call someone because of the elevator. You live on the sixth floor and it's been broken for ages now."

Magnus sighed, relaxing a little when he saw that Alexander really didn't look bothered by the fact that they now had to somehow get a 400 pound, three seater sofa up six floors. 

"Yes, I should probably do that... well then, I guess there's nothing left to do but to wait, right?"

"Right. Want to try out the couch?"

A grin spread on Magnus face without him having to think about it. 

"With pleasure, darling."

In sync, they both let themselves drop into the cushions. Magnus couldn't help but let a soft moan escape his lips when he sunk into the soft pillows.

"This is heaven," he sighed. 

Alexander hummed in agreement next to him. 

"Work today has been awful. We have a new intern and he somehow manages to screw up everything he touches. Today he accidentally deleted all the files for the Marshall case, spilled coffee on the blueprints and shredded a copy of the new contract, “by mistake”, and all of that before lunch, mind you. I really don't know how to deal with him but I can't throw him out either because he's the son of the woman for whom we're building the theatre so it's all a big mess. Luckily he'll be gone in a few weeks and then maybe we can get some actual work done."

"I'm sure you'll find a way to work around this. You always do," Alexander encouraged him.

"Maybe," Magnus pondered, "but not without sacrificing even the last of my nerves. Ever since that kid started working for us I've been so tense that I think I pulled a muscle in my back or something," he whined. As if to underline his words he stretched and leaned forward to massage his shoulder.

"Here, let me help," Alexander offered. Softly he brushed Magnus's hand away and started massaging his shoulder himself instead. Magnus was so startled that he let it happen and, God, Alexander really knew what he was doing. Magnus had had no idea that his friend had such capable hands or else he would have tried to get a massage earlier. 

With a sigh Magnus moved closer to Alexander, leaning into the touch. He closed his eyes and hummed in appreciation. For a while he just enjoyed the feeling of his muscles loosening and blood circulating again but then Alexander's hands began to stray from the sore spot in Magnus's shoulder. At first, he began to massage in wider circles around the spot, then he massaged the other shoulder as well and it didn't take long until he was running his hands all over Magnus's back in slow, calculated movements. 

They were so close Magnus was practically sitting in his friend's lap. He was sure that if he leaned back just a little more he would be able to feel Alexander's breath on his neck and at the mere thought of that he had to suppress a shiver. 

Suddenly he was aware of his own breathing and posture and he almost didn't dare to move for fear that the slightest twitch could be mistaken as a sign of rejection and lead Alexander to stop. Which was the last thing he wanted. 

Every touch suddenly felt a hundred times more intense, almost electric. Alexander's fingertips were charged with a thousand volt that now bolted through Magnus's body, leaving him paralyzed.

"Hope we're not interrupting anything?" a female voice resounded from behind Magnus. Startled he turned around, automatically bringing some space between him and Alexander. 

Isabelle stood in front of him, a cheeky smile on her lips and Solomon standing by her side. 

"What are you doing here?" Alexander blurted out.

"You called me, remember?" Isabelle reminded her brother with laughter in her eyes. "We're here to help you move that couch to Magnus's apartment. Jace couldn't make it but I brought a stand-in."

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "And you really think dear Samuel can serve as a replacement for blondie? No offence, but his arms are maybe half the size of Jonathan's."

"No, I think he can do it," Isabelle insisted, sounding determined. Magnus and Alexander shared a short, disbelieving look but they both knew when not to argue with Isabelle any further and this was one of the times.

"Alright, everyone," Sheldon announced, clapping his hands once and grinning with far more glee and enthusiasm than entirely necessary for the situation. "Let's get this baby up the stairs."

 

-

 

"You need to push!"

"I _am_ pushing!"

"Well then, push harder!" 

Simon and Magnus stood at the bottom of the couch, trying to boost it up the stairs whilst the two Lightwood siblings stood at the top, trying to pull it into their direction. Magnus had the slight suspicion that Sheldon and he had received the worse job. 

Alexander kept scrutinizing poor Skylar from where he stood and there was a part of Magnus that agreed with him because at the moment he felt like he was carrying the whole weight of the couch alone. There was no way that a piece of furniture could weigh that much when you split the burden by four. 

However, Magnus had to admit that Sherwin was doing better than expected. He seemed determined to get this couch all the way up to Magnus's apartment. Which was... still an impossibly long way to go. They had only made half the way so far and Magnus's muscles were already on fire.

"Alright, guys, let's take a break," Isabelle insisted when they had conquered yet another flight of stairs.

They all obeyed instantly. Stretching to relieve their aching backs and trying to catch their breaths.

"What kind of monster did you buy, Magnus?" Sahan asked, wheezing.

"The kind that was supposed to be carried upstairs by the delivery people," Magnus retorted. 

No one knew what to say then and so they all stood in silence for a few minutes, trying to catch their breaths.

"Ready for round two?" Alexander asked when their breathing slowed down again. 

Magnus smirked. "Sure. But this time I'll be on top."

Isabelle bit her lip to hide a grin whilst her brother only frowned in confusion.

"The couch, darling," Magnus explained. "I want to switch positions carrying it upstairs. Don't worry, you'll make yourself wonderful at the bottom."

Alexander's face cleared and a faint blush coloured his cheeks although he rolled his eyes at the innuendo.

Without a word, he moved to stand next to Serkej and Magnus went to help Isabelle pull the couch up the stairs.

Finally, they managed to budge the couch into Magnus's apartment and place it where he wanted it to be before they all collapsed onto it. 

"Never again," Alexander groaned. "This couch will stay here for as long as you live here because there is no way that we are going to move it ever again." 

"Agreed," Isabelle backed her brother up and let her head fall onto the backrest, closing her eyes from exhaustion.

"Gotta give it to you though, man," Simon stepped in, "this couch is amazing. I feel like I'm sitting on a cloud that's made out of sunshine and cotton candy." He sighed and smiled to himself.

"Well, it better do after all the trouble I went through for it and now you too. It cost me quite a bit as well," Magnus answered.

For a minute, they all just sat there, slouched down and cuddled together. Alexander was pressed up close to him but he was too tired to pay it any attention, just enjoying the feeling of being close to him. 

"How about I order pizza for all of us? As a thank you," Magnus offered.

"Yes! Pizza!" came Stewart's weak try of reviving his old enthusiasm. He pushed a fist up in the air to underline his words.

Isabelle and Alexander showed their support as well and so, after a quick discussion about which toppings they should choose, Magnus put out the order.

The pizza didn't take long to arrive and Alexander graciously sacrificed himself by volunteering to get up and let the pizza guy inside. They stuffed themselves until every last crumb was devoured and they could feel an uncomfortable yet satisfying pressure on their stomachs from having eaten too much.

"Do you know what we all need now?" Magnus asked into the round.

"Twelve hours of good sleep?" Steven suggested.

"A good cup of tea. I'll go and put on the kettle." With nothing but sheer amount of willpower he forced himself up from the couch and its heavenly comfort and dragged himself into the kitchen.

Like with most things in his life he liked to keep a certain aesthetic in his kitchen. Everything there was modern, yet classy and stylish. That's why he had bought himself a high-functioning kettle that you only had to fill up with water and plug into a power source and in a few seconds, you had perfectly boiled water. 

Unfortunately, it had disappeared and been replaced by an old-fashioned kettle that looked like it had jumped right out of one of these old British movies and which has long ago left its best days behind. The riddle of this sudden though mysterious replacement had yet to be solved but Magnus had strong suspicions as to who the culprit was as it had conveniently taken place whilst Ragnor had paid him one of his weekly visits from London. Of course, his old friend denied any responsibility but Magnus was certain that there had to be some kind of proof of his guilt.

Until then the old kettle worked just fine. 

It still took way longer for the water to boil though so he already got out his special tea mix and prepared the pot. This being done he still had time and since he didn't want to stand around whilst waiting for the water to boil he returned to the couch and fell back into his space between Isabelle and Alexander. Just when he had contently snuggled back into his position he heard the kettle screaming. He groaned.

"Relax, I'll get it," Isabelle stopped him before he could get up.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Alec got up for the pizza guy, you got up next, now it's my turn. Besides, I just have to turn off the stove and pour water into the pot. How hard can it be?"

Magnus thanked her with a sleepy smile of his that she answered with a wink of hers before she disappeared into the kitchen.

What followed were five minutes of utter silence. Magnus shared a confused look with Alexander.

"Izzy? Is everything alright?" her brother called. 

Another few seconds of silence passed before Isabelle re-emerged from the kitchen with a guilty look on her face.

Magnus frowned. "What happened, darling? Is everything okay?"

Without a word, she presented him what he hadn't noticed she'd been hiding behind her back. It was a small, round piece of plastic, maybe measuring two inches in every direction. Magnus just stared at it without understanding what exactly she was trying to tell him. Then, suddenly his expression cleared as he realized what she was holding in her hand. Something that she definitely shouldn't be holding in her hand. Something that definitely no one should be holding in their hands. Something that definitely very much belonged to Magnus's stove, tightly secured. It was the button with which one could regulate the temperature of the stove.

"I'm so sorry, Magnus. I don't know how it happened. I really am a total disaster in the kitchen." 

Magnus stared at the button in her hand, one eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"How the ever-loving hell did you manage to do that?"

"I have no idea! I just turned off the stove and suddenly the button came off! I guess I must have used a little too much force? I didn't know you had to be so careful with those things..."

Isabelle seemed seriously distressed by the situation which was enough to replace any anger he might have felt because of the damage with compassion. 

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart. I'm sure we can get it fixed. Is the stove still on?"

Isabelle shook her head. "No, I managed to turn it off before it broke off."

"That's good. I think I still have the number of the company that sold me the kitchen. I'll just call them and they'll send someone over to get it done."

Isabelle seemed relieved by the statement and the fact that Magnus didn't appear to be mad at her. Still, she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. 

"I really am very sorry. I'll pay for the reparations of course."

He dismissed her offer with a wave of his hand. "Don't you dare, darling. I'm sure the button was about to come off anyway. It could have happened to anyone. If you want to make up for it, however, you can always bring the tea?"

Isabelle smiled and nodded. She disappeared into the kitchen only to return with four cups, another run and she got the tea pot as well. Sven leaned forward to serve the tea whilst Isabelle sat back down on the couch. 

After they all drank their tea Alexander, Isabelle and Sheldon went on to find something interesting on Netflix whilst Magnus disappeared into the bedroom to call the kitchen company because of the stove.

Twenty minutes later he returned with bad news.

"First things first: There is no need to feel bad, my dear Isabelle. The accident was definitely not your fault. Apparently, the stove type I have is prone to this sort of happening. Unfortunately, they cannot get it fixed because it's a special type, blah blah blah, I wasn't listening to that part. Fact is: they need to replace the whole thing. Good news: I still have a guarantee on it so they're doing it for free. They're sending someone over tomorrow between three and five pm."

Alexander furrowed his brows. "Guess we'll have to reschedule the shopping trip then."

Magnus had almost forgotten about that. "Right, that was tomorrow. I'm sure we'll find another day."

Alexander nodded slowly, deep in thought. "I won't be able to make the next two weekends but I could ask Luke if maybe I can switch shifts with someone the weekend after that?"

"Wait, does that mean I spoiled your free day together?" Isabelle seemed more distressed than ever. 

Alexander immediately switched into his big brother mode. "You didn't spoil anything, Iz. Magnus and I will just reschedule the trip. And we still have a free evening to spend together."

"That's right," Magnus jumped to his help. "Raphael recommended a high-end restaurant to me some while ago that I wanted to try out for some time now. We could do that instead."

This seemed to soothe Isabelle since her features lit up in interest. "Oh, that sounds nice! Mom has been complaining about not being able to find a good restaurant for ages now. Tell me if it's any good, then I can recommend it to her."

Magnus smiled and nodded. He hadn't actually planned to go to that restaurant with Alexander even though Raphael really had recommended the place to him some time ago. But now this plan sounded as good as any other and, truly, who was he to avoid a dinner date with Alexander?

"Of course," he assured her and the plan was settled.

 

-

 

The day of their dinner date went like any other day spent with Alexander. They got up together, they had breakfast together, they worked next to each other in silence, they watched a movie together and then they worked some more next to each other in silence, except for the occasional comment from either one's side.

The stove was brought in around half past five pm and although the guys that delivered it weren't from the friendly sort they were efficient and switched out the stoves surprisingly fast.

After he closed the door behind them again he glanced at the watch hanging from his wall. There was about an hour left before they had to leave. If he didn't want to rush getting ready he had to get started now. 

Suddenly the nerves hit him hard. This was a date. It was a date in every sense except for the one where they had agreed that it was one. But it would be only Alexander and him, sitting in a high-end restaurant, dressed to the tops and eating high-end food by candlelight. 

Taking a deep breath Magnus walked into the bathroom. He quickly showered, enjoying the feeling of the hot water massaging his back and loosening his muscles a little. As he towelled himself dry he already felt more in control of the situation. So what if this was a date? Magnus had experience with dates. He'd had more than enough in his life time and he knew what to do. All the conversation starters, all the go-to topics and easy flirts were engraved in his head like the alphabet. It was second nature to him and he would be damned if he would fail this time. Alexander may be his best friend who also happened to be the man he was deeply in love with but that was literally no reason to be nervous. At all. 

And the nerves were back again. This felt too odd. On the one hand, this was his best friend, the person he trusted most and spending time with him was easy and enjoyable. On the other hand, the setting was all wrong. This would be a candlelight-dinner at a fancy place with soothing music in the background and just the two of them. There was no denying that that was part of what he wanted with Alexander, going on dates and being romantic but dating was supposed to give you the opportunity to get to know the other person only Magnus and Alexander already knew everything about each other. It was as though through all these years of friendship they had skipped the part of the awkward getting-to-know-each-other. This was probably an all-together stupid idea. Alexander had already refused him in the past and also most recently when Magnus had tried to kiss him. He put so much at risk here because he was too stupid and too selfish to be satisfied with what he'd got. Instead he tried again and again and a part of Magnus knew that he wouldn't stop trying until he either succeeded or watched everything he loved crash and burn. 

Deep in thought Magnus had automatically started his usual make-up routine. Just when he reached for his black eyeliner he hesitated. Instead he chose a turquoise one. He rarely ever used it since the colour, as much as he loved it, didn't go well with most of his clothes. In fact, he used it so rarely that he could remember the exact time he had used it last. It had been seven months ago. Before Isabelle's break-up with Meliorn, before the night where they had gotten drunk and engaged and before they had decided to just go with it and keep on pretending. 

Alexander had picked Magnus up after work that night and they had walked around Brooklyn and gotten Chinese takeout that they had eaten on a bench next to the Hudson River. They had talked about everything and nothing and laughed about the stupidest of things well into the night until it got too cold to keep on sitting outside. Nothing much had happened that night but it was still one of Magnus's favourite memories that he shared with Alexander and he always remembered it with fondness. 

He perfected his make-up and quickly styled his hair, spiking it up at the front like he often did. When he went to choose his outfit for the evening he picked a dark turquoise shirt with a high neck. He missed his low-cut shirts that showed off his chest but he had none that would make the eyeliner justice and as such he contented himself with the rich embroideries that his shirt showed off instead. A floral pattern of silver thread running all over the fabric.

Taking one last look into the mirror he nodded to himself. He looked well. He looked more than well. He looked amazing. He could do this. Feeling a little more confident now that he was dressed to the tops he stepped out of his wardrobe. 

Alexander must have gotten ready in the bathroom whilst Magnus had been busy picking out his outfit because he was already good to go. 

Magnus let his eyes wander appreciatively over his friend's outfit. Alexander had listened to him when Magnus had told him that since they were going to a fancy restaurant he had to dress accordingly. He was showcasing a black suit with a dark blue button up and had combed his hair so that it lay neatly to his head. It evoked the urge in Magnus to run his hands through his hair to ruffle it up a bit again but he ignored it. There was no need to start out this evening more awkward than it had to be. 

"My, Alexander, don't you look handsome?" he purred. Just like he had hoped a tender blush appeared on his friend's cheeks. 

"You look amazing," he retorted. 

Magnus smiled. "Thank you, darling. Are you ready?"

He mirrored his smile. “Yes, I'm good to go." 

"Oh, wait," Magnus interrupted, something occurring to him. He walked back into his wardrobe and returned with a dark red tie in his hands. 

He held it out to Alexander. "Here, this should complete your outfit."

Alexander took it but hesitated. "Eh, I don't really know how to..." he didn't finish the sentence but Magnus understood him nonetheless. 

Wordless he took the tie out of his grasp again and motioned for Alexander to put up the collar of his shirt. Then he stepped closer and wrapped the red band around his neck, knotting a simple Windsor. When he was done he patted Alexander's chest once, letting his hand linger on the spot just a little too long before stepping back again. 

"There, all set."

 

-

 

The drive to the restaurant took them no more than twenty minutes but that was enough time for Magnus to start playing with the rings on his fingers; a nervous habit that he'd picked up ages ago when he had first started wearing jewellery. 

The place was just like you would imagine a high-end restaurant to look like. It was a tall building with large windows and a wide, fancy-looking entrance. Alexander handed the key to the parking service and then they were both led to the elevator after telling the receptionist their names for the reservation.

Magnus knew that there was probably a waiting list that went on for months for this restaurant but he had called in a favour from Raphael who had thrown a fuss about how Magnus couldn't come to him and demand that Raphael abused his position like that and how restaurants like that didn't just 'happen to have an extra table for two', even if Raphael would personally ask them for it and then ultimately made the call and told him that Magnus was one kind of a lucky bastard because the restaurant did indeed happen to have an extra table for two because a couple had just cancelled their reservations. 

The interior was just as pompous as the exterior had promised it to be. Red carpet, round tables, white table cloths and one wall completely made out of glass, revealing a breath-taking view on the city. The room was filled with the low sound of amiable chatter and the clinking of cutlery. 

They were led to a small table situated right at the glass wall. It was an amazing spot and Magnus supposed that the owner of the restaurant wanted to impose whoever was friends with the famous Raphael Santiago.

"Would you like to order the prix fixe menu or á la carte?"

Magnus could see Alexander's panicked gaze snap to him in an instant, clearly clueless about what either of those terms meant. 

"We'll have the prix fixe menu please. And whatever wine the house recommends."

The waitress smiled, nodded and left to pass the order on to the chef.

"How are you so good at this?" Alexander asked him, suspicion in his voice but awe in his eyes.

"Darling, did you really think Raphael would let me anywhere near a fancy restaurant whose reservations he made for me without forcing me to learn some proper behaviour? His fear to be ridiculed by me is much too strong."

Alexander snorted. "You know he's actually proud to be your friend and if anyone would complain about you, he'd probably rip them to shreds."

Magnus shrugged, embarrassed but flattered by the thought. 

"So, what did you order?" Alexander changed the topic.

"I have no idea," Magnus admitted, glad for the change of topic. 

His friend frowned. "What do you mean you have no idea? You just ordered, like one second ago."

"Every restaurant of the high-end class has one set meal of the day which consist of several courses. You can either order that or you order á la carte, which just means that you can choose a single or several meals individually off the menu."

"So, you ordered the prix fixe menu because that was the one term you remembered from Raphael's lessons?" Alexander checked.

Magnus saw no point in denying it. "Do you have any idea how boring it is to hear him talk about gastronomy? He goes on for hours and hours. Once he gets started there is no end in sight!"

Alexander stifled a laugh and shook his head in amused disbelief. "You're impossible."

Magnus pouted. The waitress chose that same moment to return with their wine.

"How come you don't know anything about restaurants of that kind? I would have thought with a childhood like yours this would feel like home to you."

"Well, you're right, in a way. I was forced to go to quite a few places like this as a kid. And also as a teenager. But my parents always ordered for me and I never bothered to listen to them so I was caught a bit off guard there. Besides-"

He stopped himself as the waitress returned yet again with two platters of food. Curious Magnus glanced at his own plate and... was left with his mouth standing open.

"What is that?" he asked, shook to the bone.

"Oysters," Alexander answered, seemingly unfazed.

"I can see that. I'm just wondering what I'm supposed to do with three tiny oysters? Is that supposed to fill a grown man?"

Alexander stifled a laugh. "It's less about filling your stomach and more about the taste. Also, you will be served several courses so if you'd stuff yourself with the first one then there would be no more room left for the others."

Magnus's expression darkened. "Let's just hope that the main course will look a lot bigger."

The main course was not a lot bigger. The food was delicious, that much was true but when dessert neared Magnus felt like he hadn't eaten more than a simple appetizer, much to his friend's amusement. 

"You are so cruel. Laughing about my suffering. I'm starving, Alexander! I'm wasting away to nothing!"

Alexander shook his head, his whole body shaking with silent laughter. 

"I can't believe you're this surprised about the size of the portions. It's like that in literally every high-end restaurant you'll ever encounter."

"Well, Raphael keeps recommending me places but I've never actually been to any of them up until now. And now I think I never will again. This is ridiculous. How could you ever stand it?"

Alexander shrugged. "As a kid, I endured it because I was eager to please my parents and then I haven't been to any of those places again after the dinner at which I came out to my parents."

Magnus's eyes widened in surprise. He knew that Alexander's history of coming out was a rather turbulent one. First, he had been rejected by both of his parents with his father threatening to disown him if he didn't 'forget all about that nonsense' and never spoke of it again. He had been kicked out of the house and after a few days of finding shelter at a family friend's house his mother had paid him a visit, telling him that he could come home again if he wanted to and that he wouldn't be disowned and that his parents would try to accept him and his sexuality as they were, even if it might take some time. Alexander had thanked her but kept staying at his friend's house until after he graduated high school where he went away to college as soon as he could. 

Only Magnus hadn't known where it had all taken place. He looked around as though this had been the exact same restaurant where Alexander had come out to his parents. He tried to picture him sitting at one of the tastefully decorated tables, still just a boy and trying to gather up the courage to reveal a secret he had been keeping for years. 

He imagined him being rejected in cold blood. All hope for acceptance shattered on the spot. Magnus gulped. Restaurants like these must hold terrible memories for Alexander.

"I'm so sorry."

Alexander shrugged but didn't meet his eye. "It was a long time ago."

"That doesn't make it any more right," Magnus argued softly.

His friend didn't answer.

"Do you want to get out of here and find something where they serve proper portions?"

At those words Alexander's eyes snapped up and a grin slowly spread on his face, lighting up his eyes.

"Hell yeah."

 

-

 

They paid right after dessert and quickly left. After they walked a few blocks around the city they found a small, comfortable-looking Chinese place that was hidden between an Italian restaurant and an over-priced bar. 

It was well-visited but not overly crowded and so they quickly snatched themselves a place at a more private corner. Hungrily, Magnus grabbed the menu, his eyes scanning the different options and trying to decide which one he liked best.

"Tell me, what sounds better? Duck in peanut sauce or fried chicken with chilli?"

"I could take the one and you the other and then we could share?" Alexander offered.

Magnus looked up, his face displaying nothing but complete sincerity as he murmured: "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done to me."

Alexander snorted. "Isn't that a bit dramatic?"

Magnus raised an eyebrow in return. "Have you met me?"

Although they had decided that sharing was the best plan Magnus found around five other things on the menu that he wanted to try out so they ended up with way too much food on a table that was meant for only two people and had to move to one that was supposed to be for four people so that all the plates and bowls could fit on there.

They ate until they were so stuffed they could barely breathe and even then, most of the food was left over. It seemed like not even Magnus's hunger was enough to conquer the sheer volume of what they had ordered. 

"I don't think I'll ever be able to eat anything ever again."

"You know, I think this time you might be right. I can't move," Alexander groaned. 

The waitress came to collect their empty plates.

"Could you wrap us the rest up to take way?" Magnus asked and was rewarded with a nod and smile.

They ordered something to drink afterwards (beer for Alexander and a martini for Magnus) and simply sat there for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s company.

That was until Magnus's eyes that had been wandering around the room suddenly were caught by something hanging from the wall not far from their table. Alexander noticed that Magnus's attention had been caught by something and followed his gaze. He could practically see the same idea forming in his friend's mind that he had.

"Would you like to play?" he suggested, nodding towards the dartboard he'd spotted.

Alexander didn't answer but he didn't have to. His grin was answer enough. Together they got up and moved to the dartboard.

"I bet I'm a better at darts than you are," Magnus challenged his friend with a daring smirk on his lips.

"Yeah?" Alexander mocked, clearly doubting his words.

"Yeah," Magnus insisted.

"I think you're forgetting that I was junior archery champion," he reminded him.

Magnus dismissed his argument with a wave of his hand. "I think you're forgetting that you were seventeen back then, so it's been a while. And this isn't archery, it's darts. Totally different."

Alexander snorted, eyes shining with amusement. "Is that so?"

"Yes, it is. Unless you're too afraid to take me up on the challenge?"

Now Alexander's ambition was sparked. "Oh, it's on, Bane."

"What do I get when I win?" Magnus asked, wanting to establish the rules of the game before playing.

"What do you want?"

_A kiss._

The thought shot through Magnus's mind without him having any control over it and if he were more prone to blushing he was sure his cheeks would have turned cherry red. Lucky him Magnus Bane didn't blush.

"Loser pays for the drinks?" he suggested.

"It's a deal."

They shook hands on it. 

 

-

 

"How did we drink this much?" Magnus asked, still shocked by the bill that had been presented to him. They had already left the restaurant and were now on their way back to Magnus's, deciding that to walk the few blocks since they could both use some fresh air.

"You shouldn't have kept playing or else you only would have had to pay for one round."

"And lose my honour by not asking for a revenge?"

"So, by losing twenty rounds in a row you managed to keep your honour?"

"Indeed I did. I may have lost my dignity in the process but my honour is still intact and those are two completely different things. The latter being the more important one, of course."

Alexander snorted and fell into a fit of giggles. "You're ridiculous," he laughed.

"I'm adorable," Magnus argued.

"Yes, you are."

Magnus's head shot up at that comment. Alexander had said it lowly, almost like a sigh and for a second Magnus wasn't sure if he'd heard him right, his mind dizzy and drowsed by the alcohol. 

He decided that it really didn't matter if maybe he'd heard him wrong because the thought alone that Alexander might have agreed with him already managed to make him happy. He smiled and, just because he wanted to, he linked his arm with Alexander's. 

His friend swayed a little when Magnus put his weight on him, his buzzed brain not fast enough to react properly but soon he caught himself. He put one hand upon Magnus arm and they feel into the same rhythm of steps. 

Yes, Magnus liked this. 

Way too soon they arrived at Magnus's apartment. 

Magnus fumbled for his keys whilst Alexander leaned against the wood of the door, watching him searching through first his front pockets and then his back pockets before remembering that he had put them into his jacket. 

"Are you going to ask me upstairs?" Alexander grinned, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively though his gaze was a little unfocused.

Magnus leaned into him, playing into the game and purring: "Well, I would but you already live here."

Alexander's face lit up. "You're right!" A slow smile spread out on his face as though he had actually forgotten about that little fact and the memory made him happy.

Magnus snorted. He wondered how drunk Alexander really was. Magnus had had the harder alcohol and was feeling rather tipsy but he had a much higher tolerance than Alexander so he guessed his friend would feel about the same, if not a little more buzzed even.

He turned the key and opened the door. Both of them stumbled upstairs, giggling and shushing each other to be quiet so that they wouldn't wake the neighbours and being all the more loud doing so, in a way that only drunk people could do.

They both raced each other the last three flights of stairs, Magnus soon taking the lead and ending up on the sixth floor, completely out of breath, whilst Alexander still had a whole flight to go. 

Triumphantly he stood on top of the stairs and grinned down onto his friend who dragged himself up one step at a time now that there was no use in going fast anymore.

"Screw darts, I'm still the faster runner out of the two of us."

Alexander had now almost reached Magnus. He looked like he wanted to respond with something but before he could his foot slipped under him and he would have fallen if Magnus hadn't reached out last second to grab his arm and pull him up. They were now both standing on top of the stairs, right at the edge of the last step. And they were standing impossibly close together. Their breaths mingled and without Magnus thinking much about it his gaze dropped down to Alexander's lips. 

He had pretty lips. Plush and pink and incredibly kissable.

Magnus had no idea whatever in the name of everything that was holy convinced him to do what he did next but in retrospect he supposed that it was probably the alcohol.

He leaned forward to capture Alexander's lips with his who took a step back to avoid Magnus but his foot found no even ground and before Magnus could do anything about it Alexander fell all the way down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was it for now! Any thoughts? Leave them in the comments!
> 
> All the love to my beta and personal Christmas angel, May. ([Her tumblr](https://an-indecisive-fangirl.tumblr.com/), [her blog](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/))
> 
> Visit me on [tumblr](https://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/)!


	10. Fuck Bad Timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whaaaat it's only been three months?? That's one whole month less of what it took me last time!! Yeah, yeah, I know I'm late. Let's just pretend this is a late Valentine's Day gift. 
> 
> IMPORTANT:
> 
> If you've left me a comment asking me to update, this is for you! I'm flattered that you like my story enough to want to know what happens next. However, a much more effective way of motivating me is to tell me why you liked it. Please be assured that I will update anyway, no matter what. But sometimes it takes me a while. I don't delay an update out of ill intent. It's just that I don't always have the time to write. I'm currently on a big trip through South East Asia and sometimes that means that I'm on the road almost every day and when I'm not I'm out exploring stuff. I try to squeeze in as much writing time as possible but it doesn't always work. Thank you for your understanding. Sending you all my love from Thailand!
> 
> \- Vi
> 
>  
> 
> Btw, this includes two OCs. Sorry.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood," Magnus repeated for what felt like the tenth time. "I want to know where he is. Just tell me," he pestered the nurse at the reception. 

They had been stuck in the waiting room for more than two hours whilst Alexander had been bleeding from a cut to his forehead. The rush of adrenaline had momentarily cleared their heads form the intoxication but as Magnus slowly felt the dizziness return to him, he got up to get the two of them some coffee, and maybe some water too. But when he returned, Alexander was no longer where he had left him.

Panicking, he ran up to the reception where the nurse was annoyingly reluctant to give away any information. She told him that Alexander was being stitched up at the moment but didn't want to tell him more.

"Please, just wait for a few minutes. I'm sure he'll be out in a second," the nurse tried to pacify him half-heartedly. Her monotonous voice and bored expression dampened the effect considerably though.

"I'm his fiancé," Magnus reached for the last straw. "That makes me family, right? I have the right to know where you're keeping my husband-to-be."

The nurse sighed in defeat and typed a few things into her computer. "He's in room three with Doctor Strauss," she told him.

"Thank you," he said, meaning it every bit. If the nurse responded, he didn't know because he was already on his way to search for the right room. It didn't take him long and, completely forgetting to knock, he barged into the room.

Alexander sat on a stretcher, the doctor hovering above him. At Magnus's entrance both looked up in surprise. 

"Who are you?" the doctor asked, stunned. Magnus ignored her and walked up to his friend.

"Are you okay?"

Alexander nodded. He looked tired but not worse than before except that now the ugly cut on his forehead wore several stitches.

"You can't be in here," the doctor stuttered, her face reddening in anger.

"I'm his fiancé," Magnus used the same excuse as before, the lie slipping easily off his tongue.

"Please, I want him to stay," Alexander pleaded. Magnus's heart skipped a beat and Doctor Strauss's face softened.

"Well then, it's okay, I guess," she sighed.

They both thanked her but she just shrugged. 

"Considering how you barged in here I doubt even security would be enough to separate you two. Just don't do that ever again." The last part was dedicated to Magnus. "You could have startled me, I could have slipped with the needle and suddenly your fiancé has one eye less to admire you with. Knocking goes a long way."

Magnus nodded. He felt really stupid for not thinking about that himself. She seemed to realize that he felt bad for what he did and smiled once in satisfaction before returning her attention to Alexander.

"Now, Mr. Lightwood, let's finish this, shall we?"

It didn't take her long to make the last few stitches.

"Alright, all patched up," she announced and put a big white band aid on top of the wound. She turned to Magnus: "Now, Mr..."

"Bane."

“Mr. Bane. I already told your fiancé that he has a slight concussion and if it's okay with the both of you then I'd like for him to stay the night so that we can keep an eye on him."

"Yes, of course," Magnus assured her. He looked up at Alexander to see if he was okay with that and was rewarded with a faint nod.

"That's okay."

"Great," Doctor Strauss smiled.

 

-

 

Alexander was brought to a small room that was meant for three people but only occupied by one other person, an elderly woman who was sleeping soundly. It didn't take long until Alexander was asleep as well. Meanwhile, Magnus found a rather uncomfortable chair next to his friend's bed. He made himself at home as much as possible and thanked the nurse who told him that she would check on Alexander every hour to make sure he was alright. After that he tried to fall asleep which was easier said than done.

Magnus always felt as though in hospitals, details like time didn't exist but still he swore he shuffled around on that chair for what must have been hours. He dozed off a few times before waking up again because his neck ached or his butt had fallen asleep. If the nurse had checked on Alexander in that time he must have missed it. Finally, he gave up and, making sure Alexander was sound asleep, got up to wander around the hallways to stretch his legs. Since the coffee he'd bought earlier that night was long gone he got a new cup of caffeine. He sure as hell would need it to get through the night because there was no way that he'd be able to sleep on that chair. 

When he returned to the room there was a nurse checking on Alexander. 

"How is he?" he asked, his voice low and raspy from exhaustion. 

The nurse looked up from his work to face Magnus. 

"Are you his boyfriend?"

"Fiancé," Magnus corrected him, the lie already an automatic response.

"He's gonna be okay," the nurse assured him. "You'll see, he'll be on his feet in no time."

Magnus nodded gratefully and the nurse left whilst Magnus took his old place in the awfully uncomfortable chair again, getting ready to hold watch for the night.

 

-

 

Despite Magnus's certainty of not being able to fall sleep he suddenly found himself waking up with his head rested on Alexander's bed, a kink in his neck and his lower back aching. Embarrassed he saw that he was holding his friend's hand. Careful not to wake Alexander he untangled their fingers.

"You two really make a wonderful couple." Magnus looked up at the sound of the strange voice, curious to know to whom it belonged.

The only person in the room as was the elderly woman in the bed next to Alexander's who now smiled warmly at him. Magnus smiled back.

"Thank you."

"You remind me of me and my George. We were married for sixty years, can you imagine? I really loved him very much and I still do, even when his soul is now with God."

"That's wonderful that you had something so strong that it held for such a long time."

"It wasn't easy, of course. George was one heck of a hardass, I'm telling you." Magnus chuckled and she winked at him amiably. "But when you truly love each other then you put up with each other, no matter how much of an hardass the other one can be. That's the secret. As long as you love him and he loves you the rest will sort itself out."

Magnus knew that she had meant to make him feel better but instead he now felt his throat tighten. She was right, if they truly loved each other they would sort this whole mess out but the truth was that Magnus was the only one to love and he had his suspicions that this wasn't enough. 

"What's the matter, honey?"

And suddenly it felt like he was going to choke on the secret if he didn't spit it out. His chest threatened to explode as his lungs tried to gasp for air. Too long he had been alone with this knowledge that his feelings weren't reciprocated, and with the knowledge of how strong those feelings were; so strong even that sometimes they made his heart stop and his breath hitch and his mind numb. 

There was no one there to help and support him, no one to empathise with him or tell him that everything was going to be alright. He had to tell someone.

"Can I tell you a secret?" He said those words in a rush, as though if he waited he would never say them.

"Of course. I think at my age you can say that I'll probably take it to my grave before I get the chance to tell it anyone," she joked and chuckled as though she'd just said the most hilarious thing.

The corners of Magnus's mouth twitched but he didn't join her laugh. 

"He doesn't love me."

The weight of those words should have lifted themselves off of Magnus's shoulders but instead it settled on his chest. The woman stopped laughing and Magnus kept talking before he could decide against it.

"He never loved me. I've been trying to fool myself. I thought maybe I could make him fall in love with me but that was stupid. You can't make someone love you. Either they do or they don't." 

He could feel himself being on the verge of crying and swallowed, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears.

"God, I've been so stupid," he cursed and the dam broke.

Tears, hot and wet streamed over his face as he pressed a hand in front of his mouth to stifle a sob. He turned his head away, like if he could hide his face then the woman wouldn't notice that he was crying.

"Oh honey." She sighed, a little helpless about what to do. "Come on, over here. Sit with me."

She patted the space next to her on her bed. Magnus glanced at Alexander who was still sleeping. The woman noticed him doing it.

"Don't worry about him, he'll sleep like a rock and not even realize you're gone."

Magnus nodded and walked over to her bed, wiping away any traces of tears and smeared make-up on his cheeks with the tip of his sleeve. 

"So, this man over there is your fiancé, correct?" she asked him, taking his left hand into both of hers. Alexander's ring shimmered dimly on his finger.

"No. I mean, technically but... it's complicated."

"I got all day, honey," the woman said and so Magnus told her everything. How he'd been in love with Alexander for forever now but how he had been content with just being friends with him since the other man didn't reciprocate those feelings, how he had woken up naked in his bed with Alexander by his side and no memories of the night before and how they had started this whole lie to protect Isabelle. He kept on talking and told her how he had tried to let their fake relationship affect their real one back when he had still believed his feelings to be nothing more than a strong crush, how Alexander had given him the ring and how Magnus had then decided that he would try to make his friend fall in love with him and how he had failed when he had thought he'd finally gotten close - twice.

The words poured out of Magnus, not unlike a waterfall. Somewhere inside of him a dam had broken and now there was no stopping. All the emotions, his fears and hopes, that Magnus had bottled up over all this time now exploded inside of him and fled his aching heart through whispered confessions, attempted explanations and desperate justifications.

When, eventually, there was nothing left to tell Magnus felt empty but also relieved.

"Oh honey. That sounds like you've gotten yourself into quite a hassle."

Magnus snorted. After all the whining and waxing he'd done about Alexander that seemed like a major understatement. 

"But to me it also looks like you've given up before you've even spotted the finish line. You love him very much, I can tell, and a love like that is worth fighting for. I don't think you're stupid at all. You have hope. And that is a very brave thing to have. As long as you're wearing that ring on your finger you need to hold onto that hope. You've still got time. Don't throw the towel before the game is finished."

She squeezed his left hand one last time, her old, wrinkled fingers soft but surprisingly strong around his. 

A single tear drop fell into Magnus's lap as he smiled at her in gratitude but before he could thank her he heard Alexander stirring behind him. Hastily he wiped away any traces of tears from his cheeks and went over to him.

Alexander blinked up at him lazily through his long lashes, still drowsy from sleep. Magnus smirked.

"Good morning, sleepy head," he teased.

"Morning," Alexander mumbled.

"How are you feeling?" He resisted the urge to run a hand through Alexander's hair and comb it out of his face or maybe just hold it to his forehead to check his temperature.

"M' fine. Just a slight headache." Magnus supposed that could come from both the concussion and a hangover. Maybe he couldn't cure the first problem but he could definitely do something against the latter.

"Are you hungry? I know a fantastic bakery just down the street that sells the best croissants in all of New York. Way better than the garbage that they sell you at the hospital."

A small smile spread on Alexander's face. "Sounds great."

"Perfect. You'll rest and I'll be back in just a second."

On his way out of the room, he asked the elderly lady if she wanted something from the bakery as well but she gratefully declined, saying that she just got used to the 'hospital garbage' and didn't want to indulge her taste buds with fine treats if she knew she had to get back to her old food anyway.

It didn't take long to walk down to the bakery and get back to the hospital and when he stepped out of the elevator there was a familiar face greeting him.

"Magnus!" Catarina shouted him over. "What are you doing here? Are you alright?" She eyed him once over, checking for possible injuries.

Magnus raised one hand in a calming gesture. "I'm perfectly fine, Catarina. Alexander just had a small accident. A simple concussion. Nothing that a few stitches and a bit of rest couldn't fix. We should be able to leave in a few hours."

Catarina raised one eyebrow, amusement twinkling in her eyes. "Let me guess, you were the one who barged into the room. Doctor Strauss told me about it. I shouldn't be surprised that it was you. Are you sure you're okay though? You seem a little out of it."

Magnus did feel a little out of it after the emotional breakdown he'd just had in front of a total stranger but he wouldn't admit that to any of his friends. Not in this lifetime. 

"Yes, I'm fine. Just didn't have much sleep last night."

"The chair?" Catarina asked in a knowing voice. "Yes, those things are hell. I don't even know why we have them when even the floor would be more comfortable to sit on. Well, anyway, I need to get back to work. Give me a call sometime soon."

Magnus promised and Catarina disappeared as suddenly as she had come. For just a second Magnus wondered if he should have told her. What if he told one of his friends what was going on instead of a woman he'd never even seen before? But his doubt didn't last long. It wasn't that he didn't trust Catarina, he'd trust her with his life and he'd never even think that she would tell anyone else about the lies he had told. The truth was he was too proud to tell her. He would not be able to stand the look of pity on her face when she found out that Magnus Bane, confident, colourful Magnus Bane, had let himself be sucked into a game of pretending and hiding just because he was so desperate for his crush to notice him. That after five years he was still standing here, still begging for crumbs. He was pathetic and he knew it. He should just move on but every time he tried Alexander smiled softly at him or surprised him with another sweet gesture and Magnus fell all over for him. 

But the elderly woman in Alexander's room had been right. He shouldn't give up when there was still something to be won. He would keep on trying for as long as they kept this scheme running and if he didn't succeed till then he would move on. Not the half-hearted tries he'd done before but properly. He would leave New York, maybe live with Ragnor in London for a while and he would forget about the dark-haired man with the soft smile and sweet gestures. 

It was a promise he made to no one but himself but still it felt binding, making his chest tighten so that he reflectively sucked in the sterile air of the room. He felt more settled now. Even though the prospect of what might happen if he failed to make Alexander fall for him weighed on his shoulders he could walk more upright now and with a new purpose to his step. This was now or never. His final chance. And he would not fail.

 

-

 

Back in Magnus's apartment both of them were about ready to collapse on the spot. Magnus had slept next to nothing in the last twenty-four hours and Alexander hadn't caught much more rest, plus he had been hit in the head. Luckily, Magnus had already contacted both their workplaces and called in sick. Too much alcohol, stress and worry now took their tribute and both men only just managed to strip out of their clothes before crawling under the blanket, not bothering with putting on their pyjamas, or taking off their make-up in Magnus case.

And maybe it was his talk with the elderly lady at the hospital that had left him feeling vulnerable or maybe his sleep deprivation or the utter exhaustion that had settled into his bones but Magnus suddenly felt the need to make the most of his time with Alexander. He rolled over until he lay pressed up against his friend, breathing contently into neck. Alexander tried to scoop away at first but Magnus simply slung his arm around his waist and held him in place and so Alexander decided to indulge him for a while and stayed where he was.

When Magnus woke up he felt content and relaxed. It took him a moment to realize that he was still snuggled up against Alexander. Reluctantly, he freed himself from his friend's arms and got up. One glance at his phone told him that it was already after noon. Unlike Alexander, he hadn't had any breakfast and his stomach reminded him of that through a loud and angry grumble. Sighing, he decided to let his friend sleep since he looked to peaceful and surely needed the rest and went to make himself lunch. 

Back when he had still lived alone he had always put on some music whilst he was cooking, a habit that he had put aside ever since he had Alexander to chat with whilst working in the kitchen. Alexander was sound asleep now though and since Magnus really didn't want to be alone with his thought he assumed that it probably wouldn't wake his friend if he played some music, as long as he kept the volume turned down. 

Soon he was chopping vegetables in a four quarters tact. When his casserole was almost ready for the oven a figure appeared in his kitchen, with ruffled hair and sleepy eyes. Immediately Magnus turned the music off.

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

Alexander blinked at him a little drowsily. "Hm? Oh, no, don't worry. You can keep the music running."

His gaze wandered to the half-prepared lunch on the kitchen counter. "What are you making?"

"Casserole. Are you hungry?" Magnus had made enough for two, just in case.

Alexander looked down at his stomach and scratched his chin as though he waited for his belly to tell him whether it demanded food or not. Eventually he shrugged and gave a slight nod which Magnus interpreted as an 'a little maybe'.

"Come on then. You can chop the rest of the carrots whilst I'll make the sauce."

Alexander silently obliged and slowly took the knife into his hands, not yet awake enough for many words and hectic actions. Magnus turned the music back on and went back to work. It didn't take long for him to start humming along to the soft tunes. By the time he put the casserole into the oven he couldn't resist swaying his hips lightly with the rhythm as an especially sweet song with a catchy refrain started playing. He closed the oven door on beat with a swift motion.

But when he whirled around to start cleaning up he suddenly found himself standing very close to Alexander. Startled he didn't resist when his friend took his right hand into his left one and placed the other one onto his hip. 

"What are you doing?" Magnus asked, a little breathy. 

"Dancing. Or at least I'm trying to. I'm not very good at it, I'm afraid, so you'll have to be patient with me." Alexander's voice was low and private but deprived from any shyness.

Magnus didn't manage more than a dumbstruck nod, his brain not yet having fully caught up with the situation and unable to deliver a witty reply.

It was more of a soft rocking on the spot, turning around ever so slowly, than actual dancing. They were a little behind the actual tact of the music but Magnus guessed that since Alexander had a concussion they should not have moved too fast anyway. And, frankly, he couldn't have cared less either.

He could feel the warmth of Alexander's body radiating off him and seeping through the thin fabric of the other man's shirt where Magnus hand rested on his waist. He could breathe in the faint smell of laundry detergent that came from the freshly washed clothes Alexander was wearing, mixed with another smell that Magnus would never be able to describe but that was just _Alexander_.

Carefully, afraid he might break the moment, he dared to shuffle a little closer, barely more than an inch but as soon as Alexander caught the movement he pressed Magnus closer all by himself, until the tip of the smaller man's nose bumped softly against his shoulder. Magnus's breath hitched. He suddenly found it very hard to control the way air filled his lungs and left them again. Thoughts of all kind raced through his mind, stumbling over each other and trying to arrange themselves into an order that was somewhat logical, with no success.

Magnus had no idea what was happening and he was equal parts confused and happy about it, drunk with the overwhelming sensation of Alexander holding him close. His mind was clouded by the suddenness, the intimacy, the intensity of it all and made it hard for him to think about what it might mean. A question that lurked in the back of his head like an unwelcome visitor that he gladly shut out again only so that he was able to experience this moment in its completeness.

When he looked up he saw Alexander's hazel eyes blinking down at him through long, dark lashes and Magnus thought about how nice it would be right now to kiss him. With a bitter feeling settling in his stomach he was reminded of what had happened last time he'd let the moment get the best of him and attempted to steal a kiss. The consequences of his actions now presenting themselves in form of a big white band aid plastered upon his friend's forehead. Shame and regret seeped in through the open cracks of his little bubble of happiness and managed to dampen his mood further. 

Alexander seemed to sense that. "Magnus, about last night..." His voice still carried the same low, private tone than before but if Magnus wasn't mistaken then there now was a hint of uncertainty there as well. "I've been meaning to talk to you about this for such a long time now but I never knew how." He seemed to scramble for the right words. There was a foolish flutter of hope in Magnus's heart when he realized that this sounded like the beginning of a confession. "I want you to know that what happened on that staircase..."

The sounds of the doorbell made both of them jump.

Alexander's gaze snapped to the door, looking as though he'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His tongue darted out to wet his lips in a quick movement, as it always did when he was nervous. He seemed to consider something whilst Magnus just stood there, waiting for him to make a decision and ignoring the door completely. Eventually Alexander made a choice. "I'll go and get that," he murmured and left.

Magnus could still feel the spots where Alexander's hands had been on his body, like imprints. He could feel the cool air now teasing his skin where before there had been the warmth of the other man. Magnus sighed but it came out as more of a shaky breath. 

He had no idea what had just happened. The memory of how Alexander had pulled him close still had him giddy but then what had he been meaning to tell Magnus? It was about last night, that much was certain but what was it? It could be anything from the fulfilment of all of Magnus's dreams to the final straw that would finally crush those dreams. He almost didn't dare to hope after having been disappointed so often but he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if the first option were true. In the end, it didn't matter though. Alexander never got to finish his sentence.

With another deep sigh Magnus moved into the direction of the door where Alexander was already waiting for their visitor to come up the stairs. A few seconds later there was the familiar sound of high heels on his steps.

As soon as Isabelle spotted her brother she wrapped him into a tight hug. "Alec! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Izzy. Don't worry." He patted her shoulder reassuringly.

"Luke told me you had an accident. What happened?" She asked, stepping back to take a good look at his forehead. Not that there was much to see except for the band aid.

"It's nothing, Iz. I just had too much beer and fell down the stairs. Honestly, my pride is hurt more than my head."

The joke seemed to take the edge off her worry as amusement sparked in her eyes. Nevertheless, she asked: "What did the doctor say?"

"Slight concussion. They kept me there for one night and released me this morning."

This seemed to calm her finally. "Well, God knows you've had worse. Just be more careful next time you decide to get drunk, big bro."

Alexander rolled his eyes. "Yes, ma'am."

"Alright, now that I know that you're not dying any time soon I should get going again. I need to get back to work. Just thought I should stop by during my lunch break to make sure you're fine."

Magnus felt bad, thinking about how she spent the time she could have used to get herself a proper meal to check up on her brother. "If you have another ten minutes, I have a casserole in the oven that's just about done and you're more than welcome to join us," he offered.

"No, thank you." Isabelle actually blushed which had Magnus immediately suspicious. He raised an eyebrow in question.

"I'm having lunch with Simon now," she explained, her blush deepening. "I'm meeting him at the diner in five minutes."

Magnus raised the other eyebrow as well, this time in surprise. "What did dear Solomon do to deserve this honour?"

"We're, uh," she smiled nervously, "we're kind of dating now."

Even though it had been Magnus's question her eyes were set on Alexander as she answered. Her brother's expression was one of surprise, his lips parted in shock and his eyes wide.

"Oh," he said. And after he'd composed himself a little again: "For how long...?"

He didn't need to finish the sentence before Isabelle delivered an answer. "It's all very recent. Two days now. I wanted to tell you the second it happened but then I thought I better tell you in person after you two've had your date night. That is also why I've stopped by."

Magnus could see how Isabelle studied her brother's face anxiously, waiting for a reaction.

Alexander scratched the back of his neck. He seemed to notice that she wanted him to give his opinion. "Is this what makes you happy?"

And then Isabelle smiled. A small but sincere little smile that seemed to have grown out of subconscious need rather than conscious decision.

"Yes, I'm very happy, Alec."

"That's all I could ask for, Iz."

Her smile widened into a brilliant grin. He hadn't given his blessing since she hadn't asked for it and didn't need it, therefore, she didn't say thank you since there was nothing to be thankful for. But she still wrapped her brother into another one of her tight hugs and the gleam in her eyes showed nothing but gratefulness about his approval.

She turned to Magnus. "So, does that mean you're going to call him by his actual name?" she teased.

"I'm not sure I'd go that far," Magnus played back. "But for you I'd surely consider it."

She laughed and hugged him as well and shortly before they parted again she raised her chin to whisper into Magnus's ear. 

And with a whirl she was gone as quickly as she had come.

Alexander snorted. "I guess I should have seen that one coming."

Magnus couldn't laugh, however. A tight knot had grown in his stomach and made him sick.

_I'm so glad you're my brother in law._

That was what she had whispered. Brother in law.

His time had run out.

Finally, he managed to force a smile. "Yes, I guess so." He inhaled, exhaled. Better to get it over with.

"Well, I guess this is it then," he said, trying to sound as chipper as possible.

Alexander frowned in confusion. Somehow that annoyed Magnus. He had dreaded this moment throughout all this time, feared it ever since they'd started this lie. And Alexander didn't even recognize it when it came. Why would he? It wasn't like he could see Magnus's hopes and dreams crashing with thunderous applause.

"Isabelle doesn't need us anymore. Our engagement has officially ended." He wondered if his friend noticed that the cheerfulness in his voice sounded as fake as the cotton candy flavour tasted in jelly beans. Sweet and buttery and over-the-top.

For a second Alexander seemed to process the information. Then he simply nodded.

"Right."

No disappointment, no sadness, no excuse to keep the lie going. Just a nod and a short 'right' and everything was over. 

"Right," Magnus echoed, not sure whether it was out of disbelief of finality. "Lunch will be done any minute now," he added and disappeared into the kitchen to hide his face.

 

-

 

_Went out for a walk. Won't be long._

Magnus wondered if he should be worried. Alexander did have a concussion, after all, and it had only been two days since he fell down the stairs. He should probably be in bed and rest instead of wandering around the streets of New York City. Then again, Alexander was a fully-grown man and capable of taking care of himself.

And of course, Magnus worried nonetheless.

Not just about the other man's well-being but also about their relationship. There were those ugly doubts and insecurities that scratched their way through the back of his skull into his mind. 

They hadn't talked about what would happen next ever since Isabelle had paid them a visit. Magnus knew that they had to discuss the best way to tell their friends that there would be no wedding but he really hadn't felt like doing so at the moment. However, he knew that conversation would take place as soon as Alexander returned.

This whole play of pretend had come with too many realizations for him and there was no way he could go back into denial. That meant that his relationship with Alexander would never be the same again. Their easy friendship was lost and Magnus didn't know yet with what it would be replaced. Would it be something similar to what they'd had before? And naturally there was one big question clear in his head. What did Alexander think? Did he notice the change in their dynamic? 

Magnus hoped so but he knew that assuming that Alexander was taking the walk to be able to think in quietude about the thinks that occupied Magnus's mind was jumping heavily to conclusions.

When he heard the doorbell ring he frowned. Alexander had a key - had had one even before he'd moved into this apartment - and Magnus wasn't expecting any visitors. Curious he went to press the buzzer and waited until the visitor had climbed the stairs. A part of him had expected that Alexander had forgotten his key or that Isabelle had decided to pay him a surprise visit but although there really was a Lightwood standing in his doorway it was the one he had expected least.

"The elevator is broken. You should get it fixed."

"Maryse," Magnus stated. The dislike was obvious in his voice and even though that hadn't been intentional he cared too little to feel embarrassed or even sorry for it.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked, warily. Maryse seemed to take his mistrust with composure.

"May I come inside?" she countered his question. Magnus didn't want this woman in his home but curiosity got the best of him and he stepped aside.

"I'm sorry to disturb you. I was hoping to see my son and I was told to find him here. I suppose I can't blame him for not telling me that he moved."

Magnus's wariness grew. _'I can't blame him’_ , sounded too much like, _'I have to blame myself’_ , and those were words foreign to Maryse Lightwood.

"I suppose so, yes," he murmured. "Alexander is out for a walk right now. If you want to you can come back later."

"I you don't mind I would prefer waiting here. I'd like to speak to you as well."

Actually, Magnus would mind very much indeed. Everything that Maryse had to say to him was probably filled with accusations and poisonous words. But his gut told him that there was something different about this situation. The words she chose and the way she moved around him had changed, although not by much. She was still as direct and harsh as ever, her opening words on the stairs had proved it but she seemed altogether less aggressive. 

Magnus made an inviting gesture into the direction of the couch, as an offer for a seat. Maryse took it. 

"Would you like something to drink? Maybe some wine?"

"Red, if you have. Please."

He was suddenly reminded of the bottle of red wine that he had bought as a gift when he and Alexander had been invited to dinner at the Lightwood mansion. Back then she hadn't looked very impressed. Magnus poured each of them a glass and handed her one.

"I heard about the accident," she explained. "Is he alright?"

"He's fine. Just a slight concussion." Magnus kept his answers short, eyeing her suspiciously from where he had taken place in his armchair.

"I'm glad to hear that." Maryse was hard to read, as a person. She always made sure to look as cool and composed as possible but if Magnus wasn't mistaken then she actually seemed to look relieved. He was almost ashamed to admit that he was surprised by that. Alexander was her son after all. Of course, she cared for him. 

"I think we both know that I owe you an apology."

Magnus eyebrows shot up. Now he really was taken aback. An apology by one of the elder Lightwoods? Directed to him? Who would have thought this day would ever come? Certainly not him. But Maryse wasn't finished yet.

"I treated you very poorly and you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry. If possible I would like to explain my behaviour towards you that day. I realize, of course, that an explanation won't rectify the harm I've done and please know that I am not trying to justify my actions but I would feel better if you knew of my motives."

She waited for a second and then took Magnus's silence as an invitation to continue. 

"My husband, Robert, had an affair." She let that sink in for a second before she kept on talking. "I have known for several months now and despite that knowledge I have chosen to stay with him for the sake of our family and especially our youngest, Maxwell. I met Robert when we were still in high school and we got engaged right after graduation. One year later we were married. It was all very rushed and we were both young and stupid and it has led to us being stuck in a loveless marriage. Something that I do not and will not ever wish upon anyone and especially not my children. I'm guessing when I heard the news of your new relationship status I may have overreacted. I feared that my own son was about to make the same mistake that I made all those years ago. I don't regret making that mistake because it meant that I am now blessed with four wonderful children that I would not have if it weren't for that marriage. But for Alexander things are different. I thought if he rushed things like I did he may regret it for the rest of his days."

Magnus didn't know what to say. He was baffled by Maryse's honesty. She could have easily left after discovering that her son wasn't home - after all, it wasn't like Magnus hadn't given her the perfect opportunity - but instead she had decided to stay in order to apologize. And not only that but she had shared something personal with a man she barely knew and probably disliked. To say Magnus was stunned was an understatement.

Maryse, however, was not finished yet and before Magnus could think of something to say she continued:

"I was wrong. After the night where you came for dinner Alexander visited me again and he explained the situation to me. It took me a while to fully understand it and I regret not having come sooner but I suppose I was too embarrassed by my own actions." 

She kept her gaze firmly on the wine glass in her hand. She had barely taken a sip. Meanwhile in Magnus's head thoughts were running a thousand miles per hour.  
Alexander had explained the situation? What did that mean? Had he told her the truth? Holding his breath, he waited for what came next.

"I know now that your relationship isn't the same as Robert's and mine. You are both older and more mature and your relationship started in a way even before it became official, although in a rather unorthodox way, maybe. I should have trusted my son enough to know that he is capable of making his own decisions and to know what is best for him. And if I had paid just a little more attention that evening I may have seen it for myself. You make him happy. That's all I could possibly ask for any of my children and that's why I've come not only to apologize but also to thank you. I will be glad to see you as part of the family in the near future."

Magnus let go of the breath he had held until his head felt dizzy and his chest felt empty. So, Alexander hadn't told her the truth. 

Maryse was, apparently, finished with her monologue because she took a big swig out of her wine glass and fell silent. Magnus needed a moment to piece everything together. Or maybe a year. He mimicked Maryse and took a big chuck of wine, then he pushed away everything that could wait until he had a free minute to think and focused on what was important now.

"Thank you," he said. "For coming here to tell me this. I appreciate it very much. And I forgive you."

She nodded shortly but the relief in her eyes was all the confirmation he needed to make sure that she had come to apologize out of her own free will and not because he children had asked her to. Although, if he was honest, he hadn't suspected her apology to be forced. There was a softness to her features and a sincerity to her voice that hadn't been there at the night of the dinner, even if her posture was still as strict and composed as ever. Magnus recognized some of that in Alexander and didn't quite know what to do with that piece of information.

When she smiled, Magnus mirrored the motion. They didn't say much after that but the air of hostility had left the room long ago and made space for a comfortable being-together. They both sipped wine like they shared a common secret now and Magnus knew that neither of them would share what happened in this room with anyone else, ever.

It didn't take long until they heard a key turning in the lock of the apartment door.

"Magnus, look what I've found at the Seven Eleven down the street! I think they've released a new flavour. Or maybe they just changed the colour of the package..." 

Alexander was so busy staring at the package of _Skittles_ in his hand that he didn't notice Maryse until the last possible second. 

"Mom?"

"Hello, Alec."

His eyes darted between Magnus and Maryse. "What are you doing here?"

Magnus wasn't a hundred percent certain whether Alexander meant his mother or the two of them together.

"I was just coming by to see if you were alright and Magnus was kind enough to invite me inside," Maryse explained.

Alexander nodded slowly. "Ah."

"How are you?" his mother asked. 

"Good," he responded rather brusquely.

"I'm glad to hear so. I should probably leave now, then." She seemed to sense the icy tension coming from Alexander. Suddenly Magnus felt sorry for her.

"Are you sure? You could stay for dinner if you'd like," he offered. Maryse appeared startled but it didn't take her long to put on a grateful smile. 

"Thank you but I really should be going now."

"Maybe another time then," Magnus said just to make sure that she knew he had taken her by her word when she had offered peace. 

Maryse smile widened barely noticeable. "Maybe another time," she agreed and walked out of the door.

"What just happened?" Alexander asked in shock as soon as the door fell shut.

Magnus smirked, enjoying the higher ground that the mystery put him on. 

"Oh, nothing much. Your mother and I just had a little chat, that's all."

Alexander stared at him as though Magnus had just defeated Godzilla and called it 'nothing much'. 

"You're incredible, you know that?" he praised him.

Magnus smirk deepened. "So they tell me..."

A smile spread out on Alexander's face, as wide and contagious as can be and Magnus was reminded of what Maryse had told him.

_You make him happy._

"I think we shouldn't break up just yet." The words had left Magnus's mouth before he could really think about it or even stop himself. The weight of them only dawned on him when he saw surprise flashing in Alexander's eyes.

"I mean, it would only look suspicious if we broke up right after Isabelle has found someone new," he tried to save himself. He didn't have to improvise with his explanation. He had spent a lot of time trying to come up with excuses to prolong their relationship and if Alexander thought just a little longer about it he would realize how weak it sounded. As though anyone would expect their relationship to be fake. What for? To help Alexander's little sister through a break-up? The idea alone seemed insane, although, of course, that was exactly what they had done. That was why he was even more surprised when Alexander nodded.

"Okay. Yeah. I think that's probably a good idea."

Magnus's heart did a little tap dance. "Well, that's settled then," he said as though it wasn't a big deal.

He cleared his throat. "Are you hungry? I think I'll start making dinner now."

It was much too early for dinner but he needed to change the topic if he didn't want to start grinning like an idiot. The woman from the hospital was right, he shouldn't give up just yet. 

And now he still had time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time I write Magnus refering to Alec as a 'friend' I can't help but laugh. Sure, Magnus... a friend.
> 
> This is it for now! I hope you liked it. If you did, leave kudos. Comments sweeten my day and help me survive another night spent on a bus (these seats are not designed for people taller than 1,60 m (5,2 ft)).
> 
> Another huge thanks to my beta who is the loveliest, most patient and most reliable person ever. I seriously do not know what I'd do without her but be assured that if it weren't for her you'd have to suffer through all the creative spelling I come up with at three in the morning. Go, shower her with love. ([Her tumblr](https://an-indecisive-fangirl.tumblr.com/), [her blog](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/))
> 
> Also, you can visit me on [tumblr](http://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/). My blog is not very active at the moment, due to my travelling but I try to check it every now and then. So if you wanna chat privately that would be the way to go.
> 
> UPDATE:  
> My laptop is now officially and irreparably broken. I'll keep on writing in my notebook by hand but there won't be an update any time soon (although you might be used to that by now). Good news is that I now finally know how to wrap this whole thing up so there's gonna be two more chapters with the final one being out of Alec's POV....


	11. Fuck Alexander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, at that! After almost four months I'm back with another chapter. In my defense, I have several good reasons for why this is so late, including but not limited to:
> 
> \- my laptop broke and i was in Myanmar during that time (they couldn't fix it)  
> \- i had a motorbike accident that wrecked both my feet  
> \- had to fly back home (this was actually not counterproductive because it meant i had a lot of time to write this because i couldn't move)  
> \- i caught a cold
> 
> But you're not here to hear about my excuses, so let's get to the chapter.
> 
> Also, this might confuse you now but remember that I don't write porn.

Just because Magnus didn’t have a visible yet uncertain deadline hanging over him anymore that didn’t mean that he had all the time in the world. Now, Alexander could end it whenever he wanted without any consequences to himself, like having to explain everything to their friends. But still Magnus’ mood was impeccable because Alexander didn’t want to end things between them. He wanted to keep their relationship going even though there was no real use to it - and this new hope made Magnus more determined than ever.

He didn’t even care that their relationship was fake anymore because it didn’t feel fake. Their routine carried on like always. Magnus turned back to his bold self and flirted as much as possible, amused by the faint blush he could paint on Alexander’s cheeks with a single comment. And more often than ever now, Alexander surprised him by flirting back and Magnus would be lying if he said that he didn’t love it.

Only once Magnus doubts returned for a short moment, one morning at the breakfast table.

“Jace just texted me, he and Clary finally found a place of their own.”

Magnus froze with his coffee cup half-way raised to his lips. If these two idiots had finally found a place to live together that meant that Jace would move out of Alexander’s apartment which meant that Alexander was now free to move back into it and leave Magnus alone in his own apartment. All their established domestic routine, all their late-night Netflix marathons and reading in bed together, side by side, cooking together, everything would be gone.

“Did they now?” he forced himself to an answer.

“Yeah, I’m giving them six months until Jace finally finds the guts to ask Clary to marry him.”

That reminded Magnus, all their friends thought Alexander and him were about to get married soon. If Alexander were to move out again it would be more than suspicious. There was no need to worry. Relieved, he took a sip of his coffee.

“I say five. Tops,” he challenged.

“You’re on.”

“Does that mean we have to help them move? Because I’ve got a lot going on at work and I really can’t afford to fake an illness that would render me incapable of carrying heavy things right now.”

After moving the couch into his apartment he definitely had enough of moving any furniture around for the time being. And after Jace had bailed out on them with the couch and let Sherwin do all the dirty work, Magnus didn’t feel too obligated to help him out either, even if Biscuit was one of his dearest friends. 

“Yes, but don’t worry. It’s this weekend so you’ll be on your business trip.” Alexander smirked, amused by his antics.

“I didn’t think I’d ever say that but,” he lowered his voice a little, “thank God for all those long hours where I try to sell my ideas to white people with too much money.”

Alexander frowned. “Why are you whispering?”

“I don’t like talking about capitalism in front of Chairman Meow. He gets scratchy.” 

The feline looked up from his meal as though he knew exactly what they were talking about. He blinked once, disapprovingly, before returning his attention to his food.

Alexander nodded like that explained everything. “They’re also inviting us to their house warming party.”

“Who? The capitalists?” Magnus frowned confused, his thoughts already at the business trip he still had to prepare for.

“No, Clary and Jace. It’s the weekend after this one.”

“Party, huh?” Magnus smirked. It had been way too long since his last party.

Alexander read his expression correctly. “I’m guessing I should tell them we’ll be there then.”

Magnus smiled and took another sip of his coffee. “Of course. After all, it’s not really a party without Magnus Bane present.”

 

-

 

When Alexander and Magnus arrived at Biscuit’s and Jace’s new place, they were late since they had to run an emergency errand last minute due to them not having a) a bottle of wine as a gift for their friends, b) anything to eat and c) a bottle of shampoo because they had run out of it the other day. And since the next day would be Sunday they’d had to get it before the party. So it was no wonder that most of their friends seemed to have arrived before them. Magnus could see Isabelle and Sean, Maia, Lydia, Helen and Aline. With amusement he noticed that all the couples had already arrived whilst the singles were still missing.

“So glad you could make it! Come on in, everyone else is already here,” Biscuit greeted them at the door with a wide smile. 

Curious they stepped inside. The place was filled with cardboard boxes that were piled up against the wall. Most of the furniture was already there, a spacious, L-shaped couch being the eye-catcher of the room with a low table in front of it that was made out of dark wood. Both pointed towards a large TV that was connected to a gaming console that had several Mario Kart games stacked next to it that had obviously already been used. Even though the room was still lacking the personality and sense of being-lived-in that only came over time, Biscuit had obviously done her best to brighten up the space.

Bowls with snacks were standing on the couch table together with a small vase that held some wild flowers. Colorful bands and fairy lights were draped along the walls and hung from everything that was able to hold them. Magnus couldn’t help but notice that the decorations were predominantly red with loads of heart-shapes and smiled at the sweet thought of them celebrating the romantic gesture of living together instead of moving. 

“Darling, this is wonderful,” he complimented his friend.

Biscuit blushed. “Oh well, it was the best I could do for the party but there’s still a lot of work to be done in this room. We wanted to paint the wall over there and I thought about maybe doing some graffiti instead of hanging up framed artwork. And maybe hang up some photos over here, see?” She led him around the apartment, telling him about their plans (that were mostly hers even though Jace did seem to have an opinion of his own on some matters) and Magnus saw Alexander leaving meanwhile to greet his brother. 

“I’m sure everything will turn out absolutely beautiful, my dear.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Magnus.” She took his hand. “Now let’s get this party started, shall we?”

Laughing, he let himself be let back into the living room by her where she clapped a few times to get everyone’s attention. 

“Alright, listen up, everybody! Since everyone present is here with their significant other, Jace and I decided that it would be fun to not have just any house-warming party but a couple-themed one! Aline helped me prepare a few games, for each game you will need a partner, that is your girlfriend or boyfriend or fiancé,” she said the last word with a side glance to Magnus whose eyes immediately found Alexander’s across the room who just shrugged helplessly. 

“During each game you will get points depending on how well you did and at the end of the night the couple with the most points will get a special prize that I won’t reveal until then. So, let’s get started!”

Jace apparently recognized these words as his cue because he immediately left to get two chairs out of the kitchen that he placed, with their backs facing each other, so far apart that a grown person could comfortably stand between them.

“Okay, so in the first game we will determine how well you know each other. One couple after the other has to sit in those chairs, blindfolded. I’m going to read out a few questions that I have already prepared and each of them is about who does what in your relationship. You need to answer each of these questions without communicating with your partner. If you think the answer to the question is yourself you raise your left hand, if you think the answer is your partner, raise your right. Understood?” 

When everyone in the room nodded or hummed in agreement, she smiled. “Perfect, I’d say we start with our soon-to-be-marrieds.” 

Magnus eyes widened. He would have preferred for someone else to start but now there was no going back. They just had to play this little game of pretend.

The irony that their relationship was seen as the most progressed one by the people they were with even though they were the only ones not being in a romantic relationship at all, was not lost on Magnus. In another situation and at another time he might even have laughed about it but right now he was tense. This game seemed rather innocent but what about the other ones? 

He knew his relationship with Alexander was stronger than ever. Their constant flirting and teasing had finally made room for Magnus to hope that they might be evolving into something more. But at the same time he knew that this strength was an illusion. The state they were in right now was a fragile one. If the game forced them to go too far during a game then Alexander might be spooked away.

Biscuit leaned over to blindfold him. The cotton scarf did a good job of taking his view and left him in complete darkness. 

“Remember, raise your left hand when you think the answer is yourself, raise your right when you think it’s your partner.”

Magnus took another breath. There was no need to be afraid. He should just lean back and enjoy the game. It did sound like fun and if Magnus was being honest he could draw a little bit of excitement out of the fact that Alexander and he would easily win this game. They knew everything about each other.

“Alright, let’s start with something easy. Who made the first move?”

Magnus was yet again reminded of that one night in the bar, five years ago, where he’d successfully made a fool of and knocked himself out. A little embarrassed, he raised his left hand.

“Okay. Now, except for Jace and me you’re the only ones here already living together so tell us a little about your domestic live. Who is the one to always leave the dirty dishes lying around?”

Magnus would have liked to say it was Alexander but that man was a neat freak. 

“What if none of us leave their dishes lying around?” he asked hopefully.

He heard laughter from behind him. “Just admit it, Magnus. Everyone knows the answer anyway,” he heard Alexander say.

“Hey, no communicating you two!” Biscuit chastised them.

Reluctantly Magnus bit back another comment and raised his left hand.

“Since the two of you can’t behave, I’ll skip right to the juicy bits. Who makes the most noise in bed?”

Now the laughter was coming from their audience and someone was showing off an A+ New Yorker taxi whistle.

Magnus froze. Alexander and he had never slept together with the exception of one night that neither of them could remember. This was pure guessing and hoping the other one would raise the same hand.

He was half tempted to raise his left hand again since he could imagine himself making all sorts of sounds with Alexander in his bed but then an image flashed before his eyes: Alexander sprawled out beneath him, eyes fluttering shut and lips parted to whisper Magnus’s name that ended in a delicious moan. 

He didn’t know if the image was a memory from that one night that had only now come to him or if it was the product of his imagination but either way it was now burned into Magnus’s mind. With flushing cheeks he raised his right hand, immediately wondering what Alexander’s answer had been.

“Who is more likely to jump the other one from nowhere?”

Magnus knew that if he had his way Alexander and him would spend most of their time doing nothing else so he raised his left hand again.

After that it just got worse. Biscuit’s questions were all sex-related and although some of them were fairly innocent (who is more likely to send smutty texts when the other one is at work?) others were not so much (who is kinkier?). Each question sent a billion images and ‘what if’s’ through Magnus’s head, so that when the game ended he was embarrassed to say that he was turned on.

“That was… surprisingly bad,” Biscuit concluded. “Almost all your answers were contradicting. 

Jace was obviously amused by their bad performance. “Man, if I didn’t know any better I’d say the two of you’ve never slept together,” he laughed.

His brother threw the blindfold at him in response.

“Well, lucky for us because now it’s gonna be even easier to kick your sorry asses,” Maia taunted, grabbing the blindfold off Jace and taking a seat whilst Lydia took the other one.

Magnus noticed little more of what was happening after that. He and Alexander were sitting on the couch, a few centimeters of space between them and Magnus was barely able to look at the other man. It was seriously embarrassing how little he could hold it together. They were in company for God’s sake!

“So, Maia and Lydia are in the lead by answering eighteen out of twenty questions correctly,” the couple high-fived each other, “quickly followed by Jace and me with seventeen points.” Her boyfriend raised both arms in a victory pose that had Biscuit rolling her eyes fondly at him.

“On third place are Helen and Aline with fifteen points and then come Simon and Izzy as the new couple with twelve points. And Magnus and Alec come in last with a surprisingly low score of five.”

Jace snorted. “Dude, even if you would’ve guessed the answer of every single question you should’ve done better.”

Magnus smiled weakly. For once, he didn’t know what to respond. They did guess every single time. Luckily, Alexander wasn’t shy for an answer.

“We’re just giving you a heads-up so that our victory is going to be all the more spectacular.”

“Is that so, huh? And here we all thought you were just starting to lose early in the game already,” Biscuit shot back.

Jace and she were almost as competitive as Alexander and Magnus… almost.

“You wish,” Magnus hurried to Alexander’s support. “Bring it, Fray. Next game you will go down.”

Magnus was relieved, in a way. He liked this. This banter with friends was familiar territory, safe territory. He could surely pull himself together enough for them to win this thing, right?

 

-

 

He could not. He could not, absolutely not, pull himself together. He had survived the back-to-back slow dancing whilst holding a balloon between them that they weren’t allowed to touch with their hands, the ‘Guess which famous couple it is’ quiz and the ‘Right or Wrong’ game where they’d had to guess which of the statements about their partner were true and which ones weren’t. He and Alexander had collected enough points to make up for their disastrous last round, had won every game except for the quiz where they had come in close second after Lydia and Maia and now they were about to fail.

And all of that because of some whipped cream.

“The rules are simple,” Biscuit announced. “Each couple will receive ten bowls of whipped cream in different flavors. Choose one of you who will be the taster. That one will get blindfolded. The blindfold will be put on by someone from the couple standing to your right to make sure that no one is going to cheat. Your partner will be the feeder. You need to feed the taster the whipped cream who then needs to guess the flavor of it. You can write down the results on the sheet of paper that I will hand out together with the bowls. You have five minutes to guess all the flavors. If you guess one correctly then that’s two points. All clear?”

Everything was more than clear. By now everyone had caught onto the competitive vibe and was in for the win. 

The whipped cream was quickly distributed and suddenly Magnus was holding a sheet of paper and a pen whilst Maia was busy blindfolding Alexander and making sure that he couldn’t see anything at all.

Magnus took a closer look at the bowls. The whipped cream had different colors but only by that you couldn’t tell the flavor. The light brown one could be either coffee or caramel and there was no real way of knowing without trying, unless maybe smelling it but he was sure that one of the others would notice if he tried to sniff the bowls. Besides, cheating wasn’t really necessary. He was sure that Alexander would be able to guess the different flavors and five minutes were really more than enough.

“Where are the spoons?” Magnus looked up to see Sherwin looking around to see if maybe there were some lying on the table. It was only then that Magnus realized that the spoons were missing. And the same second he realized that they were missing on purpose.

“You need to feed Izzy with your fingers, Simon,” Aline explained to him, not without smiling.

Sheldon’s eyebrows shut up in surprise and his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “Of course,” he stuttered.

Isabelle grinned and blindly reached for his face to press a soft kiss onto his lips that quickly made him forget about his mishap.

Magnus swallowed. Alexander licking whipped cream off his fingers? That was one of his favorite daydreams right there. With a deep breath he tried to calm himself down. He had to focus on the game. This wasn’t about his secret fantasies; it was about winning this thing. 

Biscuit put on a timer on her phone. “Everyone ready? The five minutes start… now!” She started the clock and Magnus dipped his finger into the first bowl.

When he went to feed the whip cream to Alexander he hesitated for a short second but then just went for it. 

“Open up,” he ordered the other man who obediently opened his mouth.

When Magnus got close enough to brush Alexander’s lips a pink tongue darted out behind them to lick the whipped cream off his finger. The movement was too hasty though and the cream almost dripped down onto the floor if Alexander hadn’t felt his mistake in time and quickly went to close his lips around Magnus’s finger to save it.

Magnus couldn’t help but blush, his eyes practically glued onto Alexander’s mouth. Suddenly, he felt very hot. 

“Strawberry.” 

Magnus hurried to write down the result. Then he dipped his finger into the next bowl, this time not hesitating and not waiting for Alexander to lick it off he simply pushed the tip of his finger into the other man’s mouth. He felt the softness of Alexander’s lips as they closed around it and the roughness of his tongue as it licked the cream off. Lingering longer than necessary but still too soon he pulled his hand away again.

“Peach.”

And so they went one flavor after the other. Magnus forgot completely about the game. He still wrote down every result Alexander gave him but his sole focus was absorbed by watching Alexander licking whipped cream off his fingers.

With each new flavor his hand lingered longer. With the fifth one he let his finger run over Alexander’s bottom lip once after pulling it out. The one after had him brushing his thumb over the light stubble on Alexander’s chin. For weeks now their relationship had taken another direction, had strengthened again after going through so much and Magnus had grown bolder, encouraged by Alexander’s flirtations, but he was still taken aback when Alexander suddenly started to suck softly on the tip of his finger. It was nothing and didn’t last long but it was a sweet and tender gesture that had been unmistakably intentional. It had been a soft encouragement of Magnus’ caresses. 

Magnus stopped breathing. He could feel Alexander carefully placing a hand onto Magnus’s hip. A gentle touch, that he accompanied by drawing small circles onto Magnus’s skin through the fabric of his shirt. 

The shrill sound of the timer going off made Magnus jump. Alexander pulled his hand away and Magnus took half a step back to give himself space to breathe again. 

Alexander took the blindfold off. “Chocolate.”

Magnus turned his eyes to the ground, too flustered to meet the other man’s eye. Wordlessly, he nodded and noted the result. There was only one flavor they hadn’t gotten to try.

It was obvious that none of the others had noticed what had been going on between the two of them. Biscuit started walking around and jotting down the points that each team had gotten whilst Aline checked how many Jace and Biscuit had scored. Alexander had guessed every single flavor correctly which put them second, right behind Lydia and Maia. Isabelle and Sheldon had come in last with only three attempted guesses and only two of them correctly but they looked as though they’d had the most fun playing, assuming from the huge smiles and traces of whipped cream that both displayed on their faces.

Meanwhile, Magnus was standing mere inches from Alexander and was trying _so_ hard not to look at him.

“Okay, last game! It works similar like the last one: One needs to feed the other. But this time you won’t get blindfolded and it’s not about guessing the flavor of something. Instead, both partners will get their hands tied behind their back. Every couple will get ten of these little chocolates from me,” she held a tiny praline up that was wrapped into golden tin foil, “and you need to unwrap it and feed it to your partner without using your hands. I suggest the one who was being fed last time should feed now. There won’t be a time stop, whoever finishes first gets twenty points and the rest will get points for whoever far they got: One point for taking the wrapper off and another one for feeding it. Since we need at least one person to tie everyone’s hands behind their backs we’re going to split up into two rounds. First round are Jace and I, Simon, Izzy, Helen and Aline, second round are Lydia, Maia, Magnus and Alec.”

Great. Everything Magnus needed right now was even more contact with Alexander’s mouth. He honestly didn’t know if he should be excited or anxious at that prospect but somehow he managed to be both. 

Since Alexander and him were in the second round he made himself useful by tying Helen’s hands behind her back before going back to stand next to Alexander, just to be close to him but still crossing his arms to not get tempted to touch him. Alexander himself had his hands clasped behind his back, as he often had.

Although most of his attention was taken up by focusing on the space between Alexander and him and concentrating on not looking at him, he did manage to follow the game and even shout motivations at the other couples. It turned out that this was a game that Isabelle and Solomon were surprisingly good at, although Isabelle always wasted a few precious seconds by kissing her boyfriend several times after each treat. Jace, however, seemed to have some problems with the tin foil and when Helen and Aline finished first he had only managed to feed Clary four of the pralines, compared to the eight that Isabelle and Skylar had managed.

When it was their turn Magnus was nervous, which he thought a good compromise between anxiety and excitement. He let Isabelle tie his hands behind his back and waited for Biscuit to give the start sign. Aline was tying Alexander’s hands together and only when she was done Magnus met his gaze again.

It was almost impossible to read Alexander’s expression, even for Magnus who knew him inside out. He seemed to be searching for something in Magnus’s face. There was intensity in his eyes and… hopefulness? Or maybe that was just Magnus’s imagination. He wondered if Alexander had found what he’d been looking for if Magnus wasn’t even sure what he was feeling himself at the moment. 

They didn’t break eye contact, even when Biscuit started talking again.

“Okay, since you are currently both in the lead, whichever team wins this game, wins the whole contest. Ready, set, go!”

Only then, Alexander averted his gaze and immediately bowed down to the pile of pralines on the table. Magnus watched him carefully unwrapping the chocolate and picking it up with his teeth. He bent his knees a little to make it easier for Alexander and met him in the middle to accept the treat. Awkwardly, he tilted his head to better catch it with his teeth, careful not to brush the other man’s lips with his own, for fear of crossing a line. When he securely had it he could feel the chocolate immediately starting to melt on his tongue but before he had the chance to lean back again, so that his friend could bow down to get the next praline, Alexander suddenly surged forward and pressed their lips together.

It all happened so fast Magnus barely had the time to process it all but before he had realized what just happened he was already kissing back. Magnus stopped thinking completely, his mind filled with nothing but the feeling of Alexander close to him, their mouths moving together.

The kiss was soft, Alexander’s lips moving slowly but not without urgency. He stepped even closer to Magnus who had to raise his chin a little to accommodate for the height difference. Frustrated Magnus tugged at his hand ties but Isabelle was apparently a master at tying undoable knots because the band around his hands didn’t even loosen, despite his struggles. Eventually he gave up and shuffled even closer to Alexander, their torsos pressed together. Their lips moved in perfect harmony with each other and Magnus lost himself in the sensation. Distantly, he noticed their audience catcalling them. He heard Jace taunt: “You’re supposed to eat the chocolate, not each other!” but he didn’t care.

Finally, Alexander pulled away. Magnus chased his lips for a second before he could hold himself back. Both a little out of breath, they stared at each. Alexander’s cheeks were flushed and his eyes wide, his pupils dilated and Magnus had no doubt he was sporting the exact same look. But then Alexander’s eyes dropped back down to his lips and a second later he was pressing another soft kiss onto the corner of Magnus’s mouth. 

Magnus turned his head a little and it all started again. It didn’t matter that their friends were laughing at them and telling them to get back to the game. The game itself didn’t matter at all. They only parted when Lydia and Maia were finished and everyone told them to just _stop already_.

“Didn’t think you two would throw away your victory for a make-out session. I thought you’d get enough of that at home,” Aline teased them.

Magnus grinned, still dizzy from the kiss. “My dear, I don’t think there is such a thing as getting enough of it.”

 

-

 

After Maia and Lydia had been declared the official winners of the contest and collected their prize in form of a giant chocolate heart, Alexander and Magnus were quick to excuse themselves from the party. Magnus hugged Biscuit goodbye, told Maia to drop by the next day for their meet-up that was long due by now and told Isabelle to text him so that they could choose a date for their next shopping trip.

He and Alexander didn’t exchange a single word with each other during the drive home and Magnus was oddly reminded of that one night when they’d gone to meet their friends at the bar and Alexander had accidentally spilled beer over him. It was the same kind of sexual tension, the same kind of electricity between them that made it hard to breathe. The last time it had been underlined by an unspoken promise, the expectation of a follow-up where all this tension would reach its peak. A promise that had never been fulfilled. 

This time there was no promise. Being reminded of that one night also meant being reminded of the disastrous ending it had found. So many things had changed since then; the most obvious one being that instead of avoiding kissing Magnus, Alexander had initiated a kiss. But now, Magnus didn’t know what would happen next. The effects of their kiss were still lasting in a way that made him almost giddy but he also knew that they had to talk. This had to mean something and they would have to determine what it was. 

The drive from Jace and Biscuit’s place to Magnus’s apartment wasn’t long but this was New York and traffic was always bad. When they were yet again stuck behind another car, Magnus made the first move.

“So, that just happened.”

Alexander nodded. “Yeah, that just happened.”

“We really need to talk about this,” Magnus pushed further.

Alexander nodded again. Magnus could see the other man trying to search for the right words, an expression that he knew well on his face, and so he waited for him to speak. 

“Magnus,” he started whilst Magnus tried to mentally prepare himself for whatever would come next. 

But before he could continue the car behind them honked a few times and the driver shouted at them to drive. Neither of them had noticed that the traffic had started to keep moving again. After that they didn’t get stuck again, not even behind a red light, until they were at the apartment.

Magnus tried to ignore the tension in the car but the kiss compared with the images that had been planted into his head today wouldn’t leave him and he couldn’t stop his eyes from always darting back to Alexander, taking in his arms, his torso, his profile. It didn’t help that he could see his friend struggling to do the same, stealing looks at Magnus every few seconds and licking his lips almost ridiculously often. The lips that not even an hour ago had closed around Magnus’s whip cream-covered fingers. Lips that, even more recently, he had kissed.

Magnus clawed his hand into his leg. _Wrong_ thought.

As soon as they had parked Magnus practically threw the door open, getting out of the vehicle as quickly as possible. The fresh air helped to cool him a little. He really needed to get a grip onto himself. The kiss had obviously made the unresolved sexual tension level shoot through the roof and beyond but this was not the time to respond to his impulses, like he’d tried to the first times. They had to talk this out first.

After Alexander’s accident Magnus had finally called someone to repair the elevator which spared them having to climb all those stairs up to their apartment. Something Magnus would have been grateful for any other day but that day he would have preferred having to have an excuse to use the stairs. Anything to not be alone with Alexander in such small space because that made it really hard to not think about all the things they could be doing right now that were definitely not kid-friendly. The universe seemed to be out and about to test his impulse control of which he didn’t have much to begin with.

He knew that the time they spent riding up in the elevator could have been used to continue the conversation they had begun in the car but something was holding him back from bringing it up again. It was the belief that it was time for Magnus to take a step back and let Alexander decide for once; no scheming, no trying to make the other one fall for him and no pretending to be in a relationship. This kiss had meant something and it was for Alexander to decide what that was.

Over the course of the last few months he had received some very mixed signals, most of them because of their whole relationship pretense. The kiss today had felt different. It had felt _real_. And most importantly, it had Magnus hope again. Hope that maybe, just maybe, there was the slight possibility that Alexander might… like him back. But if he truly did then that realization must have come very recently to the other man, seeing as the last time Magnus had made a move on him Alexander had successfully chosen a concussion over a kiss.

Magnus knew what he wanted their kiss to mean but Alexander might still have to figure that out. Unlike Magnus, his friend hadn’t been pining for years and may need an adjustment period in which he had to sort everything out and accept the fact that their friendship might be heading into higher territory. Or decide he didn’t like that and choose for their kiss to mean nothing at all. But Magnus decided that he wouldn’t think about that and rather stay positive.

Because if he was right and Alexander really did like him back (and Magnus prayed to every and any entity there may exist that he was) then the worst that could happen was that he might need some time to come to terms with that. And Magnus was more than willing to give him that time. He had waited for more than five years. He could wait a bit longer.

If only he could get out of this elevator because right now being so close to Alexander was killing him. He needed a cold shower. Now.

They arrived at their floor and Magnus took another ragged breath and stepped out of the elevator, fumbling with his keys. He turned the key and the lock opened with a soft click. When he went to push the door open a white hand with long elegant fingers beat him to it. Startled, Magnus looked up to his friend who was suddenly standing impossibly close. His chest was almost touching Magnus’s back, his left arm going around Magnus to open the door and his head lowered a little so that he could look into Magnus’s eyes. 

Magnus hesitated for a second, his heartbeat skipping, waiting to see if the other man would make a move but when Alexander didn’t, he inhaled deeply, tore his eyes away and walked into the apartment. As soon as he’d gotten rid of his coat he announced that he would take a shower and headed to the bathroom without looking back.

“Magnus, wait!” The voice was enough to make him stop dead in his tracks. 

“Yes?” Maybe his voice sounded a little too eager, a little too hopeful. 

Alexander took a hesitant step into his direction, nervously licking his lips. Magnus could see his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. Without meaning to he let his eyes wander down Alexander’s throat and then over his torso. He’d never noticed how well this shirt fit his friend. 

“I just… uh…” He took another half-step. Magnus waited expectantly and wide-eyed. This was the moment. Finally, Magnus would know for sure. 

Only then Alexander retreated that half-step he had made again and broke their eye contact.

“Nothing,” he murmured. 

Magnus tried to hide his disappointment. It was okay. It might take a while; Magnus had expected that after all. It didn’t matter how much he wanted to kiss him again, how he could feel Alexander wanted this as well if he knew at the same time that the other man still needed time. 

A shower. He needed a shower.

In the bathroom he hastily started stripping out of his clothes. Just when he was about to pull off his pants he remembered that the shampoo was still in the grocery bag, in the kitchen where he had left it after their hurried grocery errand.

Biting his lip, Magnus tried to decide whether he should get dressed again or simply stay like he was, run into the kitchen, get the shampoo and get back again as quickly as possible. If he stood before Alexander with nothing but his trousers on that would be more than counterproductive in their current situation. But then again, Alexander didn’t have to see him. The other man was probably still in the living room, busying himself with reading, working or Netflix, like Magnus knew him. Magnus could just sneak by, get the shampoo and be back in a second. Yeah, he’d do that.

Magnus nodded to himself and took one deep breath, ready to make a run for it. Determined he pulled the door open, only to freeze in his movement when he saw Alexander standing right in front of him, a bottle of shampoo in his hand.

“I thought you might need that,” Alexander explained weakly, raising the shampoo bottle.

Magnus didn’t react. His heart was thumping loudly and his skin prickling. He could see Alexander’s eyes roaming over him and felt the heat rising in his cheeks.

Why Magnus did what he did then, he couldn’t explain. He was pretty sure that it had something to do with his poor impulse control though because one moment he was still standing there, motionless, and the other he suddenly stepped forward, grabbed Alexander by the front of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. And Alexander kissed back.

It was nothing like the one they’d shared about an hour ago but no less addictive. It started a little messy but they soon found their own rhythm and then it was as easy as breathing. He gasped into the kiss and threw both arms around Alexander’s neck, pressing his body as close to the other man as possible who had one hand on Magnus’s back and the other on his hip, holding him in place.

Everything, all the waiting and pining, the torment, the crying, everything was worth this one moment in which both of them kissed the other like there was no tomorrow.

Magnus didn’t know how they got to the bed but suddenly they were both lying down, Magnus hovering over Alexander. He impatiently tried to unbutton Alexander’s shirt but his hasty fingers weren’t much use so he simply ripped it open. For a few seconds he managed to tear himself from Alexander’s lips in order to take in the view in front of him. 

He’d seen Alexander shirtless already, many times, but never like this. Never for him to touch. With his right hand he reached out to run his fingers over Alexander’s hairy chest and down over his abs, making halt at the buckle of his belt. 

Not daring to go any further he met Alexander’s glance with a questioning look and was met with a smile. There was nothing but trust and fondness in Alexander’s eyes as he cupped Magnus’s face and pulled him back down into yet another kiss that melted even the last of his doubts as he let himself be lost in the sensation of kissing the man he loved.

 

-

 

Magnus woke up slowly, without opening his eyes. He felt warm and comfortable and well-rested and not like getting up at all. Sighing, he snuggled deeper into the sheets and tried to pull his blanket up to his nose for maximum comfort but the blanket seemed to be stuck somewhere. Frowning, he opened his eyes to see what it was and came to face a long, muscular arm wrapped around him that held the blanket down. 

Oh shit.

At once, everything came rushing back to Magnus. His eyes followed with horror the length of the arm up to a pale shoulder where it ran into the tall and beautiful body of his best friend who was still snoring into his pillow.

Alexander’s face looked soft and peaceful, the corners of his mouth turned upside just a little, like he was having a good dream. When Magnus saw him like that he wanted nothing more than to kiss Alexander awake and spend the day with him in bed. Just a perfect day after a perfect night. 

Magnus smiled. It really had been a perfect night. He didn’t regret a single thing about it. But fact was that he didn’t know how Alexander felt about it yet. One kiss didn’t equal a relationship and one night didn’t equal love. It was better to give him some space to wake up.

With a heavy heart, Magnus freed himself from Alexander’s embrace to brush his teeth and take a shower. It was almost wrong how this routine felt like the morning after any other one night stand. Like it meant nothing. And it was even weirder to think about how his last one night stand had actually been Alexander, which now wasn’t technically a one night stand anymore. 

Everything about this was just so fucked up. 

As soon as he was done showering he wrapped a towel around his waist and peeked out of the door to see if Alexander was already awake but the man was still lying there like he had been twenty minutes ago, his shoulder rising and falling in a steady rhythm. 

Magnus snuck out and walked into his wardrobe, which was a small room by itself, to get dressed. Meanwhile, he couldn’t help but curse himself. Why had he been so stupid? What on earth had he been thinking when he’d jumped Alexander like that? He hadn’t been thinking at all, that was it. 

He should have tried to talk to him first. They should have had a conversation to be sure they were on the same page before doing something that couldn’t be undone. But if he was lucky then they could talk about it now and everything would be solved. At least he hoped so.

When he stepped out of his closet again, Alexander was up and just about to pull on his jeans from last day. Magnus stopped in the door frame but his friend immediately noticed him. He looked up and smiled a little sheepishly.

“Good morning.” He didn’t cross the distance to get to Magnus. He just kept on standing there, feet bare and his shirt still lying on the ground somewhere.

“Morning.” Magnus tried to smile back but he knew it turned out rather weakly.

The seconds passed and they just stood there, awkwardly, both not really knowing what to do now. Finally, Magnus decided to simply pull the Band-Aid off in one quick movement. They had to talk about this.

“So, I think we both agree that we didn’t really handle things ideally last night,” he began, trying himself on another smile which failed even more miserably than the last one.

Alexander’s face fell and Magnus immediately knew that he had said something wrong. The sheepish smile was gone and replaced by a tense jawline and furrowed brows. Alexander was angry.

“Oh, do we? If you say so…” His voice was cool and slick.

Magnus was really off to a great start, he thought. Still, he began another attempt.

“We need to talk about what happened.”

“Why? You’ve been very clear. I don’t think more talking will be necessary.” Alexander walked to the foot of the bed, picked his shirt off the floor and put it on.

Magnus was confused. He didn’t know why the other man was suddenly so closed off. Desperately, he tried to find out what he’d said wrong. All he’d said was that things hadn’t gone ideally… oh my God, did Alexander think he was talking about the quality of the sex?

“Wait, no, Alexander! I don’t think you understand. Let me explain!”

But Alexander was in no mood to listen. “Do I really want to hear this? Or are you just going to say that last night was a mistake?”

“What? No, that’s not what I meant!”

“But that’s what it sounded like!”

“Maybe I could explain myself if you could just let me talk and listen!”

“Alright! Talk then! What did you mean?”

“I meant that for once I just want to know what this meant to you!” They’d gotten louder and louder with each sentence that had been gone back and forth so that by now Magnus was almost shouting and once he’d started he didn’t stop as he kept on talking.

“I’ve spent the last _months_ wondering what this between us means to you because ever since we started to pretend to be engaged I don’t know what’s real anymore and what isn’t! And the only mistake I can think of right now was that we did this before we talked about it first, something that I blame myself for! For months now, we’ve done nothing but lie. We lied to our friends, to our families, about our relationship, about what we’re doing and I am so sick of it! So all I want is one single truth. What did last night mean to you, Alexander? Because it meant a lot to me.”

The last sentence he said without power. He was tired of fighting. He was tired of lying. And most of all, he was tired of hiding. And that was why, after everything, he finished his speech with two sentences that he’d been meaning to say for almost five years now.

“Because I… I love you, Alexander. I’m in love with you.” 

After those words had left his mouth, Magnus had nothing left to say, so he waited.

Alexander’s face was a mask of shock and disbelief but Magnus couldn’t even bring himself to be afraid anymore. All this time he’d been so scared to be rejected but now there was nothing left to lose. He’d said all he could. All his cards were lying on the table and he had no secret ace up his sleeve. Now it was Alexander’s turn to make a move.

It took him what felt like ages until he finally did, though.

“What?” he stammered. “You… you love me?”

Magnus clenched his fist and unclenched it again. Looking onto the floor, he nodded. 

“I understand that this is a lot to take in. I believe it’s best if you take some time for yourself to think about some things.”

Without casting another look at Alexander, Magnus walked to the bedroom door to open it for his friend. Only, when he opened the door there was someone on the other side.

Maia was standing in the middle of his living room, mouth hanging open and eyes wide in shock.

“Maia? What are you doing here?”

“We had a date for brunch, remember? The front door was open, so I let myself in.” She gestured helplessly at the front door, obviously very uncomfortable with her current situation.

“How long have you been standing there?” Magnus knew the answer to his question even before Maia had the chance to respond. 

“A while,” she confessed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” She left a small pause. “Is it true? Was it all fake?”

Magnus couldn’t do this. Not right now. Not whilst Alexander was still standing in the same room with him. Taking a deep breath he tried to make himself sound as calm and collected as possible.

“Alexander, I think it’s better if you leave now,” he said, directing his gaze yet again onto the floor.

“Please, don’t…” 

Magnus closed his eyes at the vulnerability in his friend’s voice. Why did he have to make it so much harder?

“Just leave,” he insisted.

“Magnus…”

“ _Go!_ ”

Finally, Alexander seemed to get the message. Hastily, he grabbed his shoes and jacket, passed Magnus on his way out of the room and a few seconds later the front door shut behind him.

Magnus didn’t think he’d ever heard a sound that had appeared so final to him like the sound of the shutting door just now. Suddenly, he felt like crying. Pressing his lips together he held the tears back for one more moment to talk to Maia.

“I’m afraid it’s true,” he confessed. “We’ve been lying to you. I’m sorry.”

“But why?” Maia’s voice was soft but underneath Magnus could hear that she was hurt. Only, currently he couldn’t speak about this.

“I’m sorry, I’ll explain everything, I promise. But right now I need some time for myself. I’m so sorry we need to reschedule our day together again. I’ll make it up to you.” Magnus hated how obvious it was in his tone that he was about to cry. He looked away so that she wouldn’t see that there were tears prickling in his eyes.

“Of course, don’t worry.” She turned to leave as well but before she walked through the door she looked back one more time.

“Magnus? Do you want me to keep this a secret?”

Magnus hesitated shortly but then he shook his head. “Tell who you want. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

She nodded and then she was gone too, leaving Magnus all on his own who finally allowed himself to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oopsie daisy.
> 
> So, this just happened. Any thoughts about this chapter you want to share go into the comments or into the ask box on my [tumblr](http://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/) where I can obsess about them for forever.
> 
> Stay tuned for the next - and last! - chapter that I'm going to write out of Alec's POV!! (since something from his perspective has been requested by a lot of you)
> 
> Pssst, I'm gonna tell you a secret. Come closer. My beta is actually a superhero in disguise. She goes by 'Jojo' and has the power to beta-read at the speed of light and boost self-esteem with her supernatural powers. If you don't believe me, go visit her and see for yourself. ([Her tumblr](https://an-indecisive-fangirl.tumblr.com/), [her blog](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/))


	12. Fuck Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The grand finale. But this time Alec gets a turn at telling his part of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws 22k chapter at you* IT'S FUCKING FINISHED YOU FUCKERS 
> 
> oh shit, did i hit your head? sorry about that... my bad.
> 
> i'm dedicating this chapter to Francesca798. francesca (i'm gonna go ahead and assume that's your name) you managed to ask for an update in a sweet and almost shy way and when i read your comment i was... so fucking drunk. i am surprised i managed to answer you in a comprehensible manner since it took me a full twenty minutes to spell the word 'guaranteed' and i'm still not sure i did it right. it's a tricky word. anyway, my drunken self suddenly felt the urge to write the whole chapter in one night, just for you. i did not do that but i did write another 4k words which is a lot for me to write in one night. of course all of that was bullshit. it was 4am. i should not have been writing. but i had a lot to laugh about whilst editing and i'd like to thank you for that. thank you, francesca. this is for you <3

The first time Alexander Gideon Lightwood met Magnus Bane he was in a bad mood. It was his twenty-first birthday and his siblings had insisted that he’d celebrate with alcohol. Instead, they had celebrated for him with alcohol whilst he’d stayed sober to watch out for them. 

Only Izzy wanted to have none of it.

“C’mon, Alec, relax! Have fun! It’s your birthday!” she shouted over the deafening sound of the music. 

“I am having fun!” he shouted back.

“What?” she screamed, leaning forward to hear him better. 

He brought his lips to her ear before shouting again: “I said I am having fun!”

“Gee, Alec! Don’t shout like that! “

That moment Alec could feel someone tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around to see a young man, about his age, who was dressed in a sparkling shirt and seemed to have trouble keeping an upright position. After a second of confused staring Alec realized that the stranger had said something. 

He leaned forward to understand him better.

“What?” he shouted.

The stranger repeated whatever he’d previously said but Alec still couldn’t understand him properly. He raised both eyebrows in confusion.

Then the man stepped closer to him and out of reflex Alec took a step back. He didn’t know how exactly the man managed it but somehow he stumbled, probably over his own feet, and was about to fall, trying to hold onto Alec for support. Alec tried to catch him but seriously underestimated the weight of the other man. And before he knew what was happening he was on the floor, on top of the stranger, with a searing pain in his wrist.

 

-

 

Until they eventually got to the hospital, everything was pure chaos. Izzy panicked, the stranger was unconscious and when the stranger’s friends showed up one of them tried to start a fight with Alec, thinking it was his fault.

Finally, everything was cleared up and Alec was sitting in the ER with his siblings, getting his hand bandaged. 

“I can’t believe this is the first time a guy actually flirts with you and it ends like this,” Izzy joked.

Alec frowned. “Flirted? He was completely drunk.”

Izzy rolled her eyes. “Duh, but he was totally hitting on you before he sprained your wrist and passed out.”

“I can’t believe I missed all the fun,” Jace complained.

“Oh, I think you had plenty of fun tonight,” Izzy teased. “I’ve seen the girl. She’s pretty.”

Jace grinned and puffed his chest out a little like he always did when he had something to brag about. But Alec could’ve sworn he saw a faint blush on his brother’s cheeks. But then again Izzy didn’t comment on it so he supposed he’d been wrong. 

Instead he thought about what Izzy had said about the stranger. Had he really been flirting? Alec wondered what he’d have done if there hadn’t been the accident, if he’d understood right away what the other man had said, maybe even if the other man hadn’t been drunk. What would Alec have done? Would he have flirted back?

Alec tried to remember what the stranger looked like but the light in the club had been low and so he hadn’t gotten a very good look at him.

Maybe it was pure curiosity that drove him to wait in the hospital. Maybe he was just hoping to get another glimpse at the man. His siblings seemed confused but didn’t question him about it as he told them that he wanted to wait until he knew whether the other man was okay or not. They just waited alongside him. Alec appreciated their company, especially after over an hour of waiting had already passed and they still sat there, next to him. 

They had tried asking at the reception but since they didn’t have a name to give the receptionist she couldn’t help them. No one mentioned that they might not ever find out who the man was or if he was alright and that they might be sitting there all night. But they were in luck. After they’d waited for almost two hours Jace spotted the girl that had been with the stranger walking to the coffee machine and inserting a number of coins.

Alec immediately jogged up to her.

“Hey! Sorry, I’m Alec. We just met at the club. I was the guy your friend ran into? I mean, you probably know that, it only happened a few hours ago. Anyway, I was wondering if you could tell me if your friend is okay? He looked pretty… unconscious.”

The girl raised one eyebrow. It was hard to tell whether she was skeptical or just surprised. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Alec. But don’t worry, Magnus is perfectly fine. He just had too much to drink and hit his head a little too hard. He’ll probably be out by tomorrow.”

She took a steaming hot paper cup of coffee into her hands and turned around to leave again. _Magnus._ So that was his name.

“Can I… see him?” Alec called after her.

She stopped turned her head towards him. “He’s still unconscious. But if you want to I can tell him that you asked for him when he wakes up.”

Alec hesitated. Suddenly he felt very silly for waiting in the hospital that long for a man he had never met before and whose name he hadn’t even known until about two seconds ago. 

“No, that’s okay. I think it’s better if you don’t tell him. Thanks, though.”

The girl sent him a first smile. “No worries. I’m Cat, by the way.” And then she left.

Alec walked back to his siblings. “Let’s go home.”

“What?” Jace asked. “Why? What happened?”

Alec shrugged. “Nothing. He’s still unconscious. But he’ll be okay.”

“Don’t you want to see him?” Izzy pried.

Alec simply shook his head. “No, it’s fine. Let’s just go home. I’m sorry I’ve made you guys wait so long.”

“I guess it was only fair,” Jace pointed out. “After all we also let you spent hours at the club. And it _is_ your birthday.”

Alec smiled weakly. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

 

-

 

The second time he saw Magnus Bane he was tired. Alec had overslept and was actually already late for class but decided that there was always time to get a coffee, especially in the early morning.

And so he found himself in line at Starbucks, trying to silently make the person in front of him just pick a fucking type of coffee. It’s not that hard of a choice to make.

After the middle aged woman changed her mind for the fourth time at the last second Alec was about ready to rip her head off with his bare hands. Luckily, she then settled on a simple Java Chip Chocolate Cream Frappuccino blended beverage with extra caramel syrup. The barista seemed almost as relieved as Alec when the woman finally left.

“Hey, what can I get you?”

“Coffee. Black.”

“Short or tall?” the barista asked.

Alec shot her a mildly threatening look and she quickly nodded and reached for the bigger cup. After what felt like an eternity he finally held hot, precious, black caffeine in his hands. With pure gusto he raised the cup to his nose to inhale the bitter scent of coffee beans and allowed himself a small little smile. 

His mood considerably improved, he reached for one of the plastic lids to his left when someone stumbled into him. He could feel the cup slip from his fingers and knew instinctively that he would be too slow to catch it. But before the horror of spilled coffee could become reality, another hand shot forward and caught the cup midair, only spilling a small sip.

Alec’s savior hissed as the steaming hot liquid splashed over his fingers and Alec quickly reached forward to take the cup again. With wonder and relief he looked at his the intact beverage in his hand. 

“Thank you,” he said gratefully, raising his gaze to see who’d saved his morning. It was a man his age that looked vaguely familiar. He was wearing a low buttoned shirt and several necklaces and had purple streaks dyed into his hair. He was handsome, Alec thought. 

“No worries, darling. You look like you could use every drop of that,” the man joked. 

Actually, the man could even be considered beautiful, Alec corrected himself as he saw him laughing.

“Is there a name to go with that handsome face of yours?” the stranger asked. 

“Alec… xander…” Alec trailed off. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d seen the other man before. And then it hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Hey, weren’t you that guy who stumbled into me at the club last Saturday? The one who blacked out like right after?” 

Alec saw how the man’s expression froze both in recognition and horror before finally crumbling into a sheepish smile. Embarrassed, he massaged his hands.

“Not one of my brightest moments, certainly.”

Alec tried to remember his name. He knew the girl at the hospital, Cat, had dropped it but he just couldn’t grasp it.

“It’s… Max, no, Magnus, right?”

Surprised, Magnus looked up. “Yes.”

“Your friend, Cat, told me your name,” Alec explained, hoping it wouldn’t make him sound like some sort of stalker. After all, he hadn’t done anything except waiting in a hospital. 

Magnus expression cleared and he smiled again, this time more open and friendly. 

Suddenly, Alec remembered the reason why he was even awake at this godforsaken hour and also that he didn’t have any time to stand around chatting with strangers. He took a look at his watch and cursed.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I gotta go. I’m super late for class. See you around!” He was already half out of the door when Magnus called him back.

“Hey, Alexander! Will you be at the game this Saturday?”

Jace played football. Alec and Izzy were forced to go to every single game. He nodded.

“See you there then,” Magnus said.

Alec nodded again and smiled before hurrying to his class.

 

-

 

“It’s a date!” Izzy exclaimed, eyes sparkling with glee.

“Don’t be ridiculous. He was just asking if he might be seeing me at the game. That’s not exactly a dinner invitation.”

“You cannot possibly know this yet, Alec, but not every date consist of dinner and a movie,” Izzy said, letting the tone of her voice fall into one of a patient teacher.

“Alec has a date?” Jace peeked into the room from behind the door frame. His hair was still damp from the shower.

Izzy nodded and his brother broke into a shit-eating grin. 

“Who’s the lucky guy?” he asked, walking into the room and dropping himself on Alec’s bed.

“There is no lucky guy. Izzy is making things up,” Alec corrected him.

His sister ignored him. “It’s the one from the club. The one we waited for in the hospital?”

“Ooohh,” Jace teased, “Alec’s got it bad!”

Alec rolled his eyes and sighed, realizing that there was no use in telling his siblings the truth since they didn’t want to believe it anyway. Instead, he grabbed a pillow and hit his brother in the face.

 

-

 

The night of the game the bleachers were fully occupied. Everyone was dressed in their school colors – red and black – and excited for the game to start. Alec and Izzy had armed themselves with arms full of snacks and been able to secure themselves two seats close to the fields to watch their brother.

A few times Alec looked around to see if Magnus actually had some but considering the sea of people he quickly realized that he’d never find him anyway and gave up. Nevertheless, Izzy caught him looking.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be there.”

She sounded so supportive that Alec didn’t bother explaining to her that she was completely misreading his intentions. Still, she proved to be right.

After the game they walked down to the field to congratulate their brother on his win - although Alec insisted that it wasn’t good for Jace’s ego to flatter him too much – when Alec was surprised to hear a familiar voice.

“I’d hoped to see you here, Alexander.”

When Alec turned around he saw Magnus standing right behind him, flanked by two of his friends that Alec recognized from the club. He looked just as well put-together as the last times he’d seen him in his nicely cut coat that seemed more fashionable than weather-appropriate.

“Although, I didn’t know you knew the star of today’s show,” Magnus added, nodding his head towards Jace.

“Jace is my brother,” Alec explained. 

If Magnus was surprised by this revelation, seeing as there was zero resemblance between the two, he didn’t show it. Instead, he carried on neatly.

“I’m actually here to congratulate one of the team members as well but I think Raphael won’t mind to wait a little longer. Maybe you could introduce me to your friend instead?” he said, looking at Izzy.

“That’s my sister,” Alec told him. He felt pretty stupid, just listing off his family relations like that. It probably made him look like he had no friends and only hung out with his siblings all the time, which, to be fair, was a fairly good description of his social circle.

Luckily, Izzy was suavity incorporated. She took a step towards Magnus and held out her hand for him to shake.

“Hey, I’m Isabelle.”

He took her hand and said: “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Isabelle. I see the good looks run in the family.”

He winked playfully and Izzy laughed. Then he turned to Jace who immediately put on his usual arrogant grin. “Nice to finally see you conscious,” he commented, which made Alec want to sink into a hole in the ground.

But Magnus simply mirrored the smile. “Can you blame me for fainting at the sight of a handsome face?”

Jace laughed. “You’re alright, man. Look, the team is probably waiting for me but I’ll catch you around, okay?” He was now talking to both Magnus and his siblings and waited for them to nod and smile before he jogged off to join his team mates in their celebration.

Izzy turned to Magnus. “We were thinking about maybe grabbing some late dinner. Would you and your friend like to join us?” she offered. 

Magnus agreed and also introduced his two friends, Cat (who Alec recognized as the one he’d spoke to in the hospital) and Ragnor (who Alec recognized as the one that tried to beat Alec up in the club, thinking that it was his fault that Magnus was passed out).

And after Magnus, Cat and Ragnor excused themselves for a few minutes to congratulate their friend Raphael, who was also on the team, they were on their way.

Alec almost couldn’t believe how easy-to-talk-to Magnus was. There seemed to be no awkward silences between them and Magnus actually seemed to seek the conversation with him instead of turning to Izzy who was the better conversationalist. But Magnus asked him one question after the other and had no problem delivering information himself.

And so Alec found out that Magnus was majoring in architecture at the same university that Alec went to, that he was born in Indonesia but moved to the US with his step-father after his mother died and that his friends were his family and that he loved them more than anything in this world.

They got so caught up in their talking that after dinner the two of them decided to separate themselves from the rest of the group to go on a walk that eventually led them back to the playing field.

Everyone else was already long gone, the field abandoned and the bleachers occupied only by empty plastic cups and fast food wrapping paper.

“Did you ever play yourself?” Magnus asked, nodding towards the field.

“I tried once. My Dad wanted all his boys to play but he had more luck with Jace than he had with me. Now he’s trying to see how far he can come with my baby brother next but so far Max’s only success stands in scaring off our neighbor’s dog.”

“And he’s right to do so. Never trust a dog.”

“You’re a cat person?”

“With body and soul.”

Alec smiled. “Me too.” Then he remembered what they’d talked about before.

“Did you ever play?” he asked. “Football, I mean.”

“No, it was never quite my sport.” He paused. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure,” Alec said, instinctively stepping closer. He felt like a little boy again, sharing secrets like that. It was a good feeling. 

“But you have to promise never to tell anyone else.”

Alec put a hand over his heart. “I’ll take it with me to my grave,” he swore.

Magnus stepped closer until he could whisper into Alec’s ear. A shiver ran down Alec’s spine when Magnus’s breath brushed his neck. He put his jacket closer around himself.

“I used to do athletics.”

Alec raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Athletics,” he echoed.

Magnus nodded.

“You’re kidding.” True, Magnus was tall and muscular so he could fit into the usual athletics scheme but there was no way a man this fashionable ever dared to run around in bright yellow short-shorts. 

“So, were you a sprinter or a long-distance runner?” He tried to remain serious but he couldn’t help the teasing edge that had stolen itself into his voice.

“I was a sprinter,” Magnus responded with all the pride he could muster. “Although, my stamina could make you think otherwise…” Magnus smirked meaningfully like he just told a joke that Alec was supposed to get. But since Alec didn’t have a clue what the punchline was he decided to ignore it so to not embarrass himself. Instead, an idea sparked in him.

“That means you’re fast?”

Magnus seemed to read the challenge in Alec’s eyes before he had to say it out loud.

“Faster than you, I bet,” he taunted.

“Race me to the middle line?” Alec proposed.

“It’s on. What does the winner get?”

Alec let his mind wander. What did he want? Right now, he didn’t want much. He’d never had many friends but he really enjoyed spending time with Magnus. He made everything that he usually dreaded about socializing so easy. Right now, all he wanted was to be friends with him. It didn’t take him long to find an excuse to spend more time with him.

“Let’s see… if I win you’ll have to accompany me to my family’s annual garden party. My parents invite a bunch of business people and it’s the most boring event of the year. I am forced to attend every time and it’s pure torture.”

Magnus grinned. “It’s a deal. And what do I get when I win?”

“When? Feeling awfully sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

Magnus just shrugged and waited for Alec to answer the question. 

“Hmmm… I don’t know. A favor?” he suggested.

The other man didn’t consider long. “You’re giving me a blank check, Alexander? That’s very brave of you. But okay, I’ll try to use it wisely. Let’s do this.”

They got into position and counted down from three together.

Magnus won. And he was anything but humble about it.

 

-

 

The months to come Alec spent more and more time with Magnus, mostly in groups with their friends but sometimes it was just the two of them and those were Alec’s favorite. Magnus was in many ways almost the exact opposite of Alec but they were the same in the ways that mattered and Alec felt himself grow bolder and more open with the other man around and he liked this new version of himself. Magnus still made a lot of jokes that Alec didn’t really get but by now he knew that they were almost always dirty and Alec thought he’d at least gotten a little better at deciphering them.

The only thing that still confused Alec was that Izzy and Jace still believed that he had a crush on Magnus and constantly encouraged him to ask the other man out no matter how many times Alec insisted that he had no romantic feelings for Magnus whatsoever.

But despite that minor inconvenience Alec enjoyed having a friend that he didn’t grow up with in the same house. He still loved his siblings, of course, and spent a lot of time with them but they both had other friends as well and now he had one of his own too. He was happy.

But things changed when Camille appeared. Alec didn’t know much about her because Magnus didn’t like to talk about it but he knew that Magnus and her had history together. At first, Alec didn’t think much about it when Magnus told him that he’d met her again in a bar and decided to catch up and spent some time with her again. But then, more and more, Magnus started spending all his free time with her and had less time for Alec. 

Alec tried not to sulk about it but he’d grown so used to always having Magnus around that he’d be lying if he said that the change wasn’t hard on him. But that only meant that he treasured the time he had with Magnus all the more. 

That was why he’d been looking forward to that particular Saturday night all week. It had been an awful week, filled with stress and bad luck, and he’d been planning on meeting Magnus, Ragnor, Cat and Raphael at a bar. He’d already imagined what the evening would go like and had been looking forward to complaining about the terrible week he’d had to Magnus. But when he entered the bar and spotted Magnus and his friends at a table, there was another girl with them that he didn’t know. She sat on Magnus lap, stroking his hair with one hand and when Magnus turned his head towards her she leaned down and kissed him. 

Alec wasn’t sure why he was so startled. He should have expected it. Maybe he simply knew that now that Magnus and Camille were officially together Magnus would have even less time for Alec. Which was a very selfish thought. Suddenly, he was looking forward to the evening a lot less than before.

He hadn’t noticed that he’d been standing right in the doorway, just staring over to his friends’ table until someone pushed him from behind, trying to enter the bar. Alec stumbled and decided to just get it over with.

The whole evening was torture. Magnus seemed to be genuinely glad to see Alec but Camille already looked at him with such distaste that Alec decided then and there that he didn’t like her. Meanwhile, Cat, Ragnor and Raphael had chosen to bear the situation with a lot of alcohol.

It was only when Camille went to use the restroom and Magnus left to get them another round of drinks that Alec finally voiced his complaints.

“I don’t get it,” he said, “how can someone like Magnus pick someone like Camille out of all people!”

Ragnor and Cat shared a long look until Ragnor finally sighed and turned to Alec like a parent that was about to give his son the talk.

“You weren’t there the last time so can’t possibly know that but Camille is Magnus’s blind spot. She was his first love and for some bloody reason he is determined to only think good of her. But it always runs the same circle. She uses him and then disposes of him when she’s tired. He’s heartbroken, finds a rebound and eventually gets back on track until she decides that she wants him back and that is when it all starts again.”

Alec felt slightly sick. This is what Magnus had to go through again? He looked at Cat as though she might tell him that it was all a bad joke but she simply nodded. 

“But we can’t just sit here and let it happen. I mean, Magnus is our friend, if we think she’s bad for him then we should tell him!”

“What do you think we did the last times, champ? Sit on our arses and watch the show go? Magnus doesn’t want to listen.” Ragnor tried to take another gulp out of his glass to underline his words but was cruelly reminded that it was already empty.

“All we can do is wait and be there for him when it eventually crashes and burns again,” Cat agreed.

Alec wanted to say something else but at that moment Magnus returned to their table, balancing four beers in his hands, Camille right behind him with a glass of red wine.

 

-

 

Camille and Magnus stayed together for almost two years. Two years full of tears and fights in which Alec could see how unhappy Magnus was whilst Magnus didn’t seem to see it himself. And if he did he didn’t see his girlfriend as the source of his unhappiness. 

Alec and Magnus’s friendship suffered a lot in the beginning. Alec ignored Cat and Ragnor’s words and tried to tell Magnus how toxic his relationship with Camille was but Magnus didn’t take it well. They fought more and more until they realized that Camille was a topic they couldn’t talk about. And so they didn’t. After that they returned more or less to their old state of easiness but it was always weird to have this blind spot when they used to be able to talk about everything.

And then the day came when Magnus and Camille broke up. 

Cat texted Alec to give him a heads-up since she was the first to know. Alec immediately texted Magnus to let him know that he was there if he needed him but Magnus didn’t text back. Instead, he showed up on Alec’s door step two days later.

“Magnus?”

The man in front of him looked tired, with red, puffy eyes that were underlined by deep circles.

“May I come in?” His voice was calm but it was the kind of calmness that came from exhaustion.

Alec stepped aside so that Magnus could enter. “Cat told me what happened. I’m so sorry, Magnus.”

Magnus took his time to answer but then he said: “I’m not.”

Alec frowned, asking himself if maybe he’d heard wrong but then Magnus continued.

“I’m glad it’s all over. I’ve finally opened my eyes, not only to her true nature but also to what truly matters to me. And most importantly, what my feelings are and what they’ve been all along.”

Magnus paused, looking at Alec like he was waiting for a reaction but Alec wasn’t sure where this was going nor what Magnus wanted him to do and so he waited.

Magnus took a deep breath and stepped closer to Alec. He raised his chin slightly so that he could look Alec directly into his eyes.

“It was never _her_ that I wanted. It was you. That is, if you want me too.”

Everything in Alec’s head was spinning. _It was you._

Magnus liked him? Like, like-liked him? He was so frozen in shock he didn’t know how to react. He didn’t know what to do, what to say. What did someone say when something like this happened?

Alec had never received a confession like that ever before and out of all people he probably would never have expected it to come from his best friend. 

It didn’t make any sense. Magnus wanted him? But… but Magnus was… well, Magnus! He was popular, kind and smart. He could have anyone and for some twisted reason he wanted Alec?

“Please say something,” Magnus begged, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

“I don’t know what,” Alec confessed.

“Just tell me if you feel the same way about me as I feel about you.” 

The way Magnus said it, it seemed so simple but it wasn’t. Everything was upside down.

“I don’t know.” Alec shrugged helplessly. “I never thought about us this way, you know? I mean, we’re friends, right?”

The way the light in Magnus’s eyes died made Alec regret his words immediately. 

“I understand, Alexander. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. You can’t change the way you feel. I’m sorry I put you into such an awkward position.” He smiled without it reaching his eyes. “I think I’ll go now.”

Alec wished he knew what to say. He wanted to call Magnus back, make it better, fix it all somehow but he didn’t know how. He barely knew what just happened. And so he watched Magnus walk out the door without doing anything.

 

-

 

The following day, Alec didn’t go to his classes. Instead, he locked himself into his room and didn’t leave all day. He ignored all calls and text messages from his siblings and resided to sulking. 

Magnus was hurting, Magnus was sad and it was Alec’s fault. And the most confusing thing: Magnus liked him. For some reason, the knowledge that his best friend liked him romantically gave him a weird feeling in his stomach. Even though Izzy constantly teased Alec about how there might be more between him and Magnus Alec never considered the possibility that she could be right.

At first he thought he might be upset because Magnus confession could irreversibly change their friendship forever but then that thought seemed ridiculous. Magnus was his best friend and nothing in the world could make him treat him any differently. Of course, Magnus could decide that he didn’t want a friendship any longer but if he really only wanted to be with Alec romantically then he probably would have asked him out directly and not satisfied himself with just being friends for almost three years. Although the thought that Magnus might decide that he could no longer be friends with Alec now that he’d confessed his true feelings frightened Alec, he did know his best friend enough to doubt that would happen. So, that wasn’t it.

Then he thought he might be upset because if Magnus actually liked him romantically then that must mean that he had so for a longer time or maybe even since the beginning. Alec wondered how that must have been like, hiding it all the time and never telling anyone. But then that thought seemed ridiculous too. Magnus was bold and out-spoken. There was no way he would hide something like that for so many years. And when he remembered correctly Magnus even told him that he’d only realized what he’d been feeling a short time ago. So, that wasn’t it either.

Maybe it was just the thought of _Magnus_ liking _Alec_ out of all people. Alec didn’t get it. He had nothing to offer except for a high school graduation and a gold medal as junior archery champion. And then there was Magnus who was smart, kind, funny and… well… handsome too, Alec supposed. He never really thought about it much but now that he did he realized that Magnus was rather good-looking. He was well-built, tall, with broad shoulders. And he had style as well. He knew how to dress and what made him look good. And the shirts that were only ever buttoned half-way showed a nice chest and loads of smooth skin. Magnus had great skin. Also, great hair. Alec didn’t know how he did it but it always looked soft, even when it was spiked up. And then he had beautiful eyes as well, intelligent and kind and a beautiful shade of brown. And his lips were plush and pink, the bottom lip only slightly bigger than the upper one. And when he smiled… and suddenly it hit Alec.

He had a major crush on Magnus Bane.

After this groundbreaking revelation there was only one thing left to do for Alec: He had to confess his feelings to Magnus.

So, the next day he got up early and bought a bouquet of flowers on the way to Magnus’s flat which he shared with Raphael. Despite already knowing that Magnus liked him back he was nervous. He’d never confessed something like this to anyone and it seemed like a rather big step. 

He was let in at the house door by a woman who was just leaving for work which was all the more convenient for Alec. He almost felt giddy at the prospect of knocking on the door and a slightly disheveled Magnus opening it only to see Alec stand in front of him with flowers in his hands and not only an apology for the night before yesterday but also a love confession. Well, maybe not a love confession yet but something like that at least. A crush confession.

When he stood at the door to Magnus’s flat he licked his lips, ran a hand through his hair one more time and took a deep breath. But before he could summon the courage to knock, the door flew open before him. But instead of presenting Magnus or Raphael there was another man in front of him.

They both fixated one another for a couple of awkward seconds but then the stranger broke the silence first.

“Are you here to see Raul?”

Alec frowned. “Who?”

“Raul? Or was it Renée? Something with beginning with an ‘r’.” 

“Raphael?” suggested Alec.

The strangers face lit up. “That was it! So, you’re here to see Raphael then?”

Alec didn’t stop frowning. “No, I’m here to see Magnus.”

The stranger’s eyes wandered to the bouquet of flowers in his hands. 

“Oh. Oh shit, man, I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I didn’t know he already had a man. He really let me think he was single or else I would never have…” He stopped himself mid-sentence but it was enough to make Alec realize who this stranger was and why he was sneaking out of Magnus’s flat early in the morning.

“I’m really sorry,” the stranger repeated before scurrying past Alec and to the elevator. 

Alec simply stood there, dumb-struck. He didn’t understand. Just two days ago Magnus had gone to Alec’s flat to tell him that he wanted to be with him, that he liked him and the day after he left to sleep with someone else who… well, who wasn’t Alec? It didn’t make any sense.

And then a memory stirred up in Alec’s mind. It was buried deep down, somewhere in the back of his head but it played behind his eyes with the crisp clarity of a movie. It was the evening Magnus had introduced Camille to his friends as his new girlfriend. That had been two years ago but he still remembered what Ragnor had told him that evening.

_But it always runs the same circle. She uses him and then disposes of him when she’s tired. He’s heartbroken, finds a rebound and eventually gets back on track until she decides that she wants him back and that is when it all starts again._

Everything Ragnor had said that night had come true so far. Camille had used Magnus and then disposed of him again. Magnus had been heartbroken and then... he’d looked for a rebound: Alec. And when Alec hadn’t done he’d searched for another one.

Rebound. 

What an ugly word. What a dream-crushing, cheap, ugly word.

Rebound, rebound, rebound.

Alec felt like throwing up. He didn’t blame Magnus for what he’d done. He had no obligation to Alec and he was still grieving because of his last relationship. After all, it hadn’t even been a week since it ended. No, Alec blamed _himself_ because he’d known better and had still fallen for it. Because he’d been so stupid not to realize what he was feeling sooner. Not the day before yesterday but even before Camille had returned. Because his sister had been telling him what he’d been feeling even before Alec knew it. Everyone had known before him. And now Alec had to pay for it.

On his way out of the building he took the stairs so that he wouldn’t meet the stranger again, all the while clutching the flowers to tight it made his knuckles stand out white. Only when he was out of the building he dumped the bouquet into the nearest trash can.

 

-

 

The year that followed Magnus dated a lot of people but no one stayed longer than two months. Alec tried to stay away from his best friend’s love life as far as possible. They never talked about the dates they had with other people (which weren’t many, in Alec’s case) and the night where Magnus had told Alec he liked him was never talked about again. Alec kept his feelings to himself.

Eventually, Magnus stopped with the constant dating and although Alec felt silly he couldn’t help but grow hopeful because ever since his Big Realization his crush had nothing but grown. It had evolved and changed, his feelings growing stronger with each passing day until Alec could do nothing more than admit to himself that he had fallen in love with his best friend. 

There were times when he thought Magnus might feel the same but those moments were often over as quickly as they had come. They happened mostly when both of them had had something to drink because Magnus got even more flirtatious than usual and Alec lost his filter and with it also the ability to hide his feelings.

He didn’t remember much about the night where the actual mess started but he did remember that he had been out with Magnus and a few of their friends. He didn’t know why that night had been different but for some reason it had been. At first Magnus and Alec hadn’t drunken much, only enough to feel a light buzz but they both had always been affectionate drunks and soon Alec had an arm around Magnus’s shoulder. And then Magnus started to put a hand on Alec’s biceps every time he laughed out loud. Another drink later Alec laid his hand onto the bench of their booth, right next to Magnus so that his fingers brushed his thigh.

After their friends had sent them home there had been an unspoken agreement between them to keep the evening going. With every drink Alec let his guard down further, grew bolder and was encouraged by Magnus mirroring his behavior. But then the lines of the memory grew fuzzy and soon ran into nothingness only to pick up at the moment where he had woken up in Magnus’s bed, butt naked.

He was just as shocked as Magnus when he found out they’d announced their engagement and was secretly freaking out that his friend might be weirded out by the mere thought of them even dating. But then Izzy talked about how happy she was for the two of them and thinking how he didn’t want to tell her that it wasn’t real sparked the idea. It was a stupid, insane idea and destined to go wrong but maybe just insane enough to work. He only had a few seconds, so not enough time to weigh the pros and cons and so he simply took the risk and proposed his plan. And by some miracle, Magnus said yes.

He thought if they pretended to be engaged then maybe Magnus would come to consider what it would be like to date Alec. And although it would be pretense, Alec would at least experience what it might be like to be with Magnus. It was an idiotic thought but he did remember Magnus quoting once ‘all is fair in love and war’ and it did work in almost every rom com movie that ever existed. What he hadn’t been prepared for was how hard it would be for him. But already when they all sat down at the table and Magnus started talking about the two of them as though it was all real Alec felt a surge of love for him. He realized that it would be a lot more difficult to separate pretense from reality than he’d expected.

It wasn’t made better by everyone believing them. There was no one doubting their story despite them not even having dated before. Left and right people started to congratulate them, his friends, his colleagues, even that one girl from the cafeteria that he’d only spoken to once but knew that Magnus had befriended her on one of the annual Christmas parties. 

At first it was almost uncomfortable. Alec hated lying and suddenly he was lying to everyone. But then, more and more, Alec grew more accustomed to it and soon he was even enjoying the congratulations he was getting. It became less of a lie and more of a secret between Magnus and him. And in front of everyone else he could pretend his dreams had come true and he was about to marry the man he loved.

He used to be so strong in denial that he sometimes almost forgot about his own feelings and it felt good to have them out in the open for a change. But it also meant that he was becoming a lot more sensitive towards Magnus’s flirting and suddenly every teasing remark had him blushing. It was torture.

Especially, after Magnus told him that he’d be okay with a kiss if the situation demanded it. He’d said it like it was nothing, just another offhand comment, and his indifference stung a little because it wasn’t ‘nothing’ to Alec. But after that the possibility of him kissing Magnus was almost all he thought about. 

So much so that when the day of their engagement party arrived he was buzzing with nervous energy. What if they would get into a situation where they’d have to kiss? And what qualified as a situation where kissing became necessary? All these questions spun around in circles in his mind that he finally couldn’t bear it any longer and decided to walk to Magnus’s apartment despite the freezing temperatures outside. He needed some fresh air to clear his head. 

And whilst he was thinking about all the possible outcomes of that evening, one question became more relevant than all the others: Did he _want_ to kiss Magnus?

Of course the answer to that question was yes, he’d wanted to kiss Magnus for a long time now, but he didn’t know he wanted it to happen like this. Maybe kissing Magnus even though he knew it was just for the sake of pretending was worse than never knowing what kissing him would be like. He eventually decided that it might be best if he tried to avoid any physical contact or affectionate gestures, just to remind himself to not let things go to his head. Or at least not initiate it, since it might look weird to their friends if he flinched back from touching his fiancé.

It turned out to be more difficult than expected. Magnus always seemed to grab his hand or lean into him and halfway through the evening Alec had already dismissed his plan. And so he suffered through all the stories his siblings told, thinking the engagement was real, up to the one where Alec had waited for hours in the hospital to see if Magnus was alright (in hindsight he should have realized sooner that he was crushing on him). And when Magnus looked up to him without judgement or even amusement in his eyes, simply telling him that he didn’t think it was embarrassing at all, he knew there was no distancing himself from his feelings. He was in deep and if he was honest with himself he didn’t want a way out. 

 

-

 

There was one thing, however, that he’d underestimated, and that was his sister’s enthusiasm. He knew that she was a passionate person who was easily excited by a lot of things but her excitement for Alec’s love life seemed to have no limits. At first he thought it was useful, after all she was his excuse to keep the whole fake relationship going but for some reason it quickly started to annoy him. And the more he started to treat Magnus’s and his relationship like it was real, the more it annoyed him. He wanted to have his own say in it, not have his sister pry into his private life. If he did manage to make Magnus like him more than just platonically then not because of his sister’s constant teasing but because of something Alec did. 

As much as Izzy kept the whole scheme going, she was also a constant reminder that it was all faked. 

With every new comment she made, Alec grew more irritated and a few times he almost called her out on it. One of them was, when she noticed that neither of them was wearing an engagement ring. At first it bothered him that she’d tried to tell them how they were supposed to run their (not real) engagement but the weeks after she said it Alec’s mind kept coming back to her comment.

True, they didn’t technically need an engagement ring. Magnus had already found the perfect excuse to persuade Izzy, no one else cared and it was probably ridiculous to get a ring for an engagement that was nothing more than a façade and would be broken off in a few months at the latest. Also, rings were expensive and although Alec had no financial problems he also couldn’t afford to pay a huge sum for a ring that would only be worn for such a short time.

But then he remembered the ring his mother had given to him. It had been a gift to him to give to the person he’d like to marry one day and although she had thought about a woman at the time she hadn’t asked for it back after he’d come out as gay.

Magnus might not be the person he would marry one day but he was the person that he’d like to marry one day and this might be the only opportunity for Alec to see him wear it. His only worry was that Magnus might realize that something was up if he saw Alec overdoing things like this. So he brought the ring to a jeweler to have it be fitted to Magnus’s size whilst thinking of excuses he might name for presenting a ring like that. Maybe he could say he’d had it lying around and thought it might be a nice to have a prop to their act? Or he could say it had belonged to his grandfather and his mother had asked him if he wanted it because else she would sell it. Or that he’d found it at a yard sale that he’d happened to stumble across, that the silver was actually brass and the diamonds strass. He decided that it was best to not say anything unless Magnus actually asked him.

The day when he gave it to him he could not have been more nervous if he’d been actually proposing. When he went down on one knee he thought about what it would be like if he just confessed right there, on the spot. If he just said those magic words ‘Magnus, I love you’. What would happen?

He wanted to do it. He wanted to scream it out into the world or whisper them into Magnus’s ear. They were about to flee from his lips when he saw the way Magnus looked at him but then he choked on his fear of what might happen if his friend didn’t feel the same way. Everything would be gone. No, he had to be patient. He had to keep this going just a little longer.

What he said instead was: “Even if it is only for now.”

What he meant was: “I’ll wait for now. One day I’ll tell you.”

 

-

 

A few days after he gave the ring to Magnus he received a text from Jace:

_i’m at mom and dads. mentioned mags and u r putting a ring on it. thought u told them already. sorry bro_

A part of him wanted to kill Jace because there was no way that his parents wouldn’t want to meet his future husband.

And sure enough, his mother called him the same evening to tell him that she would like to see Magnus and him for dinner. He made some excuses that Magnus was very busy at the moment but that they’d make time as soon as possible and hung up. This whole lie was spiraling way out of proportion way too fast.

He decided to not tell Magnus about the possible meeting with Alec’s parents right away and also to hold back a little from now on. He knew there was no distancing himself from his feelings but he needed to remind himself that their relationship wasn’t real. For Magnus the act might start whenever someone else was with them but for Alec it started as soon as they were alone. He had to be careful not to get carried away.

He tried to stay true to his decision the night they went to play pool with their friends but for fuck’s sake Magnus wasn’t making it easy. He was constantly around him, wearing shirts made out of lace, bending over the pool table when he was standing right in front of him to give him the perfect view on his ass and practically purring into his ear. If Alec didn’t know any better then he’d think Magnus was doing it on purpose.

He tried focusing on the game but it wasn’t helping much and so he tried focusing on his friends instead but that wasn’t helping either. He did notice, however, that Izzy was paying Simon a lot more attention than usual and silently wondered if he’d been so wrapped up in his own love life that he’d stopped asking his siblings what was going on in theirs.

He felt bad for neglecting his sister like that but only until they all decided to call it a night and go home. 

“No, you two haven’t seen each other enough since your engagement. You should take up on the opportunity, now that you two have the same day off,” Izzy insisted after Alec had announced that he’d take Simon and Clary to their flat since they were both too drunk to be trusted on their own. 

And there it was again. Alec might not inquire enough about his siblings’ love life but Izzy sure mingled a little too much in his. He was almost about to call her off right there when Magnus jumped in for the rescue, like he always did, and persuaded her with a quick comment. 

The next day Alec went to meet Izzy during her lunch break to talk to her about his issue. If he really did want to change how things were with Magnus and him then he’d have to make sure there were no reminders of their dating being a façade and that meant that the flirting and insinuations had to come from Alec and not his little sister. 

Izzy was happy to see him and greeted him with a big smile and a hug.

“Hey, Alec! It’s good to see you. It’s been ages since you’ve dropped by to visit me at work!”

“Well, technically I’m not dropping by to visit you at work but at your lunch break. Tacos?”

“Yes please! I’m dying,” she laughed, threw her lab coat onto her chair and grabbed her purse before following him outside.

They always went to the same Mexican place when they had lunch together because it was right in the middle between the morgue and the police precinct and the food was delicious and not too expensive. 

At first Alec dodged around the topic, not sure how to approach it but then Izzy gave him the perfect opening by asking about Magnus.

“He’s fine,” Alec answered. “Yeah, he’s doing well. Listen, Iz, I was meaning to talk to you about something…”

His sister looked up to him with her big brown eyes and suddenly Alec was hit with the urge to tell her the truth. Not about how much her prying irritated him but about his ‘engagement’ with Magnus. He knew she wouldn’t tell anyone else if he asked her not to. He knew she would understand. And if she was involved then their act would no longer depend on an unknown variable, which was Izzy’s love life or rather lack thereof. 

Also, they had never said they couldn’t entrust anyone with their secret. It had always been implied but never directly stated as a rule. It would make everything so much easier.

But no, this was between Magnus and him. He knew Magnus was guarding their secret and lying to all his friends, the people he considered family, and all of that just for Alec. Because Alec had had a stupid plan and Magnus had agreed to go along with it because that was what best friends did for each other. Alec wouldn’t be the one to break that trust.

The time it took for this conflict to play out in his head he’d already lost what he’d actually been meaning to say and instead resolved to a monotone “Uhhh…”

“Yes?” Izzy tried to encourage him. “Has it something to do with Magnus?”

It worked and he found his way back to his original sentence. “Yes. I mean, no. In a way. Actually, it has more something to do with you. Is everything okay?”

Izzy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“No reason, just… I wanted to… I’m not really sure how to say this but ever since Magnus and I got… engaged… you’ve been very invested in my love life. More than usual, even. And I know that you’ve been having a hard time ever since Meliorn and you broke up,” he saw her expression darken a little, hurt flickering in her eyes, and moved on quickly, “and so I’m all the more grateful that you’re so happy for me but… sometimes you’re taking it a little too far.”

Izzy sat there stunned, a small crease forming between her eyebrows. “How do you mean?”

“Look, you’ll always be welcome to hang out with us. We both love you. But ever since the engagement, every time you spend time with us you spend half that time planning our wedding for us and the other half hitting on Magnus. For me. I get that you’re glad we’re together but it’s starting to feel like we’re rom com characters whose romance you’re rooting for. I’m only saying that I’d appreciate it if you could keep your excitement a little more… quiet.”

“Oh.” His sister looked taken aback. “I didn’t even notice I was doing that. I guess I’ve been waiting so long for this to happen that I am more enthusiastic than usual. But if it makes you feel any better I’ll try to keep it down a little more.” She tried an apologetic smile.

“Thank you,” Alec said, smiling back.

It did get better. Alec knew Izzy was trying to contain her excitement as best as she could and he was grateful for her efforts. But right after he’d solved this issue, he was reminded that he still had another one waiting for him when his mother sent him a text, asking if they were free next Friday for dinner at the Lightwood mansion.

Alec knew he couldn’t put it off any longer and so he sent Magnus a quick text, telling him that his parents wanted to meet him. It took a while for Magnus to reply but at the end of the day he agreed.

 

-

 

Alec arrived ten minutes early at Magnus’s apartment to pick him up. Instead of going up or sending him a text that he was already inside Alec got out of his car and waited in the freezing winter air. He inhaled deeply and watched his breath exit his mouth in white puffs as he exhaled again. The cold helped to cool his nerves. He wanted to tell himself that there was nothing to be nervous about but he knew his parents too well to know that that wasn’t true.

Finally he couldn’t wait any longer unless he wanted to arrive late and he knew from experience that he did not want that. He texted Magnus, who was outside in less than a minute with a bottle of wine in his hand. Just seeing him made Alec feel better but seeing that he was even more nervous than Alec was all the soothing he could have asked for.

Of course the dinner went awful. Of course his parents behaved in the worst possible way. Already, when Maryse accepted the bottle of wine parents brought with a face like Magnus had just offered her a glass of vinegar almost had Alec’s blood boiling. It didn’t matter that his parents tried to put on a show through cold politeness and idle small talk, their eyes said it all. 

It was even worse to see that Magnus saw it, all the belittlements and the patronizing and he bore it all with a smile and all the patience in the world, instead making an effort to connect with Max. Alec was grateful, knowing that Magnus was trying to avoid a scene for him but there was a part of him that just wanted to start a fight right there at the dinner table. 

He drew the line when his mother tried to make Magnus feel bad for not chasing after the manipulative, abandoning dickhead that his father was. 

“Mother, I think that’s Magnus’s choice and his choice alone. He has valid reasons not to look for his father and it’s not your job to meddle in his private life,” he spat, trying to control his anger.

Like usual, his father stepped right in. “Don’t talk to your mother like that.”

He was almost glad for an excuse to get even madder. “I won’t if she stops talking to Magnus like that!” he countered, raising his voice a little.

But before things could escalate, his mother cut in with a sharp “enough”, demanding silence at the table and Alec was left to bottle the rest of his anger up.

And he bottled up quite a bit of it up until Izzy noticed the ring. For a second he felt an irrational sense of pride as his siblings congratulated him on the ring he’d put on Magnus’s finger. It didn’t matter that Magnus wasn’t his fiancé or that he didn’t even actually pick out the ring, which was a family heirloom, he still puffed out his chest a little when he heard the compliment. 

The illusion didn’t last long because, of course, his parents had to ruin it again. In his mind, Alec already took the bottle labeled ‘ANGER’ from his emotional shelf, ready to unscrew it or smash it open against the nearest wall, when his mother asked if she could talk to him in private.

To him it didn’t matter whether he started a fight in private or in front of the others so he let Izzy speak for him when she said that they could argue whatever they had to say in front of everyone. In hindsight, that hadn’t been the smartest choice.

He knew his mother and he saw the same anger behind her eyes that was boiling in his veins as well, controlled but not less fierce.

“How dare you?” She kept her voice low, a threatening edge to her tone that could have cut through glass.

Alec tried to brace himself for what was about to come. He was guessing that this was about his sexuality again, like countless of fights and discussion already had been and for a second it seemed he was right but then his mother took an unexpected turn. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. This has nothing to do with your… sexual preferences,” she denied his accusations. That was the moment he smashed his anger bottle with full force, because if it wasn’t about him being gay then it was about Magnus. And if there was one thing Alec would defend to his grave then it was this man.

“What then?” he challenged, waiting for her to list reasons that he could bash into the ground. 

But instead of going after Magnus, Maryse went after the one thing that Alec couldn’t defend. And that was their future as a couple.

“You’re not going to marry _him_ , Alec. Don’t be ridiculous. From what I’ve heard you weren’t even in a romantic relationship with him before and suddenly you’re engaged? This is nothing more than a phase. You two have nothing in common. You come from completely different worlds. This isn’t going to work.”

Alec tried to reach for the anger that had filled him not even a few seconds ago but it had all vanished into thin air and now he was left with nothing but the numb feeling of hopelessness. It was hard to argue against your own fears, especially if they were coming from another person. 

He didn’t know what to say. She was right. Alec was trying to uphold an illusion that would eventually crumble and fall and there was nothing he could do about it. He was playing an idle game that would soon find its end. Because Magnus and he were from different worlds, were two completely different people and Magnus was so far out of his league that Alec would eventually have to stop dreaming and return to reality. And reality was that Magnus and Alec weren’t engaged, weren’t even dating and were most definitely not in love. It wouldn’t work.

He could feel the silence stretch out between the four walls of the room but there was nothing he could do to break it. He was glad when his siblings finally spoke up but he could still feel Magnus’s gaze on him. He didn’t want to meet his eyes. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what he’d see in them. And so he didn’t look up either when he heard Magnus call his name and just got up in silence, gaze firmly locked onto the floor, and walked out of the door with him.

He only dared to look at him again after he parked in front of Magnus’s place. He could feel that Magnus was mad and he couldn’t blame him. This was all Alec’s fault. He’d known what would happen, had known his parents would behave impossible and he’d still dragged his friend into this.

“Magnus, I’m sorry. I- I shouldn’t have brought you,” he stammered an apology.

“Oh, so that’s what you’re sorry about?” Magnus voice was tense.

“No, it’s not- God.” He huffed, annoyed at himself. Why was he so bad with words? Why couldn’t he just say what he meant?

He tried again. “I’m sorry for what they said. You deserve better.”

But that wasn’t what Magnus wanted to hear either. “I don’t care about what they said. I care about what you did. Or rather what you didn’t do. What happened? You simply sat there without saying a word to defend yourself.”

Suddenly Alec felt very stupid. He’d just assumed Magnus was angry at him for the same reasons that he was. For putting his friend in a situation like that where he he’d been treated poorly. But it seemed that Magnus was angry at him for letting himself be treated poorly. 

But what could Alec say to apologize? How could he explain why he hadn’t said anything? There was no reason why he shouldn’t have stood up for himself except for the one that he couldn’t say out loud. Because he couldn’t defend his feelings, he had no confidence in them. If it had been a lie then he could’ve stayed up for himself. If he knew Magnus loved him back he could’ve stood up for himself. But he was alone with his fears and all he had to guard them was that they remained a secret. What was he supposed to do when someone just threw them out into the open and then stomped on them until they were lying on the ground for everyone to see?

“They’re my parents…“ Alec tried to deflect but Magnus was having none of it.

“It’s your life, Alec! Only you get to decide what you do with it and when you do you should have the guts to show pride in the decisions you’ve made.”

Alec didn’t know what else to say but he didn’t have to because Magnus already exited the car and slammed the door shut behind him. 

 

-

 

That night Alec didn’t sleep well. Or rather, he didn’t sleep much at all. He tossed and turned in his bed and tried to think of a way to make it up to Magnus. He hated fighting with him but they usually could always resolve it… by being honest with each other. But being honest wasn’t really an option for Alec at the moment so he had to think of something else. He knew he had to apologize for his behavior. He was ashamed that he hadn’t had the courage to speak up against his mother. Magnus was right. It was his life. He had made the decision to fake an engagement, to chase after Magnus and now he had to stand up for it.

That didn’t just mean that he had to apologize to Magnus but also that he had to talk to his mother. And it also meant that he had to put more effort into working for what he wanted, which was for Magnus to be in love with him too. So Alec decided that he had to woo Magnus if he wanted the other man to fall for him as well.

After he made his decision he realized he wouldn’t fall asleep anymore and so he got up despite it being five in the morning. He knew he had to apologize first and he already knew how so the first thing he did was to walk down to the nearest Seven Eleven to buy as many _Skittles_ packages as he could. It took him ages to sort out all the red ones but he still went through every single package. As soon as he had them all together he drove to Magnus’s apartment. Before he rang the bell, however, he hesitated.

He didn’t know if he was welcome after their fight and he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries and screw up again, so he texted Magnus and waited in his car for an answer. It took over an hour and Alec was already worried he might come late to work but seeing as it was still early in the morning and Magnus had the day off it wasn’t surprising. In hindsight, Alec hadn’t thought this through entirely.

Luckily, he did get an answer before he had to leave for work and so he practically raced up the stairs to Magnus’s apartment. As soon as he stood there it took him a lot more courage to say what he had to say, the apology meaning more than Magnus knew. It was also a promise. A promise that he would try harder, be there. Alec had started the whole mess with the fake engagement but now he would make use of the time they had in this mess. 

 

-

 

After he finished his shift at work he headed over to the Lightwood mansion right away, ringing the doorbell continuously until the confused butler opened. Alec didn’t wait to be asked in and just stormed inside, starting to search for his mother. He began at her office where she, sure enough, sat at her desk, looking up when her son barged in.

“Alexander? What are you doing here?” she asked, startled by his appearance.

“Magnus is not a phase.” Alec didn’t shout or spat the words into her face but instead stated them with all the confidence he could muster.

Maryse raised one eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Magnus is not a phase. I don’t care what you think. You’re right, we come from two different worlds but you know what? That’s what I like so much about him. That he’s _different_. I love him. I’ve been in love with him for years now and he has done nothing but enrich my life ever since we met. He is the only person I would ever consider marrying. And I don’t need to date him first to know that. We’ve been best friend for more than five years now. I know him and he knows me better than anyone else. And there’s nothing you can do or say that will ever change that.”

His mother just kept on staring at him, too stunned to give an answer. Alec didn’t wait until she regained her posture. 

“I just wanted you to know that,” he added. “I’ll see myself out.”

And then he left, as suddenly as he had arrived.

It was only after he’d made his grand speech in front of his mother that he found out that Jace had cut bonds with their parents in the messiest way possible. His brother didn’t go into any details but Alec could gather from his story that it had involved a lot of shouting and insults flying around. Eventually though, Jace had decided to move out and Alec being the big brother offered that he could move in with him until he and Clary found a place of their own. Only, Jace misunderstood him and thought Alec would live with Magnus for that time, since Alec’s apartment wasn’t too big either.

“I’m guessing you spend ninety-nine percent of your time at Magnus’s anyway,” he’d said and grinned.

At first Alec wanted to clear up the misunderstanding but then he hesitated. Maybe it would play right into his plan? He decided to discuss the matter with Magnus first before rushing head first into anything. He could agree for now and still come up with an excuse for Jace if Magnus disagreed, although he had no idea what he would tell his brother then. He shouldn’t have had to worry though because his friend welcomed him with open arms, which was more of a relief than Alec wanted to admit. Now he didn’t have to come up with an excuse to his brother and had the benefit of living with Magnus for a while.

Alec might have decided to woo Magnus but he didn’t actually have a plan on how to do so. He tried to come up with different plans but eventually gave up since he couldn’t come up with anything decent. He would figure things out along the way.

The night they went to meet their friends at the Hunter’s Moon, Alec got his first shot. He felt nervous and instantly regretted that he’d given up on making a plan. He was so bad at improvising. He was still deciding on whether or not it would be weird to help Magnus out of his jacket when Magnus had already shrugged out of it himself, oblivious to Alec’s struggle.

They were sitting on chairs instead of the bench, so there was a little more space between them. Alec considered putting one arm on the back of Magnus’s chair. Was that too obvious? What if Magnus didn’t like it? His internal struggle kept on even after Jace arrived and he was only pulled out of his thoughts when Simon started joking.

“Maybe that’s finally going to trigger your honey moon phase too,” he laughed.

Alec immediately grew wary. Had they noticed that Magnus and he hadn’t kissed once in front of them? Were they about to discover that they’d been lied to the whole time?

“What do you mean?”

“We’re kind of still waiting for you to hang onto each other’s lips. I mean, even back when you were ‘still friends’ you were a little more on the physical side, which is odd because Alec doesn’t like touching anyone,” Clary explained which put Alec instantly into defensive mode.

“That’s not true,” he insisted. He was already starting to panic. What if he tried to make a move on Magnus now and Magnus would realize how weird it was? What if he’d actually put his arm around the back of Magnus’s chair? That was way too obvious! 

He stuttered something unintelligible, trying to save his face but failing. 

“Don’t worry. There’s no need to be embarrassed now,” his sister tried to calm him.

But of course there was all the need to be embarrassed still. Alec could feel panic rising in him and he tried to find a way to change the topic but before he could think of anything to say his brother jumped in, because Jace never missed out on an opportunity like this.

“Wait, does that mean we can tell all the embarrassing stories where Alec-“

Alec didn’t have time to think. In one swift motion knocked over his beer, hoping the others would think he’d been trying to reach for it instead whilst he created a distraction that made Jace stop talking.

He hadn’t meant to hit Magnus. With horror he watched the liquid that had poured all over his friend, dripping down from his clothes and into his lap.

When Magnus left to go clean himself up, Alec was left with his friends all staring at him. It was Jace who spoke again.

“Dude, what just happened? It looked like you kicked over your beer on purpose.”

Alec didn’t know how to answer so instead he excused himself from the table and said he’d look after Magnus. He felt so stupid. He didn’t even know why he’d been panicking so badly. Wasn’t Magnus noticing his efforts exactly what he wanted? But he’d just been so scared. Suddenly it had felt like everyone had _known_. 

When he followed Magnus into the bathroom he saw the other man dabbing at his chest with some paper towels. Guilt nestled in Alec’s stomach as heavy as a rock.

“Hey, I wanted to see if you need any help. I’m really sorry about what happened.”

“It’s okay. It was an accident, nothing more. You’re forgiven.” Magnus smiled at him but it did nothing to ease Alec’s guilt. Instead he was left standing to the side, helplessly trying to think of something he could do to help.

But then Magnus realized his attempt to dry his clothing with paper towels was only semi-successful. And so he took off his shirt.

Alec’s eyes went wide when he saw his friend stand in front of him with his torso completely bare. For once, Magnus had been wearing a high-buttoned shirt and skipped his usual necklaces, which gave Alec full, undisclosed view on the man’s upper body. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d seen Magnus shirtless, of course. Only last week his friend had changed shirts right in front of him. Often, Alec had been tempted to reach out just to know what it would feel like to run a hand over the smooth skin of Magnus’s chest but he never had.

And maybe that was the problem.

Taking a deep breath he summoned every last bit of confidence he had and said: “Here, let me help.”

Grabbing a bunch of paper towels he held them under the tab for a second and started cleaning Magnus’s chest. The man flinched under his touch but Alec tried not to let it discourage him since he didn’t move away. After a few seconds Magnus relaxed and Alec started to fall into an almost meditative rhythm. For once he could take all the time in the world to admire the body in front of him. Both men shared the intimacy of the moment in silence. Magnus didn’t move back despite being so close that Alec wouldn’t even need to step any closer to kiss him. He simply would’ve needed to bow down a little.

Alec’s breath shuddered at the thought and he stepped back for a second to switch out the paper towels. If he wanted to make this work then he couldn’t keep pulling back. He’d have to stop being a fucking coward and just do something already.

With the new towel in hand, he proceeded his work but then he slowly let himself drift off into caressing the body in front of him rather than only cleaning it. More and more he strained off the place where the beer had hit Magnus’s torso and moved further up, running the towel over his collarbones and along his throat until he finally reached his chin.

He wanted to move his thumb up so that he could run it over the lower part of Magnus’s goatee but before he could do so Magnus quickly dart out his tongue to wet his lips and Alec froze, his eyes caught by the movement.

Magnus’s pupils were blown wide, his lips slightly parted. Lust was written all over his face.

Alec’s breath hitched, his pulse rapidly picking up. He only had to lean down a little. Just one kiss.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Alec jumped at the sound and turned around only to see his brother stand in the doorway, grinning like the idiot he was. Alec felt the urge to strangle him. 

When Magnus announced that he’d be heading back to his apartment Alec quickly offered to drive him. Whatever had just happened between them, Alec was not ready to let it go yet.

As they made their way out of the bar Alec could feel the tension between them building up and before he even turned the key to ignite the engine Alec cast another glance towards Magnus who immediately locked eyes with him. Alec had never been so certain that whatever he was feeling, the other man felt too. 

Desire was written all over his face and when Magnus wet his lips again Alec felt like he was drawn to the movement like a magnetic source. He moved forward and saw his friend moving with him but before their mouths could meet there was a loud knock on the window that startled them both.

Jace was standing on Magnus’s side of the car, grinning yet again. Alec would definitely kill his brother. Soon.

They drove to Magnus’s apartment and as soon as the car was parked it didn’t even matter anymore that his brother had interrupted them. Alec’s courage hadn’t left him yet and Magnus’s reaction did nothing but encourage him further. He leaned forward, slowly, waiting for the other man to meet him in the middle and although Magnus did lean forward a bit there was something in his voice that made Alec hesitate when he heard his name.

“Whatever happens now… I want you to know…” Alec saw Magnus’s gaze flicker back down to his lips and so he moved further another inch. Something in Alec started purring when he saw how affected his friend was by their closeness. 

“I want to make sure that we’re on the same page with this, so…” 

All insecurity left him when he saw Magnus, who was usually so eloquent and witty, lost for words and stumbling through sentences. A lazy smile crept upon his lips.

“Yeah?” he teased, wondering whether he should let Magnus finish his sentence or just bow down and kiss him. He hadn’t fully decided yet when the decision was being done for him.

“… so that we can keep being friends.” 

Those words were like a punch in the gut. Although, that might have hurt a little less.

Immediately, Alec drew back, turning his head so that he was looking out of the front window instead of looking at his friends. His friend. _Friends_.

Alec felt so fucking stupid. What had he been thinking? That one kiss would be enough and they would be together forever? That if Magnus wanted to kiss him that would mean that he was _surely_ in love with Alec? How oblivious and naïve, how fucking stupid he’d been!

Even though his blood had been rushing hot through his veins only seconds ago he now felt not much more than cold numbness.

“I think I should drive home now.” Alec could hear how hollow his voice sounded. He was still waiting for the full weight of the disappointment to hit him and he didn’t want Magnus to be anywhere near him when that happened. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Alec shook his head, not daring to say something in case his voice would crack. It wasn’t Magnus’s fault. He’d done everything right. It was probably for the best that he’d clarified what he wanted before anything could have happened. Alec didn’t want to imagine what it would be like if he already thought he had everything only to see it ripped from him in seconds. Not if feeling his hopes crushed like this already hurt so damn badly.

“No, you didn’t. I’m just- I’m just tired. I should go home,” he said as soon as he knew he had control over his voice again. 

He barely heard what Magnus said next, only catching a last “Goodnight Alexander” before the car door opened and shut again, leaving Alec all on his own.

 

-

 

Alec didn’t drive to his own apartment since Jace was staying there and he didn’t want to come up with an excuse for his brother. Instead, he drove around a little until he eventually found a parking spot where he could spend the night. He didn’t want to find a hotel either so he simply slept in his car. It was still way too cold but that didn’t matter much because Alec wouldn’t have been able to find any sleep either way. He wasn’t a very emotional person. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d cried. But he cried that night, tears silently running into the cushions of his car seats. 

The next day he texted Magnus to ask if he could come over. As much as he didn’t want to have this conversation, he knew that it was necessary. He couldn’t leave Magnus without an explanation and now that his friend knew how Alec felt things might have changed between them. What if Magnus decided that their friendship could need some distance so that Alec could move on from his crush and they could go back to being regular friends? Only that it wasn’t just a little crush for Alec. He was glad that all he’d tried was to kiss Magnus instead of doing a full-on love confession. That would have been embarrassing. Not that this wasn’t already embarrassing enough.

As soon as Magnus texted him back he was on his way to his friend’s apartment. Their conversation wasn’t as bad as Alec’s had feared but Alec had feared the absolute worst-case scenario so the conversation still sucked.

There was distance and awkwardness as the two men didn’t know how to address the elephant in the room that was the events of last night. Alec drew hope from the fact that Magnus still wanted him to live in his apartment until Jace and Clary found their own place. Enough so, that he took a deep breath and said what he’d been meaning to say all along:

“So, I’m guessing I owe you an apology for what happened last night. I’m sorry.”

Magnus looked at him expectantly. “Continue.”

Alec took a deep breath. He wasn’t sure how to phrase what he felt or explain what had happened last night. He wasn’t as good with words as Magnus or Izzy, he had to search for every syllable and scratch together fragment for fragment until he found a full sentence. 

“I get that what I did the other night might have been… confusing. I should have talked to you instead of just assuming. I made things awkward between us because I was being stupid.” He was too ashamed to say out loud what had actually happened. That he’d tried to seduce his best friend in an attempt to make him fall in love with him. That he’d revealed his own feelings by reacting the way he did when he’d put everything on halt as soon as Magnus had clarified that he only wanted to stay as friends but had been too much of a coward to say so outright and had instead fled from the scene. 

“But you and me, we always seem to find our way back to each other. We can still be friends, right?” he added, the hopefulness that filled his chest showing in his voice.

Instead of an answer, he received another question. 

“Why?” Magnus asked. 

Alec wasn’t sure he understood. “Why?” he echoed.

“Why? Why did you do it?” 

Alec frowned in confusion. He had no idea what Magnus was talking about. He thought everything had been clear. “Last night. Why did you do it?”

Was Alec wrong? Had Magnus not noticed that Alec had wanted more than friendship? Was he asking why Alec had refused him? That didn’t seem likely. Alec’s reaction to Magnus’s words had been more than clear, especially for someone who was as good as reading other people as Magnus. And trying to make Alec admit his feelings out loud just to hear them once seemed a little cruel.

But then he understood what Magnus was asking about. He’d been so focused on what had happened in the car that he had forgotten how confusing it must have been for Magnus to have been jumped like that in the bar. Why had Alec started this whole thing? Why now? And why the fuck had he not talked to Magnus instead of behaving like a horny teenager? Those were all valid question, none to which Alec had any answer.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t thinking things through. It was a stupid idea and eventually I got that.”

He was too embarrassed to look at his friend directly but apparently what he’d said hadn’t been a sufficient enough answer because Magnus spent the rest of the day locked up in his room.

Alec had never known Magnus to have been that mad at him. Sure, they’d had their fights but usually it didn’t take them long to make up and Magnus had never outright refused to talk to him like he did now. 

Alec wished he knew what was really going on. More and more he had the feeling he only had half the information and was stumbling through everything whilst things were being thrown at him. He knew he hadn’t handled things well the night before and none of that was Magnus’s fault but his friend ignoring him even though Alec had been the one rejected for his feelings was almost a little too cruel. He wished he could talk things out with Magnus and clear the table, know what was going on in his friend’s head but he was too afraid to even knock at his door.

The idea to make _Nasi Goreng_ came almost naturally to Alec. All he knew was that Magnus was mad at him and that he wanted to fix things. Whenever Alec was upset he liked to eat something that was connected with good memories to make him feel a bit better. 

Of course Alec had seriously overestimated his own cooking abilities and when Magnus walked out of his room to see where the burning smell was coming from Alec was a little worried that his friend might be mad at him. That is, madder than he was already. Instead, Magnus joined to help him in the kitchen and Alec dared to hope a little again that even this fight might not last forever.

He wasn’t sure, however, until the day after that, when Magnus brought him his lunch that he’d left on the kitchen counter that morning. He’d already noticed that he’d forgotten it on his way to work but it had been too late to go back and so he’d simply decided to get something at the bakery down the street during his lunch break. The walk might even do him some good. The surprise he felt when Magnus was even bigger because he had thought that his friend was still angry at him. 

Last night Alec had almost destroyed what he’d been able to make up through the _Nasi Goreng_ by wanting to sleep on the couch. He had thought Magnus might feel uncomfortable sharing a bed with someone he knew wanted more than just friendship and to be honest Alec hadn’t felt very comfortable with sharing a bed with his friend at the moment. It only reminded him of the time they’d last shared a bed, when they’d woken up naked with no memory of the night before. And that only contributed to the shame he felt when he remembered the situation he was in right now, faking a relationship with someone who didn’t want a relationship with him but knew that he did. It was all kinds of confusing. But he had been too tired to discuss it any further since he hadn’t slept at all the night prior and Magnus had been determined to turn things back to normality between them.

And that was probably also the reason why Magnus was now at the precinct, bringing him lunch. And as Luke joked about how they were making excuses to see each other, Alec realized that that was all he wanted right now. For that to be true, for Magnus only being there to see him. Not necessarily because they were living some kind of romance but because he wanted things to be good between them again. He didn’t want one stupid night to ruin their whole friendship. 

When he told Magnus so he saw hesitation on the other man’s face, just long enough for Alec’s heart to plummet to the bottom of his stomach but then Magnus smiled and nodded and said:

“We’re good again.” 

And those words felt like they were worth more than gold.

They did manage to fall back into some kind of normalcy after that. So much so even, that Alec could almost forget how much he’d embarrassed himself in front of Magnus. And even though they still had their fake engagement scheme running, they didn’t meet up as much with their friends as a couple anymore so that Alec started to worry less and less about it. They seemed to be moving on. 

Only, it couldn’t last forever. Alec should have known that but he didn’t realize it until he suddenly found himself on a date with Magnus. Despite Alec’s warnings Izzy had yet again mingled in the nonexistent love life of Alec and Magnus and suddenly Alec found himself putting on a suit for a fancy restaurant that he had no interest of going to. 

He tried to not make it into a bigger deal than it was. Just because they had called it a ‘date’ in front of their friends didn’t mean it was an actual _date_. It would just be a friendly evening between two best friends being friendly and doing friend-things. Of course, Alec was already making it into a big deal as soon as Magnus leaned forward to tie his tie. 

The evening started out innocent enough. Alec couldn’t help but find the way Magnus complained about the portions being too small adorable but other than that they were simply joking around, like they always were. It was only when they went to the Chinese restaurant afterwards, when Alec felt the warm effect of the wine in his chest and a pleasant buzz in his head that the lines of making this a meeting between friends and being on a date started to blur. And after Magnus discovered the dartboard and challenged Alec to a game, everything was lost. 

They had both always been competitive natures and when there was alcohol involved then the playful banter tended to turn into shameless flirting. With every new drink it got a little easier to lean closer and smile, to forget what had happened just a few weeks before. Every now and then doubts began to crawl up into the back of Alec’s head but one beer after another he washed them away.

When they made their way back to Magnus’s apartment, arm in arm, Alec could only think about how nice this felt, them walking together like they were a couple. He laughed and stumbled up the stairs when Magnus raced him to the top, almost slipping when he reached the last step but Magnus caught him and suddenly they were standing very close.

So close that in Alec’s haze he leaned a bit back to get a better view at his friend’s face but instead of allowing it Magnus leaned closer. Alec, startled by the sudden movement, took a step back but his foot found no hold and then he was falling.

 

-

 

Alec didn’t remember much more of that night, most of it passed by with him being nothing more than a passive audience member to the scene at hand. He had a headache that made him feel like someone very determined was trying to cut through his skull with a butter knife. 

The only thing that he could anchor his consciousness to was Magnus. Magnus voice telling him everything would be okay, Magnus sitting next to him whilst he was getting stitches and Magnus half lying on Alec’s hospital bed and half sitting on the chair next to it. The sight of his friend sleeping next to him filled him with warmth, like coming home after having spent several weeks abroad. And with a sudden need for safety he grabbed Magnus’s hand that was lying right next to him before falling asleep again.

When he woke up again Magnus was right there, standing next to his bed and smiling at him. It was all that Alec needed to feel that everything would be okay again. When his friend left to get him breakfast Alec almost regretted to have sent him away, immediately missing the company. 

As soon as his friend had left the room he heard a voice coming from the only other bed in the room that was also occupied.

“That’s a very fine man you’ve got there, my dear.”

Alec looked up. Speaking to him was an elderly lady who looked like she could barely stand if she tried but her eyes revealed that her mind was still sharp.

Alec nodded and winced right after, reminding himself once again that he shouldn’t move his head as long as he was still battling a concussion and a bad hangover. 

“Yes, ma’am, I do,” he agreed politely.

“Make sure you treat him well, right?” 

Without knowing why he suddenly felt like he was being chastised by her. Instead of questioning it he decided it was for the best if he simply kept agreeing.

“I will.” And then, a little more to himself he added: “I try.”

There was a pause that made Alec think his conversation with the elderly woman beside him had ended but then she picked it up again.

“You love him, don’t you?” She looked at him curiously, like she was surprised by that fact even though she must have gathered that Magnus and he were in some kind of romantic relationship. Or were at least pretending to be.

Alec had no reason to lie. “I do,” he told her. It felt good, saying it out loud, even if it was only to a total stranger.

A stranger that was now laughing at him. “So that’s how it is!” she called out, chuckling to herself like she just heard the funniest joke she ever heard.

“Well, I’m glad to hear I gave your friend the right advice then!” she added, still chuckling.

“You mean Magnus? You talked to him?”

“That I did!” she confirmed. “And if I hadn’t promised him I’d take his secret to my grave I’d be telling you the most wonderful story right now. But alas, I believe it’s not my place to tell, so I’ll only say this: Don’t you ever give up on the love that you feel for this man. It can be scary at time but if you want to be with him then you need to be brave. His feelings might go deeper than you can imagine.”

“What? What do you mean? What did he say to you?” Alec was full of burning questions. Did that mean Magnus felt more for him than you friendship?

But the woman didn’t answer any of his questions and instead closed her eyes and began snoring quietly.

Alec remained unimpressed. “I know you’re not actually asleep right now,” he commented.

The snoring became even louder and Alec sighed in frustration. He guessed that meant he wouldn’t be getting any more answers from her. However, he might not even need more. Her words had been rather obvious and if she’d talked to Magnus then that meant he might have told her that he felt more for Alec than he’d originally led on. 

Alec tried to recollect everything that had happened last night. Anything that might have changed Magnus’s mind but he came up emptyhanded. Yes, it had been a great night, full of flirtatious teasing and fun but they’d shared many evenings like that and it had never meant more. 

Suddenly another memory emerged from the fog, right before he’d fallen down the stairs. Magnus had leaned forward. That had been what startled Alec into taking a step back but now that he turned it over and over again in his head it almost seemed like Magnus had been about to kiss him. 

Now, they had been about to kiss once before but Alec had prevented that because it hadn’t meant the same to Magnus than it did to Alec, as the other man had made painfully clear. But why would Magnus attempt to kiss him again if he knew the other man felt more for him than just platonic love? Of course there was the general law of alcohol and mutual attraction but now that he’d heard what the woman in the hospital bed next to him had said he started to consider another possibility.

What if Magnus had tried to kiss him because he liked Alec back?

It was a big thought and one that was so absurd and far away that it seemed almost impossible. But it was the only logical conclusion to draw from what the woman had just told him. And wasn’t that roughly what had happened when Magnus had first told him that Alec was the one he wanted? Of course back then it had just been because Magnus had been recovering from a long-term relationship and had been looking for a rebound but in Alec it had sparked the realization that yes, he had a giant crush on Magnus Bane. Now that Magnus had found out that Alec liked him as more than a friend, maybe it had sparked a similar realization? It was a huge maybe but right now he was about ready to take everything he could get.

The possibility alone was enough to make him feel giddy. Magnus might like him. There might still be hope after all.

He decided not to screw this up again. He was done trying to make a move or dropping hints. He would just walk up to Magnus and talk to him like a normal person at the first opportunity that would arise. 

The first opportunity arose the next morning. Alec woke up with his headache still intact but less intense than before. He heard music playing from another room and got up to see what Magnus was up to. The sight did not disappoint.

Magnus was standing at the kitchen counter, preparing food and swinging his hips with the rhythm of the music. Alec placed himself in the doorway and watched for a few seconds, not wanting to disturb the picture. But it didn’t take long until Magnus noticed him standing there and so he decided to go and help prepare whatever his friend was making.

Whilst he chopped the vegetables he wasn’t embarrassed to admit that he paid more attention to the way Magnus moved with the music than he did to the knife in his hand. Probably not the wisest thing since he’d just gotten out of the hospital but he couldn’t help it. And with a sudden leap of courage he joined Magnus in his dancing as well, taking the other man into his arms and gently swaying back and forth. They weren’t exactly following the tact of the music but it didn’t matter because Magnus was in his arms and he was letting himself be led by Alec and held by him. 

Alec constantly turned over in his mind what the woman in the hospital had said to him. He had to be brave. Magnus’s feelings for him might run deeper than he thought. With a deep breath he gathered all the bravery he could muster and got ready to finally confess what he felt instead of assuming that his actions talked louder than words. 

But before he even got out more than a full sentence the doorbell rang, making them both jump. He should have figured it was either Jace or Izzy. The timing of his siblings was impeccable. He was still surprised though, when he saw his sister standing in front of the door. And he was even more surprised when, after fuzzing over him until her worries concerning his well-being had been soothed, she revealed that she was now dating Simon. Surprised, but happy for her. 

He had known that Izzy had developed softer feelings for Clary’s nerdy best friend but having been wrapped up in his own love drama he hadn’t asked his sister much about it and seriously underestimated the depth of her feelings.

He was still thinking about how happy he was for her when she closed the door behind her and Magnus turned to him with a big smile on his face.

“Well, I guess this is it then,” he announced.

Alec turned to him with a frown.

“Isabelle doesn’t need us anymore. Our engagement has officially ended.”

It took Alec a while to get what Magnus was talking about but he was right. Alec had started it under the excuse that they were helping Izzy by pretending to be engaged and now that Izzy was fine Alec no longer had an excuse to keep the scheme going. He didn’t know what he’d be expecting if his sister found someone new or obviously moved on. He hadn’t thought about the scenario at all, if he was being honest. But if he had he was sure he hadn’t expected Magnus to break off their fake relationship so eagerly and especially not now after he’d had just regained hope that there might be more between them than just friendship. But here they were, two seconds after Izzy had announced that she was dating Simon and it was obvious that Magnus wanted to end this whole thing. And if that was what he wanted then Alec wouldn’t stand in the way.

“Right,” he agreed, his voice sounding hollow.

And just like that it was over.

 

-

 

The next day Alec left the house early to take a walk. He needed to clear his head. Why was it that everything with Magnus was so confusing? At first he agrees to the scheme and plays the perfect fiancé, even flirting with Alec so much that he had no choice but to wonder if it might mean more but then when they were about to kiss he says he just wants to be friends. But a few weeks later and they’re on a date and Magnus goes back to flirting, tries to kiss him _again_ and a strange woman in a hospital tells Alec that Magnus has feelings for him so Alec gets ready to confess his feelings out loud for once after a perfect moment when they danced in the kitchen, Magnus lying in Alec’s arms, but not once minute later decides they should end the whole engagement scheme for good.

Alec didn’t get it. He didn’t know what to think or to do, so he just kept on walking. Spring started dawning over New York but the weather was still cool and the crisp wind helped him to clear his head. But no matter how long he walked, he couldn’t figure out what his best friend was thinking, even less so what he might be feeling. 

Eventually, he decided that there really was only one thing for him to do. He didn’t want their engagement to end so he should tell Magnus that they should keep it going for longer. Easier said than done but still simple enough. 

So he bought a package of _Skittles_ and went back to the apartment where he was greeted by a strange sight. His mother sat on the couch, drinking a glass of red wine and enjoying herself in Magnus’s company. His initial anger at her side started to fade when he realized Magnus didn’t seem to mind, even was pleased to have her there. And as if that wasn’t enough, Magnus proposed that they keep the pretense up for a little longer. 

Alec might not know what was going on at all. But whatever it was, he was happy about it.

 

-

 

The weeks that followed were the best Alec had all week. The way Magnus and he interacted started to feel more and more like they were an actual couple, even when their friends were nowhere near. Almost every day Alec told himself that this time he would tell Magnus how he felt but every time again his courage failed him. Maybe things were too perfect and Alec was afraid of ruining them, maybe he just never found the perfect opportunity or maybe he was just too scared to say it out loud after he’d kept it a secret for so long.

Things started to grow complicated though, when they were invited to Clary and Jace’s housewarming party. If Alec had known that the theme was ‘couples’ then he might have feinted a grave illness to get out of it. Magnus and he were growing closer and more like a couple but they weren’t an actual couple.

But Alec managed to push his fears aside and soon he and Magnus were even in the lead of the game. Until Clary started taking out bowls with whipped cream. The first time Alec tried to avoid sucking on Magnus’s finger and in his hastiness almost dropped the splash of cream onto the floor.

What he wasn’t prepared for was Magnus.

Magnus lingering longer than necessary, his finger brushing over Alec’s bottom lip, his thumb running over Alec’s chin. There was no way these gestures weren’t intentional and Alec had difficulties focusing on the flavor of the whipped cream. 

His blood was running hot through his veins and there was a hunger burning inside him. The next time Magnus finger reached his lips he took the tip into his mouth and sucked softly at it. At the same time he reached blindly for Magnus’s waist and pulled him closer, running small circles onto his skin through the thin fabric of his shirt.

At another occasion he might have been embarrassed by pulling off such a bold move but it helped that he was blindfolded and didn’t see how his friend was reacting. He only heard how Magnus’s breath hitched and the sound let something in him purr in satisfaction.

Even after the game ended the tension remained. Alec’s skin prickled with a thousand volt whilst they started to make preparations for the next round game. He watched as his siblings fought through the first round of the praline feeding contest but his entire focus was on Magnus who was standing right beside him. Alec only had to shift his weight and their arms would brush.

He tried to catch Magnus’s gaze but the other man avoided eye contact with him until they were standing right in front of each other and Magnus had no other choice than to look up. Alec searched his face for signs that might show that Magnus wanted this too, that he wasn’t just giving in to the attraction between them but that there was more. This time there was no alcohol involved, there were no excuses.

Magnus looked up to him with wide eyes that showed the same vulnerability that Alec felt as well. And somehow that was all the confirmation Alec needed, to know that Magnus was just as scared as he was. So when he went to feed Magnus the chocolate praline he moved the last fragment of an inch and pressed their lips together. 

And Magnus kissed back.

It was like an explosion of emotions. Blood rushed through Alec’s ears and made him deaf. His brain stopped working altogether and breathing became unimportant. He was sure that if someone bothered to take a closer look they could see the front of his shirt shuddering every time his heart slammed against his ribcage.

Alec had waited years to kiss Magnus and it had been worth every single second.

 

-

 

After the kiss Alec was almost giddy about what had happened. The rush of euphoria coursing through his body was the biggest high he’d ever felt. But he tried to restrain himself; he knew they still had a lot to talk about. In the car he tried to start the conversation but before he could even finish his sentence someone behind them honked because they were blocking traffic. He wanted to make another attempt as soon as he parked the car but Magnus immediately left the vehicle and when they were standing next to each other in the elevator his friend wouldn’t even look at him.

Alec was scared that Magnus might regret what had happened before at the housewarming party. He tried to spark what had been between them again when Magnus unlocked the door by leaning closer to him under the cover of opening it for him but the other man didn’t move towards him, simply waited for a couple of seconds to pass before he took a deep breath and turned away, announcing that he’d take a shower.

Alec made one last attempt.

“Magnus, wait!” he called him back. But when he saw his friend expectant look his courage sank again. What was he supposed to say? He didn’t have to words to explain what he felt or what had happened between them or why he’d done what he’d done.

So he just murmured “nothing”, locked his hands behind his back and watched Magnus disappear into the bathroom. Only when he was alone in the room he ran both his hands through his hair in frustration.

“Fucking idiot,” he mumbled. 

Since there was little use in pitying himself, however, he decided to put himself to much more use by storing the groceries they’d bought before going to Jace and Clary’s new place. And between a package of pasta and some broccoli he saw a bottle of shampoo. Remembering that Magnus had just said he wanted to take a shower and that there was no shampoo left in the bathroom he went to bring the bottle to him.

But before he could even knock Magnus tore the door wide open and was standing in front of him shirtless. He was still taking in the view when he was suddenly torn forward by the front of his shirt and then Magnus was kissing him again. 

The shampoo bottle slipped out of his grip as he slung both his arms around the other man’s waist. It was a little messier than their first kiss had been but just as good. They practically melted into each other, trying to get as much from the other person as possible.

Together they stumbled to the bed and from one moment to another Magnus was suddenly straddling him, impatiently tearing Alec’s shirt open and running his hands over his torso. When he reached the buckle of Alec’s belt he hesitated and cast Alec a questioning look, like Alec hadn’t been the one pining after Magnus, like he hadn’t waited for this moment for years, like the last months hadn’t been pure torture for him. 

Alec made his answer clear by pulling Magnus down into yet another kiss.

 

-

 

When Alec woke up he felt happy without knowing why but before he opened his eyes a rush of memories came back to him that made him smile into his pillow. Blindly he reached out, searching for the warmth of another body next to him but all his fingers found were empty sheets. Slowly he blinked his eyes open. Magnus was nowhere near to be seen.

Alec tried not to be disappointed. His friend was probably in the kitchen, making breakfast or getting dressed in his wardrobe. He unraveled himself from the blanket that he was wrapped around in and reached for his jeans that were lying on the floor next to him. He had fresh underwear somewhere in a drawer in Magnus’s closet but right now he just wanted something to cover his nudity whilst he went searching for Magnus so he didn’t bother with putting on any of his boxers. 

Just when he was about to close the buckle on his belt, Magnus stepped out of the wardrobe.

“Good morning,” Alec greeted him.

Made shy by having woken up alone he kept standing where he was, waiting to see how Magnus wanted to handle things rather than just assuming. Magnus remained standing in the doorway, his expression hard to read. Alec tried to smile at him but the smile the other man returned was nothing more than a grimace.

“Morning,” his friend answered, sounding less than enthusiastic.

Alec’s heart sank.

He didn’t know what else to say and so they spent a few seconds in awkward silence before Magnus cut straight to the chase.

“So, I think we both agree that we didn’t really handle things ideally last night.”

And suddenly Alec understood why Magnus was acting so weird. Alec had misread everything that had happened last night. For once he’d thought they finally understood each other, even without words, that all the confusion was gone and that they had found the same page with all their feelings lying out in the open. At least that was what it had been like for Alec. Now he knew that Magnus did not share that experience.

“Oh, do we? If you say so…” he could hear himself sound like an asshole but he was too hurt to care.

“We need to talk about what happened,” Magnus said but that was the last thing Alec wanted at the moment. 

“Why? You’ve been very clear. I don’t think more talking will be necessary.”

It was clear that it hadn’t been the same to Magnus than it had been to Alec and right now Alec didn’t need that rubbed into his face even more. He didn’t want to lay his feelings out into the open anymore. He was done being hurt, done hoping when he was being disappointed time and time again. All the signs had screamed at him to just give up and stop chasing Magnus and he hadn’t listened and hurt himself more than he could’ve imagined. He was done with it.

He picked up his shirt from the ground. He just wanted to get out of this apartment.

Magnus tried to hold him back but Alec just snapped at him. “Do I really want to hear this? Or are you just going to say that last night was a mistake?” He hoped the hurt in his voice wasn’t as obvious to Magnus as it was to him.

“What? No, that’s not what I meant!”

“But that’s what it sounded like!” Alec was almost shouting now which felt good.

“Maybe I could explain myself if you could just let me talk and listen!” Magnus matched his volume and shouted back.

“Alright! Talk then! What did you mean?”

“I meant that for once I just want to know what this meant to you!” 

This started Alec. What it meant to him? Magnus already knew what it meant to him. The question was rather what it meant to Magnus. But before he could wonder about it Magnus was already talking again.

“I’ve spent the last _months_ wondering what this between us means to you because ever since we started to pretend to be engaged I don’t know what’s real anymore and what isn’t! And the only mistake I can think of right now was that we did this before we talked about it first, something that I blame myself for! For months now, we’ve done nothing but lie. We lied to our friends, to our families, about our relationship, about what we’re doing and I am so sick of it! So all I want is one single truth. What did last night mean to you, Alexander? Because it meant a lot to me.

“Because I… I love you, Alexander. I’m in love with you.” 

It took a while until the meaning of those words reached Alec. And even when it did he had trouble processing it. 

Magnus was in love with him? Since when? How? And why had he not known about this? It seemed impossible. Everything about this just screamed ‘lie!’. 

“What?” he finally stammered. “You… you love me?”

He was sure he’d heard correctly but right now it appeared almost more probable that he hadn’t than for what Magnus had said to be true. 

‘It’s the complete other way around!’ he wanted to scream. ‘It’s not him who’s in love with me, I am in love with him!’ 

But for some odd reason that’s not what Magnus had said. 

_I love you, Alexander. I’m in love with you._

Before Alec could even begin to come up with a response of any kind, Magnus turned towards the door.

“I understand that this is a lot to take in. I believe it’s best if you take some time for yourself to think about some things.” But as soon as he opened the door his friend froze in surprise. “Maia? What are you doing here?”

And true enough, Maia was standing almost right in front of the bedroom door, looking as shocked as they were. For Alec this was all way too much to handle at the moment. He couldn’t focus on her right now when his best friend had just confessed his love to him. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when Magnus addressed him again. “Alexander, I think it’s better if you leave now.”

“Please, don’t…” He couldn’t leave now. Not now. Not when they had so much to talk about. Alec had never known how to say the things he’d always wanted to say but now he did and he couldn’t just go without having said them all.

“Just leave,” Magnus insisted. But Alec tried one more time.

“Magnus…” he whispered.

“ _Go!_ ”

Scared by the sudden shout Alec hurried to get his shoes and his jacket. He didn’t want to leave but right now he couldn’t stay either. And so he left.

 

-

 

As soon as he stepped out onto the street the full weight of what had just happened hit him. Frustrated, he pressed the palms of his hands against his forehead.

“Fuck!” he shouted. “ _Fuck!_ ”

Some pedestrians turned their heads into his direction but this was New York so no one paid him more attention. He kicked the front of the building he’d just exited to make his anger room.

He wanted to storm back into the apartment and sort everything out but he knew Magnus didn’t want him there and so he went to the one place he knew he could always go to with his problems. 

Izzy’s apartment was a good twenty minute ride from Magnus’s but Alec felt like he was in no condition to drive and so he walked a few blocks to let off some steam before taking the subway.

He didn’t even know if she had the day off, being a pathologist her working schedule was often just as messy as Alec’s, but he had to try anyway. When Simon opened the door for him his heart sank for a second but then the scrawny-looking man just stepped aside and told him that Izzy was already waiting for him in the kitchen.

At first Alec was confused as to how his sister knew what had happened but then he remembered that Maia had walked in on their fight. Izzy must have either been the first person she told or she had a giant group chat with all their mutual friends that she’d texted.

Izzy sat in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hand. As soon as she saw Alec enter she got up and spread her arms in an invitation for a hug that he accepted right away. Now that his anger had vanished he could feel his eyes starting to prickle with tears. He saw his sister shooing away her new boyfriend so that they could have more privacy, which he was thankful for.

“I’m guessing you know then,” he finally said, his voice weak.

“Know what?”

Alec frowned. “So Maia didn’t tell you?”

Now Izzy frowned as well. “Maia? No, what are you talking about? Tell me what?”

“But Simon said you already waited for me,” Alec stammered, confused.

“Well, yes, I figured you’d come by sooner or later but I didn’t expect you to come this early. I was… well, why don’t you tell me first what happened and then we’ll talk about it, okay?”

Alec was too tired to argue and so he told his sister everything, from the very beginning. He talked for what felt like hours, sometimes getting caught up in one aspect and other times forgetting something so that he had to go back and explain something else first. At the end Alec thought he couldn’t have possibly explained it for anyone to understand but Izzy was a good listener, letting him ramble on until he was finished. Only when he ended with an exhausted “and that’s why I’m here and now I don’t know what to do” she said something.

“Well, I’ve suspected that something was going on since yesterday, that’s why I’ve been waiting for you to come by, but that was not what I was expecting.” She took a long sip from her coffee that had remained forgotten in the cup in her hand and winced when she found out that it was cold by now.

“Since yesterday?” Alec asked, trying to remember what had happened that had made them look suspicious.

Izzy shrugged. “The way you kissed at the last contest and the way you looked at him afterwards… it just seemed like this had been the first kiss you two shared. Which it was, wasn’t it? I mean, the first you can remember, not counting anything that happened at the time you two were black-out drunk.”

Alec nodded, shoulders slumped. “I just don’t get it. How could everything spiral out of control that much?”

“I’m much more surprised by the fact that two people can be so oblivious at the same time. Did you really think that Magnus doesn’t feel more for you than just friendship?”

“Well, he did say he wanted to keep being friends right when I was about to kiss him, so yeah!” Alec defended himself. With a deep sigh he leaned back in his chair. 

“True, that was a really bad timing for such an ambiguous statement,” Izzy admitted. “But at least now it’s all clear, isn’t it? I mean, he loves you, you love him…” she weighed one hand against the other, “so why don’t you just go to him?”

“It’s not that easy! You should have seen his face when he kicked me out. He doesn’t want to see me,” Alec confessed, looking at his hands.

“Bullshit. That was this morning! And he only kicked you out because he thought you were going to reject him. Don’t you see? You both thought the other one already knew you liked them. So you can imagine how he felt, Alec. He was just as scared and vulnerable as you were and just like you he was convinced you couldn’t possible feel the same way. Now that you’ve told me everything I’m surprised you even managed to get a move on and I think the only reason why that is, is that you’re insufferably stubborn and decided to act on the smallest of hopes. And thank the Angel you did because else you might have never known that Magnus loves you too.”

Even now that he knew that Magnus loved him, those words still sounded magical to him said out loud. Alec smiled at them, his gaze still fixated onto his hands. 

“Don’t you think Magnus wants to know that you love him too?”

Now Alec slowly looked up until he met his sister’s eyes. She smiled.

“So why are you still sitting here?”

 

-

 

Alec had a strange sense of Déjà vu as he ran to the nearest flower shop on his way to confess his love to his best friend. The last time he had run into a stranger and found out that Magnus’s confession had been nothing more than grief talking after the break-up of a long-term relationship. The idea struck Alec that he might not have been the possibility of a rebound for Magnus back then but then he pushed that thought aside. It didn’t matter what had been. The only thing that counted was what was now. And right now all he knew was that Magnus Bane was in love with him.

Also, he realized that as it was Sunday and all the flower shops were closed. But spring had finally and undoubtedly arrived in New York by now and the day was warm and flowers were blooming everywhere and so decided to make a small detour and plucked a handful of yellow wildflowers in the Brooklyn Bridge Park. He didn’t know why it was so important to him to have the flowers but he felt better not turning up emptyhanded.

Maybe he wanted this to go how it should have the first time around, when he’d arrived at Magnus’s door with a hand full of flowers and a huge crush only to see a stranger exit the apartment. He had tried almost everything to develop something between Magnus and him that was more than just friendship but every time he’d tried it seemed like the universe had thrown something into their way. Each time he’d tried to confess his feelings they’d been interrupted by a friend, family member, stranger or something else entirely. All their moments had been disturbed by one thing or another, each attempt at romance foiled before they could see where it led. It almost felt like they were both part of a tragic comedy of sorts. The star-crossed lovers of a rom com movie. Fated to never be together.

Well, fuck fate.

He was lucky and arrived at the building with Magnus’s apartment in just as someone was about to exit and so he caught the door and slipped into the hallway without having to ring the bell.

The ride with the elevator seemed to last hours that Alec spent with trying to fix his hair and straightening his shirt that was all wrinkled from having lain on the floor all night. He noticed that two of the buttons had popped off, presumably from when Magnus had ripped it open last night.

Finally, he reached the apartment door and knocked. Seconds passed by but no answer. He knocked again but still no answer.

Eventually he decided to simply enter. The door was never locked anyway no matter how many times Alec tried to tell his friend that it was not safe to leave the door unlocked when you lived in the middle of Brooklyn. 

There was no one in the living room or the kitchen either but when he reached the bedroom he heard a quiet sobbing from the other side of the door that broke his heart.

He hesitated, his fist hovering over the wood of the door but then he knocked softly three times. The sobbing stopped.

Then he heard Magnus from the other side: “Go away, Cat. I need to be alone right now. Don’t worry I’ve got the Chairman to keep me company.” His voice was almost nasal-sounding from having cried too much.

Instead of responding, Alec opened the door. Magnus was sitting on the floor, leaning against his bed with his knees pulled towards his body and the Chairman cuddled in his arms. 

“Alexander.” Alec could see the surprise in Magnus’s face but before he could say more Alec raised both hands in defense, one of them still holding the bouquet of wildflowers.

“Please, don’t send me away again. Just, let me talk first, okay?”

Magnus nodded, dumbstruck and wide-eyed.

Alec took a deep breath. “Okay.”

He then realized that he hadn’t actually prepared what he wanted to say and as usually he was struck again by his lack of eloquence.

“I, uh, I don’t really know how to say this,” he started, “and I think that might also be one of the reasons why it took me so long to tell you what I’m going to tell you now.”

He wet his lips, a nervous habit of his. He couldn’t remember his heart ever beating this quickly. Suddenly he realized he was still holding the flowers.

“Oh and, uh, these are for you, by the way.” He stepped forward and handed the bouquet to Magnus who took it without getting up from his spot on the floor. The Chairman saw his window of opportunity and used it to flee from the arms of his owner.

“Sorry,” Ales apologized when he saw his friend watching the cat leave the room with a saddened expression.

“What did you want to tell me?” Magnus asked, reminding Alec of why he’d actually come.

“Yeah, right…” Alec trailed off. God, _why_ was he so bad at this? “I came here because of what you said this morning. And I really hope you meant what you said because, and I should have told you this way sooner, I love you too. I’m in love with you.”

In Magnus’s eyes he saw the same surprise and confusion that he’d felt when he’d heard his friend say those same words.

“It took me a while to realize that,” Alec continued, “but I’ve been in love with you for years now and all I’ve done these past months was trying to see if maybe you could like me as well. Things didn't always turn out as planned but I really did think that you knew that I wanted more than just friendship and that you just didn’t feel the same. So I was pretty surprised when I found out you felt the exact same way that I did.”

Having nothing more left to say Alec stood there and waited for Magnus to say something. But soon he started to feel very awkward, standing in the middle of the room like that and so he sat down next to Magnus, leaning against the bed frame. His friend had not let him out of his sight the whole time and after what felt like an eternity he finally spoke:

“You love me?”

Alec nodded. “There’s never been anyone like you. And I think there never will be.”

Magnus looked at him in awe. There were stains of dried tears on his cheeks and his eyes were reddened but he still looked beautiful.

“Am I dreaming?” he asked, scrunching his eyebrows together.

Alec chuckled softly. “I hope not.”

Magnus raised the one hand that wasn’t holding the flowers to Alec’s cheek, running his thumb across the light stubble on his chin.

“I love you,” Alec repeated, relishing in the freedom of it no longer being a secret.

Magnus smiled. It started small, barely a twitch of the corners of his mouth but it soon widened into a full grin that made his eyes glint. Alec leaned down and kissed him. It was an innocent kiss. There was no urgency, no heat, just a simple press of lips against lips but so far it was Alec’s favorite because when they broke apart Magnus smiled again and whispered:

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END
> 
> let's be real, raise your hand if you legitimately thought this fic would not be finished at one point or another. don't worry, there's no need to be shy. i really, really can't blame you. but you guys, it's finally finished. not only this chapter but this whole fic is completed now. i gotta say, i'm feeling a little nostalgic right now but i'm also super proud of the work i've done. when i go back to the first chapter i think i can say with confidence that i've grown as a writer since then. my english has improved considerably and i've come to understand the characters a lot better than i did in the beginning. 
> 
> it's been one hell of a ride and i'd like to thank each and every one of your for sticking with me till the very end. a big thank you to those of you who left kudos and comments. you were what kept me motivated all this time. please feel hugged by me (unless you have a problem with personal space and/or physical contact, in that case i will offer you a high five if you'd prefer that. or an awkward smile. but not both.)
> 
> as always, i'm giving the biggest hug to my awesome beta, may, who deserves the world. without her this fic wouldn't be what it is now and it would certainly have a lot more spelling mistakes. that is why, in hindsight, i'm dedicating this whole fucking fic to you. you deserve it, pudding. now go and shower her with love, okay? ([Her tumblr](https://an-indecisive-fangirl.tumblr.com/), [her blog](https://aroomfullofbooks.blog/))
> 
> if you wanna be my friend or yell at me or both you can best do that on [tumblr](http://dontblinkamelia.tumblr.com/).


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